


you may regret this

by neogotmyheart



Series: you may regret this [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Assassins & Hitmen, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blindfolds, Death, Drugs, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Oral Sex, Organized Crime, Restraints, Secret Organizations, Smut, Top Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Violence, mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 16:40:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 85,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neogotmyheart/pseuds/neogotmyheart
Summary: as a reporter in seoul, you thought you had seen it all. it wasn't until you met jaehyun that you saw just how wrong you really were.





	1. one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what was supposed to be a simple night out ended with a less than ideal mishap. you can’t decide how to feel about the man whose home you’ve woken up in

You made your way into your apartment, struggling with your case and purse before setting everything down on the counter. Avoiding your roommate, you snuck into your room quietly. Work had been long and you just weren’t sure you were in the mood to socialize at the moment.

You were a reporter for the primetime news at a local station in Seoul. The love for your job didn’t stop the exhaustion from staying later and later. Crime had been higher and you were always the one that got sent to the scene. It was then your job to collect notes after the broadcast ended in order to pass off to the journalist team when they finally turned up. The stress had begun to affect your life even when you left, constantly worrying about what could happen for the next day.

Just when you moved to sit on the end of your bed, taking your shoes off, you heard a knock on the door. 

“____? Are you home? Let’s go out tonight.” Your roommate called through the door.

Sooyeon had been a close friend of yours through the entirety of college. It was still a mystery how your paths even crossed seeing as Sooyeon was an art major and worked on giant abstract pieces that took hours and hours of work in the studio. After your freshman year, Sooyeon decided it would be good to move in together since you were together every free hour anyway. Now that the two of you had graduated, she was frequently home seeing as you decided to turn one of the rooms in your apartment into a functional studio for herself.

Unfortunately for you, Sooyeon was constantly wanting to go out. Her excuse being that she was trapped inside all day and this was her only form of social interaction outside of you. How was she supposed to meet anyone unless they pursued the nightlife? You would reply by asking if men she met in the club were really people that were worth pouring a future into.

Surprisingly, for the first time in quite a while, going out didn’t sound terrible. You could use a drink or two after the week you had at work. It was a Friday so you at least had the weekend off meaning the weekend crew would come in to relieve the ones who had worked all week. It would be nice to take a small break and you felt as though you deserved it.

You knew that by agreeing to go to the club, you would be sitting at the bar sipping on the same drink until you got bored and went home alone. Sooyeon tended to leave with a man she found intriguing enough to stay the night with. The stories about how tragic they were in bed would meet your ears come early morning after Sooyeon’s return to the apartment following yet another dead end pursuit.

You quietly got ready, putting together an outfit that was appropriate for a club while also giving off the impression that you weren’t necessarily there to socialize. It consisted of a plain dress that was slim fitting and a pair of stilettos. It would have been ideal to just stay at home with a glass of wine, but Sooyeon usually finished a bottle as soon as you got it.

Your roommate laid across your couch when you finally emerged from your room. She was dressed less conservatively than you with a skirt that was relatively short and a mesh top paired with a brightly colored bra. You had a small pang of jealousy wishing that you could be able to pull off an outfit like that or even just have the desire to wear such. Consistently going out to relieve stress was also something you wished you could do, but the idea didn’t hold the same interest as an early night in bed. You admired Sooyeon’s boldness regardless of your own idea of a good time.

Your friend met your gaze and gave a bright smile. “I was only gonna give you five more minutes before leaving. Thought you might want to spend your early night off staying in.”

“I think it might be nice to go out. I haven’t left in a while.”

“You’re only 25. You need to be doing something besides working. I know you’re like the best reporter in the world and worked your way up fast, but,” she lowered her voice. “It’s okay to act your age every once in a while.” She grabbed your hand and drug the two of you out the door of their apartment and into the elevator.

Your apartment wasn’t anything to be ashamed of. You and Sooyeon both became fairly successful out of college. Sooyeon had already begun selling pieces for outrageous amounts before receiving her degree. You worked for a prestigious news network for an internship that provided plenty of connections that allowed for an easy transition into reporting for the nightly news. Most of the money for the apartment came from your roommate, but Sooyeon insisted that you stay with her, proclaiming that she would just die if she lived alone and she hates everyone but her beloved friend.

You got into a cab and headed toward Apgujeong since was a particular club that Sooyeon was partial toward. The drinks were expensive, but she said that’s how she would find out who had the money and would be a suitable partner. She would agree that she was slightly materialistic, but at least she had standards.

You made your way in and the two of you were instantly separated, as expected. Sooyeon made her way the middle of the club while you moved to find a seat at the bar. You picked the least populated area and took a seat in the middle of a few empty chairs. The bartender greeted you with a smile and took your order before you turned your attention toward the dancefloor. When you weren’t able to pick out your roommate in the small crowd, you shot your roommate the typical text requesting to know when she left while you waited for your martini.

You looked up to find your drink in front of you and stirred the cocktail lazily before taking a small sip, grimacing. You hated vodka. Each time you went out, you ordered martinis and consistently regretted it. The order was for the sheer purpose of making yourself take your time. With your level of nerves, the last thing you wanted was to blow through drinks and end up struggling to find a way home.

You sat, turning the glass with your finger. It was nice to be able to decompress and not wallow in your apartment. The bass surrounded you and you slowly tuned it out to where it was just a slight thudding. You reveled in the solidarity.

Work had been hectic lately. There had been a sudden increase in crime. You always felt like you were being sent on the field as soon as you arrived at the station. Sometimes, the studio head would end up calling you just to tell you to go directly to the scene. The presumed cause of all the sudden outbreaks was gang activity which weighed heavy on your chest. You knew the city had gangs. It would be irrational to think that the highly populated city was completely free of organized crime. However, the magnitude of these occurrences was beginning to be worrisome. It had been a long time since you were affected by the news you delivered. You found that you were able to put up a mental wall to separate yourself from the tragedies that were happening all around you. You began to question if your protective technique was enough.

You gazed back to the floor to hopefully distract you. The club wasn’t super busy thanks to the lofty price on everything. Only the elite found themselves here. Because of this, you were able to spot Sooyeon fairly quick. It didn’t take long to realize that your roommate had already found a man who presumably piqued her interest. He was strikingly handsome with his height and broad shoulders. His smile was perfect and he appeared to be dressed in designer everything. This was Sooyeon’s type. You knew you could never be as successful as she is if you attempted to go after similar men.

You observed their interaction for a bit, curious to see her tactics in action. Sooyeon played with the buttons on the man’s shirt and leaned against his shoulder, laughing while leaning in to say something in his ear. The man’s grip around her waist visibly tightened while she laughed again. You assumed she was probably sharing some intimate detail about her wishes for the night. Feeling as if you were watching something intimate, you quickly turned away.

You remembered a time when you acted similarly. Granted, you were never as touchy or outgoing as Sooyeon, but you didn’t mind leaving the club with a stranger and leaving early in the morning. You quickly found that you were continually unsatisfied. The men had always had their fair share of alcohol while you remained sober. After a few too many nights of your needs not being met, you found yourself falling into your current routine. You figured this would be safer for your reputation anyway. The last thing you needed was everyone in the city knowing what all you liked to do after work. Reaching for the glass in front of you, you tried to distract yourself and think about everything except work. This was supposed to be your night out and the last thing you felt at the moment was relaxed.

A slow feeling of dizziness began to creep up. You were confused and checked your drink, sloppily picking it up to find that you still had a few sips left. Even if the glass was empty, it wouldn’t be enough to push you to borderline blackout. You didn’t consider yourself a lightweight, especially not so much so as to be plastered by a single martini.

Movement beside you interrupted your train of thought. You turned to find a man moving to sit next to you and instantly felt uncomfortable by your presence. He gave you a greasy smile and began to ask you questions. You found that not only were you unwilling to answer, but you were also unable to fully process what the man was saying. You kept trying to tell him to leave you alone but were unable to form the words you were looking for. Feeling your phone go off, you checked to find the Sooyeon was leaving. Her contact was only recognizable by the ridiculous amount of emojis she added when you first became friends. You attempted to type a response and dropped your phone. Panic surged through you but found that you were unable to make any movements. The situation was becoming clear as the scenery around you blurred. You laid your head down on the bar, hoping and praying that you wouldn’t be left with the man beside you.

“Ma’am, are you okay?”

“She’s fine. Just had too much to drink. I should probably take her home. I told her to watch her intake just before we got here.” You hear a throaty laugh next to you. “No self-control, this one.”

The words sounded foggy. You found that you were unable to resist the man beside you lifting you to wrap your arm around his shoulders. One of his own arms snaked around her waist, not hesitating to grab your ass. You heard a laugh in your ear before you felt yourself falling, completely giving it to sleep.

* * *

You awoke to a dark room and turned over to fumble with a table next to you before finding a lamp. Once it was turned on, your head throbbed. You winced and closed your eyes once more. When you were finally able to at least attempt to open them, you found yourself in a luxurious bed in the middle of an unfamiliar room. Looking down, you were greeted by the sight of an unfamiliar shirt. Fear coursed through your body as you forced yourself out of bed, stumbling to a bathroom. Your hand searched frantically along the wall before flipping the light switch.

Your headache went ignored while you scanned your body for any forms of bruising. You also weren’t sore in any way and let out a small sigh of relief. It didn’t completely guarantee that you were safe from any possible assault from the night before, but it did mean it was less likely. Maybe a girl was able to bring you to her own place and away from the man who presumably spiked your drink.

You walked back to the bedroom to find a note with a man’s handwriting on the bed and your clothes from the night before folded neatly.

_I gave you a t-shirt to wear to bed. Your dress didn’t look very comfortable. I tried my best not to look. Your phone is plugged in on the nightstand next to your wallet. I also covered the tab from last night. I can take you home in the morning._

You looked over at the nightstand with the lamp to find your belongings and unplugged your phone. It was 11 in the morning and no new messages. You were never able to reach out to Sooyeon.

You felt a wave of disappointment rush over you. Being independent was something you consistently prided yourself on. Now, here you were having to be rescued by a man after getting drugged. It all felt too much like a cliche. You sighed and attempted to venture into one of the main rooms on your still wobbly legs.

Upon opening the door, you were greeted by the bright light of the morning. A wall of windows showed the cityscape from below. The apartment was relatively larger than your own. Minimalistic furniture filled the space. The open concept leads into a huge kitchen where you saw a man, facing the stove away from you. His back shone in the sunlight, highlighting the toned muscles.

“Um,” you spoke up slightly. He turned and gave you a soft smile. You were able to see his dimples from where you were standing.

He gestured for you to come closer, a kitchen bar separating the two of you. You took a seat.

“Here’s some breakfast. It’ll help with the headache.” He passed you a plate with some french toast and eggs.

“Thank you.” You accepted it and gave him a nod. “Are you a chef or something?”

He laughed. “The first question you want to ask me is if I’m a chef?”

“I guess so.” You shrugged and began to eat.

He grabbed his own plate and sat it on the counter in front of you, resting his elbows on the marble top. “No. I am not a chef. Anything else you want to ask?” His tone was slightly teasing. It caught you off guard considering the situation they were in.

“Yeah. What happened? How did I get here? Who are you?” You began rambling.

“Ah yes, the questions I thought you would have asked to begin with.” He laughed again before taking a bite of his food. “My name is Jaehyun. Last night I thought a guy spiked your drink, so I kept an eye on you to make sure nothing happened to you.”

“Why keep an eye on me instead of telling me?” You questioned. Even if there was just a suspicion that you were drugged, it seemed silly to not be informed right away.

“I figured you were smart enough not to drink from a cup that wasn’t handed to you by the bartender. Plus, the man who drugged you was someone I was trying to watch as well. A potential business partner.” He took another bite and pointed his fork at himself. “I brought you back here. I tried to contact the girl who texted you saying she was leaving but she wouldn’t answer. Does she just leave you a lot?”

“It’s kind of routine. We go to the club. She never drinks and leaves with some guy and I leave once I’ve had enough.” You shrugged and began to eat. You were really hoping it would calm the now growing nausea.

The man named Jaehyun spoke again. “That’s not very safe.”

“I know that now.” You snapped. It wasn’t like she wanted to be in this situation either. His teasing tone was beginning to wear on you. You woke up in an unfamiliar home with an equally unfamiliar face and now you were being lectured. “And I’m 25. You don’t have to speak down to me.”

“Okay. I won’t. I’m sorry.” He seemed genuine

They ate in peace for a short bit before Jaehyun spoke again. “So, what about you?”

“What do you mean what about me?” You asked, confused.

“Who are you? What do you do?”

Defensiveness flicked through your tone. “Why do you need to know?”

“These are a lot of questions and no one’s getting answers.” He sighed. “I want to know because you’re in my house. I would at least like to know who you are before sending you on your merry way.”

“You’re the one that brought me here, but okay.” You sighed and put your fork down.

“I’ll be sure to leave you at the club next time.” He teased. You shot him a warning glance and the smile slowly fell from his face.

“My name is ___. I’m a reporter.”

“A reporter. Okay.” He nodded.

“Which news station do you watch?”

He chuckled. “Oh, I don’t watch the news.”

“Why not?” You were prepared to hear a slew of excuses as to why he didn’t watch the news.

“I already know what you’re going to be talking about.” He shrugged. “It would be a waste of my time.”

“That’s an ignorant stance. You don’t know everything.”

“I know more than you’ll ever give me credit for.” He didn’t sound cocky when he said it. His tone carried more regret than anything. It was confusing for a man to say he knew everything but not be boastful about it. It still didn’t make sense how he could already know everything that would be on the news. However, your unfamiliarity with the man in front of you was making you want to take the subject off of you.

You looked up at him. “Well then, what do you do for a living?”

“I’m in business.” He met your gaze and gave you a small smirk.

“You’re so specific.” A teasing tone was now finding its way into your own voice. You felt oddly at ease despite the situation. Jaehyun was anything but threatening. You wanted to trust that he genuinely just brought you home.

“All you said was that you’re a reporter.” He countered.

“A reporter is a more specific profession than business, Jaehyun.”

He laughed. “It’s a shame we met under these circumstances because I think I would have really liked you.”

“You don’t like me now?” You feigned insult.

“No, I do, but what are the chances you’ll want to see me ever again when I’m the guy that brought you to his home while you were passed out to keep you from being raped?”

“It’s not like you raped me.” You resumed eating.

“I can take you to the hospital if you want to be sure.” His voice was gentle. “I would be uncomfortable if I just woke up in a stranger’s home.”

“The fact that you’re offering to take me to get a rape kit when I never asked makes me think I don’t need one.”

“You’re too trusting. What if that’s what I want you to think.”

You shook your head. “My head still hurts. Will you stop making everything an argument?”

“Yes. Of course.” He gave you a small, genuine smile. “And you’re safe. I prefer for the other person to be responsive when I’m with them.”

“So, you’re a normal person.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but I’m not a rapist.” He grabbed his plate. “Do you want any more to eat?”

You shook your head and your own plate was taken from in front of you. You were intrigued by the man and his extravagant apartment with such a modest title of businessman. You wanted to say something about getting to know him more but it really didn’t seem like the time or the place.

Your phone buzzed from beside you, your roommate’s name flashing on the screen. You answered reluctantly.

“Hello?”

“You sneaky bitch!” Sooyeon squealed. “You went home with somebody!”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Can we just talk about this when I get home.”

“Yes, ugh, go for a round two if you can. You never get out. You need to make up for lost time. Unless of course, the beer goggles wore off. Then please come home.” You heard a click and placed your phone on the counter. You looked up to find Jaehyun watching you with raised eyebrows.

“What?” Your tone was flat.

Jaehyun smiled, shaking his head. “Nothing. It’s just that you know you should try for at least one round since you never get out much. Both of us barely have any clothes on anyway.” You could tell he was teasing but there was still a dark glint reflecting in his eyes. 

It created a stir in you, and unfortunately, it wasn’t unpleasant. You tried to keep your mind from drifting off and thinking about what would happen if you did stay with Jaehyun for just a bit longer. You brushed it off remembering why and how you even got here. It felt like the whole morning you had been repressing the trauma from the night before. You needed to come to reality.

“I obviously need to turn my speaker volume down.” You huffed, getting down from the chair. It wasn’t a direct no but you hoped it would be enough to shoot down the idea. You needed to turn away from him to refrain from staring at his toned chest and abs. The fact that you were even  _thinking_ about sleeping with him made you extremely disappointed in yourself.

Jaehyun dried his hands on a nearby towel and leaned against the counter behind him. “No, but really. Go get your stuff. I’ll take you home.”

“You accused me of being too trusting and now you want me to get in an unfamiliar car and let you supposedly drive me home?” The man was a walking contradiction.

“You’re already in an unfamiliar place and I haven’t tried anything, have I? I can call you a cab if you would prefer.”

You really didn’t know this man at all and here you were having playful banter with him in his kitchen, making you feel as if you were toeing a dangerous line. You weren’t exactly sure how to handle anything really. Despite earlier mentioning you trusted nothing happened, you were beginning to have your speculations.

“You can drive me.” You sighed.

He smiled at you. “Okay, where to?”

“The hospital.”

The car ride was pleasant. Filled with small talk. He asked you more about your job. He was impressed with your ability to work your way up so quickly. You arrived at the hospital shortly, just for Jaehyun to insist he would stay with you until you were ready to leave. While you waited for your results, you took the chance to ask Jaehyun a few more questions.

“Why didn’t you try and check my license for an address to send me to?” Would have been a more responsible thing to do than take you back to his place.

“I did. The address listed is about 4 hours away. You should update that, you know.”

You hadn’t received a new license since moving to the city for an internship. You really should make that a new priority, but you chose not to respond before moving on to the next question. “If you’re a businessman, who do you work for?”

“Lee Enterprises.” He replied, a smug smile on his face.  So the biggest company in Seoul. You were getting a few more answers.

“What’s your specific title? Anything I would have ever heard of? You seem well off. Not trying to be insulting, just an observation.”

“Public relations.” It was something.

“PR, huh. What does that entail?”

“I’ll choose not to answer. My job is to keep things private” He smiled at you.

If there was that much secrecy and security with a company of that level, it would explain the amount of money he appeared to be making. The man was intriguing, but you somehow felt at ease with him. He had a comfortable air to him that drew you in.

Once you were given the clear to go with a clean kit, the two of you made your way back to Jaehyun’s car.

“Hey, ___?” He opened your door for you.

You hummed in response, climbing into the car.

“You’re allowed to say no, but would you consider seeing me again? Possibly more formally and with fewer inconveniences such as a spiked drink.”

You found yourself answering before even giving it a second thought. “I would actually really like that.”


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reality of what happened to you last weekend begins to weigh on you after reporting on an arson. You see Jaehyun again in a much more relaxed environment.

You attempted to sneak through the door, hoping not to alert Sooyeon to your arrival. You wanted to tell her about Jaehyun but you knew that would require telling her about what happened. You needed time to figure out how to describe the night without making her feel guilty. Unfortunately, you weren’t given that luxury as you heard Sooyeon speak up from behind you.

“Well, well, well. Trying to sneak in after your crazy night out, huh?” You turned to find she had a huge smile on her face. She was in a large t-shirt with paint all over it and her hair was thrown into a messy bun. Recognizing the outfit, you figured she was getting ready to work.

You let out a small laugh, running your hands through your hair. Guess you were going to have to improvise. “I didn’t want to bother you if you were working.”

“I’ve literally been staring at the painting in that room for two weeks. You’re doing me a favor right now, trust me.”

You tried to find a way to prolong the inevitable. “I have a date this week.”

Her eyebrow lifted in interest and a smirk found her lips. “With the man you went home with?”

Damn it. That didn’t work. “Went home with is a loose term.” You moved to sit on the couch next to her. Your mind was racing through last night’s events once again.

“What does that mean?” 

“I technically did go home with him, but I was kind of passed out so nothing happened.”   


“Good lord, ___. How much did you have to drink?”   


“It wasn’t really how much I had to drink and more so what was in it.”

Confusion graced her features. “You’re really confusing me…”

You sighed and buried your face in your hands. You really couldn’t put this off any longer. “A man spiked my drink. He tried to get me to leave with him and this guy stepped in right when I passed out.”

“Holy shit. That’s why you called me three times.”

“Jaehyun called you three times.” You quietly corrected. You don’t know why you did when you were trying your best to  _ not _ make her feel guilty.

“I’m so sorry, ___. I put my phone on silent and then when I got home and saw the missed calls, I figured you were panicking in the bathroom because some guy hit on you and you didn’t know what to do.” She leaned back against the couch and grabbed a pillow, wrapping her arms around it. “I have to be the worst friend ever.”   


“No, you aren’t. It was a reasonable assumption. And we’ve had this routine for years. How were you supposed to see this coming? I obviously didn’t.”

“Yeah, but you were almost raped. And it was my fault.”

You were scared of this happening. “It wasn’t your fault. I really don’t want you to blame yourself. It just of easily could have happened to you.”

She let out a deep breath and you turned to see that she was crying. She pulled you into a hug. Sooyeon was obviously taking this harder than you were. Perhaps you were still in shock. Or maybe it was the fact that you were able to wake up to someone like Jaehyun who made you feel comfortable almost instantly.

“Only you could get a date and escape intense trauma in one night.” She leaned back. “Who do you have a date with?”   


“The guy that took me home.”   


“He didn’t try and pull anything while you were knocked out?” 

You shook your head. “He put me to bed in a guest room and cooked me breakfast this morning. He even drove me to the hospital to get a rape kit.”

“A real knight in shining armor, huh? God, I’m glad he was there. I wanna meet him so I can thank him.”   


“Okay, but you can’t steal him from me. He’s your usual type and we both know you’re prettier.” You both joked about the other being the pretty one but it didn’t change the fact that Sooyeon really was one of the most beautiful girls you had ever seen.

“Shut up. I am not.” She laughed. “Is he hot?”

“Very.” Your mind momentarily drifted to the view of him in the kitchen, cooking your breakfast. You knew words couldn’t adequately describe the man.

“Rich?”

“Very.”

“Shit. I’d make a joke about this but I think it’s too soon.”   


“We haven’t even gone out yet.” You warned her. She had a habit of getting way ahead of herself.   


“I know, but wow. Dating a man who saved you. That’s pretty romantic.”

As if on cue, your phone went off, displaying an unknown number. As soon as you read the contents, you knew it was Jaehyun.

 

 **Jaehyun:** _Hope you got up to your apartment safely. Please text me if you need anything over the next couple of days._

 **You:** _I did. Thank you. Hope to see you soon._

 

You were kicking yourself at how fast you responded. You felt like you were in high school all over again. You couldn’t help the annoyed groan that tumbled out.

“Work?” Sooyeon looked at you curiously.

“No, um. It’s Jaehyun.” You put your phone back on the table. You didn’t want to look at the two texts and continue to over analyze them.

“And you’re mad about hearing from him?”   
“No. I just… I responded right away and said that I hoped to see him soon.”

“You’re not a teenager, ___. A response like that is perfectly acceptable. You’re a little out of practice.” She laughed and reached over to the coffee table to grab a book. She began reading it again just as your phone went off again.

She smirked. “Doesn’t seem like he cares too much about response time.”

 

 **Jaehyun:** _How does next Saturday sound? I can pick you up at seven?_

**You:** _ Sounds good. I’ll see you then. _

~~~

The rest of the weekend went far too quickly. You spent most of Saturday sleeping, recovering from the drowsiness and nausea from whatever had been slipped into your drink. The remainder of the weekend was spent trying to catch up on what had happened in the news. You wanted to make sure you had any information that you might need before returning to work.

On Monday morning, you walked into the studio and were instantly greeted by the head anchor. “Ms. ___, good morning.”

You had never particularly liked the man. He had made plenty of comments in the past about how your appearance is what made you a good reporter and your boobs were what made people turn into this station as opposed to another. You had dressed in nothing but overly conservative clothing ever since. 

“Simon.” You nodded in his general direction. 

“You were requested on scene.” He handed you a report with an address and a general summary of the findings thus far.

“Another arson?” You flipped through the packet. It was the third one in two months. The two prior were both abandoned warehouses. With a quick review, you found that this one was a similar situation. Each circumstance could have been chalked up to accidents except for the spray painted “W” on one side. It was such a childish, senseless act. You were just thankful that the buildings were abandoned so no one was truly getting hurt. You flipped back to the front of the packet, slipping it in your bag while walking back outside and calling a cab.

On the way to the scene, you further inspected the packet. You had two hours before the next news segment giving you plenty of time to collect the information necessary. Once reading everything, you realized that this was exactly the same as the other two. At least your job would be somewhat easier. 

You couldn’t get over the fact that the person responsible for these was proud enough of his work to leave a signature marking. It just created something else for the cops to go off of. You had spent enough time reporting to know that anything can and will be used as a lead.

The cab pulled to the curb, drawing your attention to the cop cars surrounding the property. This was easily the worst one yet. The previous buildings have at least some structure left. This one had nothing but random chunks of the exterior wall and support pillars. A red W  stayed blaring in front of you. You approached the scene with your pen and pad already out. You fished your press pass out of your bag, slipping it over your neck. 

You quickly found the officer you were most familiar with. You nodded in his direction.

“Ah, Ms. ___. I knew we’d see you soon.” 

You pride yourself on always being one of the first reporters on the scene. You wanted to be able to get all the information without fighting with others for officers’ attention. Plus you were picky with the cops you talked to.

Minjun was in his 40s and was one of the only officers that hadn’t made you uncomfortable or shoo’ed you off. You had developed a very professional relationship that allowed you to get the most information possible. “Officer, it just wouldn’t be a crime scene unless I got here five minutes after you guys did.”

He laughed. “I appreciate your work ethic. Now, what do you wanna know?”   


“Anything that I can’t figure out by looking. I don’t want to waste your time.”   


“Well, you’re a smart girl so I’m sure you’ve figured out that this is from the same person or group. We have some suspicions. A group has been spotted at all three of these locations. We assume it’s gang activity.”

You felt your stomach churn. You’ve delivered heavy topics but rising gang activity that is bouncing around town isn’t exactly the best news to deliver.

“Any suspects at the moment?” You ask quietly.

“A few. That’s all I can give you at the moment. Sorry I can’t be more help.”   


“No, this is good. Thank you for your help, as always.” You nodded towards him and gave him a smile before walking closer to the scene. Everything was in ashes. A few support beams were left but most was in the piles of ash. This was the worst fire you had seen. Whoever was responsible for this was starting to figure out how to do the most damage. You tried to not become afraid of the thought.

Organized crime was never something that sat well with you, especially not when it was to such a dangerous extent. You took the remainder of the notes you needed before returning to the station to type up a script for the team at noon. 

The rest of the day passed fairly quickly. You remained in touch with Minjun in hopes of receiving more information before returning to the scene tonight. After questioning one of the suspects, they were released leaving only two people in custody. With this being all the information you had received, you tweaked the noon script before heading back to the scene.

A chill raced through your body as a breeze hit you. The darkness brought a new level of uneasiness to the location. The crew began setting up lights around the building. You wanted to get this report over as fast as possible so you could go home. This was the most uncomfortable you had felt in a long time.

The segment went by quickly and next thing you knew, you were in a cab on your way home. You typically waited for the night crew, but tonight you were sending your script with an update through a quick email instead. You silently prayed that you didn’t appear unprofessional as you sped through the information, but it took all you had to stand in the rubble for as long as you did.

Officer Minjun practically confirmed gang activity. You rested your head against the seat rest behind you and knew you needed to prepare yourself for the next incident. You hated how worked up you were getting. Maybe it was the combination of this with the events from the weekend. Could someone in the gang have been responsible for what happened to you?

You wanted to vomit thinking about how big an issue that could have been. You resisted the urge to pull out your phone and text Jaehyun some pitiful message. You would just thank him when you saw him at dinner this weekend.

You paid and exited the cab as quickly as you could. You just needed to get inside where you knew you were safe. The reality of what could have happened was finally wearing on you. You knew that nothing serious had happened, but it didn’t change how violated you felt. 

As soon as you got inside, you walked straight to the shower. You turned the knob to as hot as you could tolerate while you scrubbed viciously at your skin. Maybe if you scrubbed hard enough, everything from that night would leave. You kept trying to push the few images from that night out of your head. The man’s greasy smile, his hands on you, the way he talked to the bartender. You wanted it all gone. 

You rested your head against the shower wall, tears escaping and washing down the drain. You wished it could take your memories with it as you let the water pound into your back. It was a little hot for you to comfortably stand under, but the searing skin at least proved to be some sort of distraction from the images repeatedly flashing in your mind.

Stepping out of the shower, you examined your body once again checking for bruises. “They only found your DNA, ___.” You repeat to yourself over and over. Why couldn’t you have stayed conscious long enough to know Jaehyun had removed you from the club and took you somewhere safe? You were beating yourself up over something that wasn’t your fault, yet you found that you couldn’t help it. Your eyes had begun to burn from the ceaseless tears. A feeling of helplessness was suddenly consuming you and you sank down to the floor, resting your head against the cabinet.

Moving didn’t seem like an option anymore and you hoped Sooyeon wouldn’t try to find you. You slowly lowered your head, resting it on the clothes you prepared to change into. Eyelids growing heavy, you allowed yourself to close them, seeking some sort of relief from the pain.

You awoke to a knock on your door. “___, are you home? I never saw you walk in.”   
“Yes. I just wanted an early night.” You yelled back quickly. She couldn’t see you like this, broken and defeated. Seeing you like this would overwhelm her with guilt. You didn’t want her to feel responsible for that night. You were safe and that’s all that matters.

Why couldn’t you be as nice to yourself as you are your roommate?   
“Okay well if you need anything, let me know please.”

You took that as your cue to get up and get dressed and make your way to bed. You hoped this feeling would pass as soon as you fell back asleep.

~~~

The rest of the week passed by relatively quickly with only a few moments of fear from the weekend slipping in. Each day was getting easier. Friday night came around and you were surprised to find Sooyeon in the kitchen when you got home from work.

“Okay, so the club is a no go for quite a bit. So instead, I’m making my infamous cookies and I managed to move the TV into my studio.” She turned to you. “By myself might I add. Unfortunately, I can’t stop working on this painting because I’m behind for my personal collection, but you can hang out with me. I know you just love the smell of paint.” She handed you one of the beaters from the mixer while she kept one for herself. 

You smiled. You loved her cookies. It had been a while since she made them, but the memories of the two of you finishing the batch in one sitting flooded your mind.

“Do you still have our old bean bags in there?” When the two of you had a significantly smaller apartment and next to no furniture, bean bags worked as a suitable replacement. Once moving in here, you decided that, as adults, you should probably own actual furniture. With the two of you both being extremely sentimental, the bean bags got moved into her studio for when you would keep Sooyeon company. You hadn’t had the amount of free time you used to and you also found it was significantly less interesting watching her work on commissioned pieces. You felt like you were watching your roommate dilute her creativity for the sake of some old rich couple who wanted a painting of their dog.

“I’ll have my beanbag until I die.” She laughed. “Hey, when’s your date?”   


“Tomorrow night.” You hopped up onto the counter and watched as she put the dough in little circles on the pan.

“And what’s the plan?”   


“He hasn’t said.”   


She looked at you. “How are you supposed to know what to wear.”   


“I don’t know…” Honestly, you hadn’t thought that far.   


Sooyeon gave an exaggerated sigh before putting her hand on her hip. “Well ask him. And don’t give me some excuse like  _ the guy should text first _ . You are an adult. Ask him what to wear.”

You pulled out your phone, rolling your eyes and sent Jaehyun a quick message asking his plans so you could plan accordingly.

The two of you made your way into Sooyeon’s studio while you took a seat on your old, ragged bean bag chair. The color had faded drastically since you first bought it, but you didn’t mind. You settled into the worn out bag and turned to see what your roommate had selected for tonight’s entertainment. Rom coms. Of course. 

She mostly talked over most of them with mindless chatter while she covered the canvas in strokes of vibrant colors. It was so nice to be able to watch her be painting for herself again. Her unique style was always something that you found intriguing and you missed going to different galleries seeing her pieces finished and on display.

“My dear, I don’t think you’re listening to me.” Sooyeon’s hand had stopped moving and she was now turning to face you.

“I wasn’t. I’m sorry. I got a little distracted watching you.” Watching Sooyeon paint had always been a stress reliever for you. It helped you to zone out and focus on nothing while she made a masterpiece before your eyes.

She waved her hand at you. “Stop, you’re making me blush.” Your roommate turned back to her painting before speaking again. “Anyway. 

Did you ever hear from that guy.”   


You were so caught up in watching the painting come to life that you hadn’t even checked. After finding no messages on your phone, you became increasingly nervous It had been a few hours since you sent the message and you noticed just how late it had become. You tried not to become irrational but you couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed.

“No. Nothing yet.” You stood up from the bean bag chair. “It’s getting late though so I’m probably going to go to bed.”   


Sooyeon looked at the clock behind you. “It’s 2 AM! Yes, please go to bed. I have to stay up since I’m actually making progress but go get some rest. It’s been a long week for you.”

You nodded, grabbing one last cookie before heading to your room.

~~~

You woke up the next morning to a buzzing from your nightstand. You found Jaehyun’s name on the phone and opened it a little faster than you would like to admit.

 

**Jaehyun:** _ Sorry I didn’t answer last night. Got caught up in a work project. Just wear something casual. I’ll see you at seven. _

 

You chose not to answer and forced yourself out of bed, wandering into Sooyeon’s studio to see the progress she had made. The door remained cracked and you were able to see the painting as soon as you walked in. It was stunning. The artist laid asleep, curled up on your old bean bags. You noticed that it was almost noon, you decided to make your way into the kitchen and try and cook lunch for the two of you.

After making Sooyeon a plate and waking her up in her studio, you made your way into the living room. You were relieved to finally hear from Jaehyun and also a little excited to hear that you would be able to wear jeans and a sweater.

You didn’t mind extravagant dates, but the pressure that comes with them for a first date can be overwhelming. You always had the irrational fear that you would do something embarrassing and ruin the night. Maybe this all stemmed from the fact that you’ve had plenty of first and second dates over the years, but nothing seemed to progress father than that.

Time passed quickly and you started getting ready. Shooting Jaehyun a quick message to remind him of your apartment, you made your way to your room. You waited somewhat patiently for him to arrive and cursed yourself for being ready so early. Nerves were starting to build and once you heard the knock on the door, you felt as if you might explode.

“Answer the door or I will!” Sooyeon shouts from her space in the apartment, willing you to get up.

You opened the door and he smiled warmly. He was dressed in a simple white sweater and dark jeans. It was enough to send your heart to your throat. Despite your nerves, the comfort of being around Jaehyun put you at some sort of ease. You remembered last Saturday morning and how comfortable you felt with him despite the circumstance.

“Hey.” You opened the door allowing him to come in. “Let me go grab my stuff. You’re allowed to venture into the living room but know that my roommate may interrogate you and then we’ll never leave.”

He gave a small laugh. “I’ll wait here then.”   
You returned to find him rocking back and forth on his feet, staring at one of Sooyeon’s paintings in the hallway.

“That was my roommate’s birthday present to me. She managed to keep it a secret the entire time she was painting it.” A smile graced your face as you remembered opening it. “I’m not biased but it’s one of my favorite pieces of hers.” You bragged. It was a simple, abstract piece with simple shapes involving your favorite colors. However, the set up of the various rectangles made it look similar to a news set, giving it yet another personal touch. 

“She’s very talented.” He smiled at you before putting his hands in his pockets and slightly rocking again. “So, I don’t have anything to crazy planned, but once a month a bunch of food trucks line up on this one street. I figured we could go to that and walk around a little bit.” His tone was nervous and you found it incredibly endearing.

“Sounds good to me.” You opened the door, leading him out of your apartment.

“I know it isn’t the nicest first date but I figured maybe if this went well then I would have plenty of time to spoil you.” He looked at you quickly. “I hope that wasn’t too forward. I’m sorry.” This was a complete 180 from the man who made you breakfast and took you home a week ago.

You laughed, hoping to ease the mood. “No. I think it’s sweet. Besides, I prefer this to something fancy anyway.”   
He smiled at you before leading you to his car and opening the door for you. Once he got in, he spoke again. “I watched the news this week.”   


“Wow. Mr. I Know Everything watched the news. I’m shocked. Which station did you watch.” The nervous air was quickly disappearing as you slipped in the light banter.   


“Well, I was planning to watch a different one every night until I found the one you were on. Lucky for me, I got it first try.” 

You ignored your heart for what felt like the twentieth time already tonight.   


“I’m honored.”   


“You’re very good at what you do by the way. Some reporters can either be too dry or too over the top. I thought you were very professional and delivered the news in an interesting way.”   


“Thank you.” You really did appreciate his compliment. It felt nice to receive approval like that from someone not in the industry. “I feel like that’s high praise coming from someone who hates the news.”

He laughed. “I never said I hated the news, just that I don’t watch it.”   


“Ah, but you watch it now.”   


“Only to see you.”   


You suddenly found yourself wishing for the nervous Jaehyun to return if just to give your heart a break. Your cheeks were definitely becoming red and your heart was consistently racing. 

He pulled up to a curb and you looked to see at least 15 food trucks lined on both sides of the road. You always loved street food, but you had a feeling you were in for something better than your regular truck a block down from the station.

“So. I definitely already have my favorites, but I don’t want to taint your experience. If you see one you want to go to, we’ll go.”

“Is it the same trucks every time?” There were so many. How could you figure out where to start?   


“Yes. Well, mostly. It took me a few months to visit all of them but now that I have, I definitely have the ones I prefer.”

“I’m a little overwhelmed.” You admitted. Where were you supposed to even start?   


“Okay, I’ll lay out some ground rules and then we can go from there. How does that sound?”   


“You’re taking this very seriously.” You laugh and wait for him to explain.

“It’s a serious matter, ___.” 

You found yourself laughing again and he smiled at you. His dimples were cute. You resisted the urge to poke them, not wanting to make it weird literally 30 minutes into the date.

“We’ll do one lap around and you can look at all the menus. Keep a list in your phone of trucks that sound good so you remember. Order something small and we’ll split it so we can go to as many trucks as possible.”   


“What if we set a goal?” You suggested.   


“Of what?”   


“Hmm. Six?”   


He smiles at you and you try to ignore your stomach doing flips. “Ambitious. I like it.” He placed your hand on your lower back, leading you to the line of food. “I don’t think we’ll make it past three or four though.”

“Don’t doubt me, Jaehyun. If we’re getting small stuff and sharing it…” You started looking over the different food trucks and realized fairly quickly that small for these people was still like a whole meal and then some. You didn’t want to admit that you got ahead of yourself so quickly.

“So, do you come here often?” It wasn’t until you heard Jaehyun laugh that you realized what you had just asked. Well, It didn’t take long for you to embarrass yourself.

“If by that you mean come every month, then yes.” His smile really was so beautiful. You tried not to look for too long for fear of what might come out of your mouth.

“Do you always drag along an unsuspecting victim?” You wanted to know just how often he brought people to this food fest. Well not just people but dates.   


“No. I’ve almost always gone alone. It’s nice to just eat food and break away from everything. Sometimes I bring a few guys though and they see how much they can eat. That’s always… interesting.” You tried not to get giddy at the fact that you were one of few to share this with him. You weren’t sure if you wanted to know what he meant by it being  _ interesting  _ with the guys. After seeing the disgusted look on his face as he seemed to be sorting through the memories, you decided not to ask for more details.   


This seemed to be some tradition Jaehyun had with himself and you almost felt as if you were intruding. “You don’t mind bringing me then?”   


“No. I don’t wanna get ahead of myself, but I wouldn’t mind if you come next month either. You have to try all the trucks eventually, ya know.” He elbowed you playfully.

How was he already making you feel so at ease? The two of you had only been together for maybe an hour, but you felt like you knew him for years. You felt comfortable with Jaehyun in a way that you can’t say you expected.

You ended up buying from three trucks and finding a table at the park nearby. It was a ridiculous amount of food and you had no idea how you were going to finish.

“How did you do this by yourself?”

“It took awhile. I was only able to eat from two places every time.” He took a bite from one of the meals you had ordered. “It’s kinda why I went alone for so long. I had a system and taking someone could set me back.”   


“Did I pick any of the ones you like?”   


“You actually picked two of my top five.” He looked at you approvingly.

“Did I get your favorite.”   
He smiled and shook his head. “My favorite one will probably surprise you. I’ll tell you when you pick it though.”

You carried on the conversation. Jaehyun explained that he now knew a lot of the food truck owners personally at this point because of how often he eats their food outside of the once a month gathering. 

When the conversation reached a lull, you thought about different things you could ask him about. You knew nothing about him except that he has an important position at Lee and he likes street food. You wanted to know more about him and work seemed like the best topic for a first date.   


“You said this morning that you were at work late last night.” You weren’t trying to interrogate him, but you were curious about his job. 

“Do you do that a lot?”   


“No. My boss is pretty cool about hours. It’s only when I have a mission that has a borderline unrealistic deadline.”   


“Mission?” That’s not the first word you would use to describe assignments but to each their own.   


“Um, yeah.” He seemed uneasy. “This is gonna sound lame.”   


“I’m sure it won’t.”

He looked at you, waiting a moment before clearing his throat. “When me and the rest of the team get assigned something that’s ridiculous we call it mission impossible. So we end up calling most assignments missions because the company is so fast-paced.”

“That’s how I feel when something happens and I have 30 minutes before broadcast to get information and write a script.” Usually, you didn’t write a script because of the lack of time. Your improvisation abilities are what got you such a high position so quickly. Other reporters weren’t able to adapt as you do. “Well, still. I’m sorry you had to work so late.”   


“It’s okay. I don’t really have anything going on outside of work anyway. Tonight was the first time I’ve had plans in an embarrassing amount of time.”   


“Oh.” You weren’t sure what to say. 

He laughed. “I’m really selling myself here, aren’t I?”

“I mean, I’m pretty similar. And you were at the club last weekend.” You were trying to help him out.

His hand rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. It was for work though. I was supposed to be watching this guy to make sure he was a decent person to make a business deal with.”   


“So you followed him to the club?” Following someone to a nightclub seems like you’re begging to find something you don’t want to see. Maybe that’s the point seeing as he was in a nightclub to begin with.   


“My boss is very big on reputation. If someone’s doing something they shouldn’t, he doesn’t want to be associated with them at all.” You appreciated that such a large company was so conscious about morality. It wasn’t a characteristic you usually associated with businesses.   


“I don’t even know if you’re allowed to answer, but did you go through with the agreement?”   


“Seeing as he was the one who spiked your drink, no.”

The weight of his words now weighed heavy on your chest. That must have been how he knew your drink was tampered with.

Jaehyun must have seen the troubled look on your face because he was soon speaking again. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that the way I did.”   


“No, it’s okay. I’m just glad you happened to be watching him.”   


“Me too.” He gave you a soft smile and it comforted some of the nausea. “Looks like we’re out of food. So what’s the verdict? More or are you full?”   


“I don’t know what I was thinking when I said six.” You admitted. This definitely was more than enough food.

He laughed. “I figured. Let’s get going, yeah?”

You checked your phone to find that it had been three hours since Jaehyun picked you up. Between the mindless conversation about food and the weirdest stories you reported on, time had escaped you. Despite the small hiccup with the club conversation, this was one of the best nights you had had in a while.

“Hey. I don’t think I ever thanked you for that night.” Your voice was quiet. You didn’t possess the confidence you wished.   


“You don’t have to.”   


“I want to though. You didn’t have to do everything that you did.” He could have just dropped you off at the hospital or police station. Instead, he went the extra mile to ensure your safety despite having no clue who you were.

He shrugged. “I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I had done any less.”

You found yourself denying that the man beside you was even real. You hated the heavy tone that had fallen around you and were desperate to lighten the mood.

“You asked me about my most ridiculous stories from reporting. What about you? There had to be some weird promotions that have gone on under a company that big.”   
He laughed and he began to ramble off about a few prototypes that never made it anywhere. After explaining the purposes for each, you understood why. It was nice to hear him laughing again and the car ride home brought back the pleasant feeling you had all night. 

Jaehyun reached over the center console and reached for your hand. You tried to restrain the giddiness as you entwined your fingers with his. The schoolgirl crush feeling was a little ridiculous but you couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto your face. When you took a peek at the man next to you, you were pleased to find that his face bore a similar expression.

Jaehyun pulled up to the curb and before you could think twice you asked, “Do you want to maybe come inside for a little bit?”   
“I would actually really like that. I can’t stay for long, though. I have work early in the morning.”

You unlocked the door, making your way into the apartment. Jaehyun turned around after shutting the door before walking straight into you. The sudden proximity made your breath catch in your throat. He smelled like the beach and just like everything else about the man, it comforted you. 

“Um, hey.” You managed to choke out.

His smile seemed to light up the room. You could see his dimples from the brief amount of light in the kitchen. “Hey.”   
You placed a hand on his chest before he slid a finger under your chin, tilting your face towards him. “Can I kiss you?”

You always thought it was cliche and slightly awkward when people asked that, but with Jaehyun, it was incredibly endearing. You nodded slightly and he slowly pressed his lips to yours. 

The kiss was soft while his hand slid to the back of your neck. Your hand was gripping his sweater and carefully pulling him closer to you. Jaehyun kept the kiss gentle as he wrapped an arm around your waist. His tongue slid across your bottom lip and you granted him access, meeting his tongue with your own. Everything about the man was soft and kind, including his kisses.

You didn’t mind except for the fact that you found yourself wanting more. You deepened the kiss, moving your lips against his slightly faster than the pace he had set and you were thankful when he complied and took control again.

You broke the kiss to lead him to the living room. He took a seat on the couch before grabbing your hand and coaxing you onto his lap. You placed your knees on either side of his hips before kissing him once again. Jaehyun’s hands moved slowly up your thigh before finding your hips and slowly pulling you closer to him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and snaked your fingers through his hair.

It wasn’t long until his tongue was meeting yours once again. He nipped playfully at your lower lip until traveling down your neck. His lips stopped at the crook of your neck, and he began slowly sucking on the spot. He let out a small groan as you started slowly grinding down onto his hardening cock. 

Jaehyun’s hands moved from your hips to the pockets of your jeans and you froze when his hands gave your ass a light squeeze and pulled you closer to him. Your mind flashed to last Friday at the bar when the man grabbed you while you were slowly slipping into unconsciousness. Nausea began to overtake you and you soon felt tears begin to form and you tried to move away from the man you were sitting on top of. 

Jaehyun looked at you with concern but allowed you to remove yourself from his lap. “Are you okay? Did I do something?”

You shook your head. “I’m so sorry. I invited you in, got your hopes up, and-”

“I didn’t expect anything, I promise. Please look at me.” He placed a hand on your cheek and wiped away a tear that managed to slip from your eye. “We don’t have to do anything. I’m sorry if I moved too fast.”   


“You didn’t I just…” You couldn’t bring yourself to finish the statement. 

He seemed to understand where you were going, understanding evident in his expression. “___, it’s okay. You don’t owe me anything. Not even an explanation. I can go if you want?”   


“I don’t want you to leave like this.” You let a laugh slip in between a sob. When did you start crying so hard? “I don’t want you to think I hate you.”   


“I don’t think that.” This man couldn’t be real. All night and not a single weird quirk or annoying habit revealed itself. He was patient and understanding. He had a stable job but wasn’t a cardboard cutout molded by corporate. He was charming and funny and you felt comfortable around him. Why he was interested in you was beyond your level of understanding.

Jaehyun interrupted your thought process by grabbing a nearby blanket and wrapping it around you. He lifted his arm, encouraging you to lean into his side. “Tell me more about the runaway pigs from the nearby countryside.” His reference to one of your earlier reporting nightmares brought a small laugh out of you. You willingly complied and spent the rest of your time together exchanging more comedic stories from work. You had way more than him, but he told you it was what he expected. You found yourself drifting off in the middle of one of his stories, unable to hold your eyes open any longer. 

You woke up to Jaehyun lowering your head onto one of the couch pillows before kissing your forehead. 

“Are you leaving?” Sleepiness was laced in your voice.

He gave you a small smile, brushing your hair out of your face. “Yeah, I think so. It’s getting late and you seem pretty tired. Goodnight, ___.”   


You reached for his hand, stopping him from walking away. “Thank you, Jaehyun. For everything.”   


“Thank you for giving me a chance.” He squeezed your hand before letting go. “I’ll see you soon?”   


“If I didn’t scare you away, I would really like that.”   


“It’s going to take a lot more than that to scare me away.” He reassured you. You heard his footsteps slowly getting quieter as he walked away from where you were laying on the couch.

It wasn’t until you heard the door shut that you allowed yourself to smile and fall back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was important to set a lot of stuff up so, i hope it was still interesting!!!  
> id love to hear your thoughts so far! things are going to start getting interesting pretty quickly
> 
> tumblr: lovingyong


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> confusion surrounding jaehyun's job intensifies as you meet a few people from his work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> notice the added tags!

A hand massaged your scalp as you opened your eyes. You had been with Jaehyun for around three months now and you still got excited waking up to him on weekend mornings. You didn’t mind waking up to him on weekday mornings either, but it made it significantly harder for both of you to go to work. You looked up at him and met his gaze while he gave you a small smile, kissing your forehead. 

The morning like danced across his skin, making the honey tone glow. The sheets gathered at his waist allowed for you to thoroughly examine his bare chest and abdomen. Your fingers dragged along his collarbone, tracing small circles into the area.

“Sleep good?” You ask, your voice still quiet from your drowsiness.

“Always do with you.”

You leaned in to kiss his bare chest and hummed. “You don’t have to keep flattering me. You already got me in bed.” you teased lightly.

“Maybe so, but I’d like to keep you in it.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you found yourself blushing. You didn’t know if you hated or loved that any compliments or flirting still got you just as worked up as they did on your very first date. He had won your heart so easily and you found yourself still trying to find pieces of it to give him. You figured you wouldn’t stop until he has the entirety of it in his hands.

“Let me get up and make you breakfast, yeah?” He kissed your forehead, your nose, and then finally your lips before making his way out of the room.

Ever since your first date with the man, you had begun slowly making progress in coping with what had happened to you. Jaehyun’s care and consistent conversation about your comfort level made it easy to overcome the physical barrier with him. You had yet to have another nauseating memory during your time with him. You still avoided clubs and turned down any drinks, but you at least were at the point where you could be somewhere alcohol was served. 

You didn’t even want to think about the amount of time it would have taken for you to work through this on your own. You were incredibly thankful for the man who was now your boyfriend, and you wished you could show him without bringing up what happened.

You eventually got out of bed yourself, grabbing his shirt from the night before, and brushing your teeth before joining him in the kitchen.

You found him by the stove and wrapped your arms around him, placing a kiss between his shoulder blades. You always admired how broad his shoulders were but it was times like these that you really allowed yourself to stare at his back. You watched the muscles tense and relax with even the slightest movement. He was absolutely beautiful. There had yet to be a time when you weren’t in awe of the man and every little thing about him.

“I should make you take all your clothes home so you can only wear mine when you’re here. I love seeing you in my shirt.” Your chest warmed thinking about the small collection of clothes that have accumulated in the times you spent over at his apartment. It didn’t take long for you to receive your own toothbrush, but that item was to be expected if you were going to spend the night with him ever. You never imagined that you would become so comfortable with someone so quickly. You didn’t even know if the two of you were moving fast or not considering you hadn’t dated since high school. But, you found that you didn’t care. Everything with Jaehyun was easy and for that you were thankful.

“I think what you really love is seeing me  _ only _ in your shirt.” You saw his smirk from over his shoulder and took that as a confirmation.

He turned the stove off and turned to face you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into him. “If you want to know what I  _ really love _ it’s when you’re in nothing and you’re underneath me being my good baby girl.”

You’re convinced Jaehyun is the only person able to turn you on in a single sentence. With that sentence alone, you found yourself weak in the knees and pressing yourself to him.

Jaehyun’s lips found yours and it didn’t take long for the kiss to deepen. His hands found your hips and he lifted you onto the island behind you. His lips move to your ear, nipping it, before trailing to your neck. He finds the spot you like, right behind your ear and begins to suck lightly. 

You moan quietly before remembering your purpose for even being in here. “What about breakfast.”

There was a low growl in your ear. “It can wait.” He brushed your hair out of the way and you turned your head allowing for him to return to the spot he was working on.

You fingers weaved themselves into his hair before you heard a knock on the door. Jaehyun groaned into your neck as his grip on your hips tightened.

“Ignore it.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss you.

Another knock. “Jaehyun, it’s me. I need to talk to you.”

“Fucking hell.” Jaehyun looked towards the door. “Stay here.”

You jumped off the island and made your way to the counter in front of you. You planned on helping Jaehyun start breakfast, but after looking at the variety of ingredients, you weren’t exactly sure what he was planning on making.

You hear footsteps from the entryway making their way to the kitchen and you freeze. Looking down at your entire, you realize that Jaehyun’s shirt doesn’t even reach mid-thigh and all you have on underneath is lacy underwear. You have no idea who you’re about to be meeting but they’ll be meeting you like this.

You hear Jaehyun down the hallway. “Taeyong, I have-” That name sounds familiar...

The man named Taeyong rounded the corner. You recognized his face and the realization of who this man was stuck fear through you. He was in a simple, black suit and was incredibly handsome. You were frozen where you were standing, feeling intimidated by the man before he even spoke to you. His eyes met yours before looking over your appearance.

“A guest.” Taeyong finishes for him. “I didn’t realize.”

You looked behind him to see Jaehyun pushing his hair out of his face with an exasperated expression. “Taeyong, this is ___. ___, this is my boss, Taeyong.” 

Your eyes widen after your suspicions were confirmed, looking at Jaehyun in a panic. You were standing in front of the most important businessman in Seoul in Jaehyun’s shirt and nothing more. Of course, you were.

Taeyong gave you a bright smile. “It’s nice to meet you. Have I seen you somewhere? You look extremely familiar.”   
“I’m not sure, maybe. I’m a reporter. I’ve been to a few of your press conferences.”

His smile instantly fell. “You’re a reporter?”

You saw Jaehyun pinch the bridge of his nose. Why is that such a big deal? “Um, yes sir.”

The air suddenly grew heavy and Taeyong’s friendly presence was gone faster than he walked in. You barely said anything and somehow you managed to say something wrong.

“I heard you say you needed to talk to Jaehyun. I’ll just go to the other room.” You excused yourself and made your way to Jaehyun’s bedroom. Taeyong’s presence was beginning to wear on you. The discomfort pushed you to the safety of the unoccupied room. Unfortunately, you could still hear the two men’s conversation. You began making your way to the bed, hoping to drown out the conversation before you heard Taeyong speak. 

“Jaehyun, what are you doing?” Taeyong’s tone sounded more disappointed than anything. You found yourself walking back towards the door, curiosity overtaking you. You knew Taeyong was talking about you. You felt like ridiculous standing against the door in hopes of catching more of what they were saying.

“I’m not doing anything wrong. It’s not like she knows anything.” You assumed he was referring to the secrets he was in charge of keeping safe.

“No, you’re fucking around. You’re putting everyone at risk. You can’t just-”

Your boyfriend interrupted him. “Can’t just what, Taeyong? Have a personal life? I didn’t sell my soul to your company.”

“No. But you signed a contract.” 

“That contract didn’t tell me I can’t date. This is childish and you know it.” You could hear Jaehyun’s sigh from here. You heard footsteps, the voices becoming slightly more muffled. You assumed they were now in the living room. You resisted the urge to open the door after you found that you could still hear just fine still once Taeyong spoke again.

“This isn’t childish. It said that you wouldn’t endanger the company.” 

“And I’m not. I haven’t done or said anything. If you care so much about all your secrets, you should lower your voice. Who knows what she can hear.”

“I don’t trust her. She’s a reporter. Of all people, you’re choosing to fuck a reporter.” Ouch. You can’t help nausea growing, fueled by Taeyong’s obvious disapproval. You don’t know how much pull Taeyong has over his personal life, but this was his career. The two of you hadn’t been seeing each other long enough for him to throw his whole life away.

“I’m not  _ just _ fucking her. If you keep talking to me this way I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Jaehyun’s tone was still calm.  

“I don’t approve of this.”

“Can you pull the stick out of your ass for one second and treat me like your friend instead of your employee?” Jaehyun’s voice was beginning to rise.

Jaehyun’s small outburst caused silence to fall over the apartment. It even felt uncomfortable in the bedroom. You didn’t know that Taeyong and Jaehyun had a friendship outside of work.

“I don’t think in the entirety of our friendship, I’ve seen you date anyone.” Taeyong’s voice was much lower than before. You could just barely hear their conversation now. 

“Because I haven’t. I’ve been too committed to helping you.”

“The company could burn down and I wouldn’t care. I can rebuild it. But what I do care about is whether or not you get hurt.”

“Why didn’t you just say that to begin with instead of putting up this huge front?”

“I don’t know, Jaehyun. I don’t have a lot of people in my life that I actually care about. I feel like no one sees me as a person anymore. I don’t think I know how to properly show I care about you. Or anyone for that matter.”

“So you don’t trust her because of the risk to the company or because of the risk to me?” Jaehyun asked. You found yourself waiting for the clarification as well.

“The risk to you.”

You sat down on the bed. You felt wrong for eavesdropping into such a private moment between the two. It didn’t seem like Taeyong let down the cold exterior very often. Now, he was finally expressing actual emotion to Jaehyun. You decided to grab your phone and attempt to pay attention to anything but them.

“I’m happy, you know.” The statement redrew your attention. Your boyfriend’s confession piquing your interest again. You hated that you couldn’t just mind your own business, but any insight into Jaehyun was welcomed.

“I can tell.”

“I feel like I finally have a reason to come home at night. Before her, I had nothing but this job. I hate that you’re busy all the time because I haven’t even had you lately. It used to be me and you, man.” Your breath caught in your throat from the confession. You never imagined that you could mean so much to him already. You found yourself thinking about how you weren’t necessarily the happiest either. You let a small smile reach your face knowing that your feelings were mutual

“Maybe we can get dinner. Invite a couple of the guys. Take a break for once.” Taeyong suggested. 

“Thank god. Was starting to think that break wasn’t in your vocabulary. And when was the last time you got laid?” You could picture the smirk on Jaehyun’s face as he said it.

“Shut the fuck up.”

You heard the two of them laughing.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop working so much. I get the point. And Jaehyun?

“Yeah?”

“I’ll try to give ___ a chance.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

“I’m sorry for stopping by unexpected. I can’t really discuss what I need to seeing as you have a guest. I’ll need you to come to my office tomorrow. I have a new project.” 

You laid back on the bed once you heard the front door shut. Jaehyun opened the door shortly after, walking over to you. He climbed on the bed and laid next to you, grabbing your hand before beginning to play with your fingers.

“How much did you hear?” He asked. He didn’t sound worried, just genuinely curious.

“Would you be mad if I said all of it?”

He shook his head, giving you a small smile. “It’s not your fault he showed up here.”

“I can’t believe we got interrupted by your boss.” You covered your face in embarrassment. Of course, the first time you meet the CEO of Lee Enterprises, you’re in nothing but your panties and Jaehyun’s t-shirt.

Jaehyun pulled you closer to him before climbing on top of you. His lips found your neck and lightly worked their way up to your ear. His hand played with the hem of your shirt, knuckles grazing your hip bone. You resisted the urge to loop your finger into his sweats and pull him down onto you. You wanted to see just how much he would tease. You were still turned on from the morning despite the brief interruption.

“Well, he’s gone now.” His lips trailed across your jaw, leaving little kisses along the way. He was moving painfully slow and you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold yourself back.

His lips finally found yours, moving slowly. He clearly wasn’t in any sort of rush. His lips parted slightly, allowing for his tongue to slide over your bottom lip before your own tongue met his. 

His hands began to slowly push your shirt up while he’s fingertips grazed every inch of skin on your torso. He stopped once he had pushed the shirt over your breasts. You soon felt his fingertips brush over your nipples before giving them a light pinch. You let out a small moan from the sensation. His hands returned to the shirt once again, breaking the kiss to take it off.

“I want to finish what we started earlier.” His eyes were dark as his lips returned to yours.

You reached up, slipping one hand into his hair while you placed the other arm on his back to pull him closer.

Jaehyun smiled against your lips. “Eager are we?”

“Maybe a little.” You admit.

His lips trailed back down your neck, making his way to your now hardened nipples. He began to lightly suck on the left one while his hand began massaging the right. His other hand slipped between your thighs, pressing against your slit through your panties. You grip on his hair tightened as he continued to rub against you.

Jaehyun’s fingers left you and you whined from the loss of stimulation. “Be patient, baby girl.” He sighed as his fingers dipped to the inside of your panties. 

“Yes, sir.”

“Fuck.” You knew he liked it when you called him that, but now he’s looking at you with pure lust in his eyes and you can feel your thighs clench together. He reached down, taking your panties off and removing his sweats shortly after. You reached down to palm at his growing bulge just as his fingers began rubbing between your thighs. His thumb quickly found your clit and began rubbing while he slowly slipped a finger into you, curling it slightly.

Your grip on his cock tightens, causing him to moan and curl harder against your walls. 

“God, you’re so tight.” He sighs, leaning into your neck. He begins sucking right above your collar bones as he slips another finger into you. You gasp due to the sudden addition before arching your back as he finds the spot he was looking for. “Don’t cum yet, baby. I’m not done with you.”

He removes his fingers from inside you, bringing them to his mouth and sucking them clean. “I’ll never get over how good you taste.”

His comment brought memories forward memories of tasting him and you needed it. “Let me suck your cock.” Your sudden forwardness catching your boyfriend off guard.

He didn’t answer, just simply nodded and allowed you to roll the two of you over. He moves to sit up while you position yourself between his legs.

Your hands found the waistband of his underwear and you slid them down his thighs. The tip of his cock glistened with precum and you licked your lips before kissing the head. You pressed wet kisses down the shaft until you reached the base. Your tongue flattens against him as you lick back up the shaft and taking the head in your mouth, lightly sucking. You stay with just the head in your mouth before Jaehyun laces his hands through your hair, pushing you further down onto him.

“Don’t tease, baby.” He groaned, hand tightening around your hair.

You pressed your tongue against his shaft and began sucking harder, a bead of precum hitting your tongue. You moaned at the taste of him and he slowly began to buck his hips, pushing himself even farther into your mouth. Your hand found the rest of him as you pumped in time with your mouth.  

You relaxed your throat, allowing yourself you take him in farther as your tongue moved side to side on his cock. 

“Fuck. You’re so good. Taking my cock so well, baby girl. So pretty with your lips around me.” His hand moves to brush a stray hair out of your face.

You moaned again from the praise, knowing Jaehyun loves the added sensation.

“___, I’m going to cum if you don’t stop soon.”

You take your mouth off of him momentarily. “I want to taste you.”

“Shit. Okay” He groans and lets his head fall back against the headboard. Your mouth wraps around him once again and you allow yourself to suck harder. Jaehyun’s hand wraps to the back of your head again and he begins helping you set a pace, moving your head with the grip he has on your hair. He soon begins bucking into your mouth and you try to hold back tears from the feeling of his cock hitting the back of your throat. It isn’t long before you can feel him tense against your tongue.

“I’m gonna cum.” His voice is breathy and ragged and it drives you even more. 

You soon taste his release on your tongue and swallow around him as he moans out your name. You allow your sucking to become lighter before stopping after his climax comes to an end. He wipes a drop of his cum from the corner of your mouth with his thumb before pressing it against your tongue. 

“You’re way too fucking good at that.” He sighs before shifting down on the bed. He pulls at the backs of your thighs and you look at him. “Come here.” he licks his lips. “It’s my turn.” 

He continues to pull you forward before your legs are on either side of his face. You can feel his breath on your clit and already feel you legs begin to shake. You reach out and grab the headboard to provide yourself with some sort of stability.

His mouth finds the insides of your thighs, sucking gently before biting and moving closer and beginning the process over again. Right when you think he’s going to give you some relief, he starts on the other thigh. 

By the time the insides of your thighs are covered in hickeys, his hands move up from the back of your thighs to grab onto your ass, pulling you down until his lips find your slit. His tongue presses against your entrance as he licks up to your clit. He presses his tongue against it before lightly sucking. 

A moan escapes your lips from the pleasure and he pulls you closer to him. Jaehyun hums into you and your grip on the headboard tightens. The added stimulation almost too much for you to bear. You rest your head against it and squeeze your eyes shut. Just as the feeling was about to become overwhelming, he moves back down to begin licking into you again. You feel your legs begin to shake and you aren’t sure how much longer you’ll be able to hold yourself up. His hands move back down to your thighs, gripping them before kneading the muscles with his fingers.

“Do you want me to finish you like this, baby girl.”

You nod against the headboard. “Yes, sir.”

He laughs lightly before returning his attention to your clit. His fingers soon slip inside you and you almost scream from the pleasure. “Fuck, Jaehyun. I’m close.”

He took that as a cue to suck harder and move his fingers faster against your walls. Before long a string of moans were leaving your mouth as you came undone on his lips.

You lifted yourself from his face and laid beside him. His lips glistened from you and he moved to give you a small kiss before pulling you into his chest. 

“We never ate breakfast.” You say with a smile.

Jaehyun hummed in agreement. “No. Well I mean we kinda did. I did for sure.” His small laugh filled your ears as you pushed him playfully. He pulled you right back into his side “Do you want me to make you something?”

“No. We can have brunch later. Let’s just lay here for a bit.”

He began rubbing you back lightly, fingers dragging over your spine. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Taeyong. He doesn’t trust anyone easily. It’s not just you. Takes a very long time to earn my level of clearance in that company.”

“I just don’t know what’s so important that you have to guard it so intensely.”

He shrugged. “That’s kinda the point, baby. No one’s supposed to know anything.”

“I hate that I can’t talk to you about work.” You admitted.

“I mean we can talk about it. We do talk about it.” 

You sighed jokingly. “Not near as much as we talk about mine. Starting to make me feel like a narcissist, Jae.” You tried to keep your tone light, but the joke was maybe just a little close to reality.

“I don’t know how many times I have to remind you, yours is actually interesting. I promise my work is boring. Just production of fancy terms that mean absolutely nothing to me. All I do is plan promotions for the stuff. Wouldn’t be able to talk about it even if I was allowed to.”

You know he’s exaggerating to make you feel better, but you let it comfort you anyway. Work wasn’t the only thing to talk about. You had made it three months with minimal discussion about careers and you were fine. You  _ were _ fine with this, weren’t you?

You started debating how to spend the day in order to take your mind off the growing uneasiness. You debated staying in bed, but what would you do tonight? A Saturday night had so many possibilities. You froze.

“Jae.” You drew out the syllable, hinting that you were going to be asking for a favor.

Jaehyun smiled down at you. “What, baby?”

“You didn’t have any plans for us tonight did you?”

He hummed. “I mean not anything out of the ordinary. Why? You ditching me?”

“Actually, I just need to go to Sooyeon’s show tonight. It’s her first personal show since she started doing commissions, so I know she worked really hard. I would like if you came with me since she’ll be talking to potential buyers, but you don’t have to.” You were so thankful you remembered before it was too late. You would have never been able to look at your roommate again without feeling an overwhelming wave of guilt.

“You don’t have to explain anything.” He laughs. “We can go.”

“Okay. I’ll have to get ready at my apartment since I didn’t exactly bring anything…”

“It’s okay. We’ll leave here early.” He slowly brushed your hair out of your face and placed a kiss on your forehead.

The rest of the day was spent lounging in bed. Jaehyun did end up cooking you brunch and you ate it together in bed while attempting to binge watch some awful reality show. You were way too invested in the people despite no one having any redeeming qualities. 

With the evening quickly approaching, Jaehyun pried himself from your arms, despite many complaints from you, and began getting ready.

You heard the shower turn on and resisted the urge to join him. Showering with Jaehyun would mean a lot less time for you to get ready and time wasn’t something you were sure if you had. Still laying in bed, you mentally raked through your closet trying to figure out if you had anything to wear. You groaned, reaching over to find your phone. Maybe Sooyeon would have something to wear. The ringing sounded in her ear before her cheery voice came through the receiver.

“Hello?” The word was drawn out and delivered in a singing fashion.

You rubbed your forehead. “Hey. I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“You’re never bothering me. Let me guess. You need something to wear?”

You couldn’t hold back your small laughter. Sure, you asked to borrow clothes a lot but maybe more so than you realized. “Kinda.”

Her laugh blended with yours. “I already laid something on your bed. You can make it up to me by looking for potential suitors for me. If you see one, push them to go talk to the ever so talented artist.”

You rolled your eyes. “How have you not found someone yet?”

“They’re all boring! I need someone who can keep up with me. Count your blessings, ___. I can actually be around Jaehyun for a long period of time.”

“I’ll let him know. He’ll be so flattered.” Your eyes drifted to your boyfriend stepping out of the shower. He wrapped the towel around his waist and you watched the water reflect against his skin. After noticing you watching, Jaehyun gave you a smile before shaking his head slowly.

His voice carried from the bathroom “We don’t have time for whatever you’re thinking about, ___.”

Sooyeon screeching from the small speaker quickly reminded you of the fact that you were on the phone with her. “I swear to god, ___. If you have sex with me on the phone, I’m kicking you out.”

You started coughing, embarrassment filling you. “I wouldn’t do that, stop.” Hearing her laugh eased some of the bashfulness. “I’ll let you go. Thank you for the dress. I’ll see you tonight.”

“I’ll know if your late and I will make assumptions as to why!”

“I’m hanging up.” You rolled your eyes and made sure to end the call before putting your phone back on the nightstand.

Jaehyun stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but slacks. His hair was swept up and off to the side, revealing his entire face.

“I’m gonna have to keep a close eye on you tonight, aren’t I? Don’t want someone to try and snatch you up.” Despite trying to make it a joke, the words carried a slightly bitter tone. You were obviously aware of the looks he received from women when you were out. How could you not when you were beside one of the most handsome men you had ever seen. The only problem is that tonight’s showing will be filled with women prettier than you with more money than you. You tried to ease the already growing jealousy in your chest. 

“I’ll be at your side the whole night, anyway.” He tilted your chin up, giving you a small kiss. “Sorry for earlier. Didn’t know you were on the phone.”

You kissed him again. “No, it’s okay. It was just Sooyeon.”

“She’ll live then.” He walked over to his closet, picking a simple white button up and black tie and black blazer. You already wanted to take it off. Usually, you had way more self-control, but watching him get out of the shower with the steam all around him and the water running down between each muscle made you more on edge than normal.

“Okay, I’m ready.” He checked his watch. “With two hours to spare. Is that enough time, baby.”

You nodded. “If traffic isn’t bad.” You slipped on a pair of jeans and the two of you made your way out of the apartment.

Once at your apartment, you found the dress that Sooyeon chose for you laying on the bed. You held it up by the hanger to examine it.

Jaehyun leaned against the doorway behind you, reading the note you tossed to the side. “Figured you might need this. Don’t complain about my choice. You’ll look hot. Love you.” He turned the note around between his fingers and a smile graced his face. 

You held up the dress, examining it. It was gold with a plunging neckline and a cinched waist. There was no way it would fall below your mid-thigh. “Is this a New Year’s Eve party?”

Jaehyun laughed from behind you. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Just go get ready.”

Jaehyun talked to you while you sat in the next room over. After curling your hair and applying what you hoped was an appropriate amount of makeup, you finally slipped on the dress. It fell right above mid-thigh and the neckline draped to the waistband, revealing more than you would typically like. At least it was warm outside. 

You slipped on a pair of tan heels before making your way back out to your room.

Jaehyun looked up from his phone before raising an eyebrow. “There’s no way I’m letting you out of my sight tonight.”

“I don’t understand why she chose this dress. I know she has more modest choices.” You pulled at the hemline.

“I like it.” He smirked, looking you up and down slowly.

You rolled your eyes. “Of course you do.” You grabbed the clutch Sooyeon left before turning back to your boyfriend. “You ready to go?”

He shrugged off his jacket handing it to you. “If you wear that until we get there.” Wrapping an arm around your waist, he pulled you towards him. He kissed you before whispering in your ear. “And if you promise I can take that dress off of you when we get home.”

“Yes, sir.” You teased lightly.

He groaned, pressing kisses to your neck. “I have no problem making you late.”

You thought about his comment for a little too long before deciding against it. You didn’t want to know the comments Sooyeon would make if you walked in late with your hair and makeup disheveled. “Don’t tempt me.”

You slipped the suit jacket over your shoulders and grabbed his hand, leading him out of the apartment. The gallery is only a couple of blocks from your apartment so you agreed to walk, worried about finding parking on a Saturday night.

Upon reaching the entrance, you were able to see quite a few of the paintings before making your way inside. You nodded towards Sooyeon’s manager and silently hoped that plenty of people would be talking to her tonight. You want this to be a successful showing so that Sooyeon continued to be encouraged to paint more of what  _ she _ wanted and no longer felt so pressured to fulfill commissions she had no passion for. 

Jaehyun gripped your hand tighter, drawing your attention back to him. Taking his jacket off your shoulders, you handed back to him,

He leaned down to whisper in your ear. “If guys keep looking at you like that last one did, I may be giving this back to you.” His hand found the small of your back as you walked towards Sooyeon.

She looked stunning, as always, in an emerald green fitted suit. She turned and waved at you eagerly and you quickly noticed that there was no shirt underneath her blazer, just a series of layered necklaces across her chest. 

“___! I was so scared you were going to wear something boring instead of what I picked out.” She pulled you into a hug, kissing your cheek.  “And thank you for coming, Jaehyun. I know she probably dragged you here.”

He smiled at her. “I’ve actually always loved art, so it was my pleasure.”

“Of course you do.” She laughed lightly. Sooyeon consistently joked about Jaehyun being perfect. You hardly encouraged the joke even if you thought she was right. Everyone had their flaws. Jaehyun just had… very few.

You reached for her hand. “We won’t keep you any longer, but I love you and these pieces are amazing.”

She squeezed your hand and thanked you before turning to talk to an eager guest.

People were filing in steadily, observing the various paintings presented around the small gallery. The room fairly large and slightly resembled a warehouse with the industrial ceilings and exposed brick pillars. You were relieved to find that most of the people in the room were dressed similarly to you and Jaehyun. Overdressing for events was something that always made you uncomfortable.

You lead Jaehyun back towards the door in order to look at the work with the flow of traffic. Jaehyun gave insightful compliments to almost every painting. Once you reached the middle of the room, he stopped in front of a particular painting, studying it intently. Instead of watching the wide array of women stare at your boyfriend, you focussed your attention on him. You watched as he furrowed his brows, eyes tracing over the different brush strokes and colors. He stepped forward slightly, getting a better look. All you could do was watch with adoration in your eyes. His concentration was only broken with the sound of someone calling his name.

Confusion graced his features as he looked behind him and your gaze followed his.

“Hey, man! I thought that was you!” A tall man approached the two of you, smile warm and inviting. He was dressed in a similar suit to Jaehyun. “Never thought I’d see you at an art show.”

“It’s my girlfriend’s roommate.” He appeared uneasy as his hand found his neck, rubbing it slowly. With his other hand, he gestured towards you. “Johnny, this is my girlfriend, ___.”

“Girlfriend, huh? Who would have thought.” He gave Jaehyun a teasing smile before turning to you. “It’s nice to meet you, ___.” 

He extended his hand towards you and you accepted shaking it and returning the sentiment. You weren’t sure how to feel about the man but you hoped you appeared friendly if this was one of Jaehyun’s friends. At least he was significantly nicer than Taeyong was this morning.

“So, what do you do? Are you in modeling?”

You saw Jaehyun look down at his shoes. His actions made him look like a shy child. You cleared your throat and drew your attention back to Johnny, giving him a smile. “Oh, no. I’m a reporter, actually.”

Johnny let out a low whistle before looking at Jaehyun. “Don’t let Taeyong find that out.” He attempted to joke but it was unfortunate timing.

“He found out this morning.” Jaehyun’s discomfort was becoming more and more evident as the conversation progressed.

“Fuck. What did he say?” Johnny’s brows drew together as concern laced his words.

“Can we maybe not talk about it here?” His eyes pleading with who you assumed to be his coworker.

You jumped in. “So, you two work together?” You looked at Jaehyun to see if you did the right thing. You expected him to be angry at you for carrying on the conversation but he appeared relieved. Leaning into him, you wrapped an arm behind his back and rested your hand on the closest shoulder to you in hopes of providing him with some sort of comfort. His arm slipping around your waist helped you to release a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. The meeting apparently had both of you on edge.

“We do, yeah. He’s one of my good friends too. Been with him since he first started working at the company. Didn’t get to know him until later since he was glued to Taeyong’s side as his personal-”

“Assistant. Personal assistant.” Jaehyun interrupted. 

Johnny’s eyes widened as he looked at you and back to Jaehyun. Your stomach suddenly began to knot. Why was such a simple interaction with a coworker and supposed friend making Jaehyun so uncomfortable? Why did he interrupt Johnny so frantically?

“Yeah. Wow, look at you. Little errand boy to head of public relations. Pretty impressive.” Johnny laughed while Jaehyun stayed silent next to you.

You would ask him what his own position was in the company, but the air had become way too heavy. Continuation of the conversation just might suffocate you.

“Well, I’ll let you two get back to it. Hey, Jaehyun if you wanna get me the artist’s number, I’d owe you. She’s hot.” He hit Jaehyun’s arm playfully and you felt your boyfriend tense under your hand.

“Not a good idea, man. I’d drop it.” Jaehyun shook his head, furthering your confusion. Johnny definitely seemed like Sooyeon’s usual type.

“Yeah, of course.” The man waved to the two of you before making his way back to where he was standing before. 

The two of you finished looking at the pieces in complete silence. You kept waiting for him to talk in hopes of receiving some type of explanation to what happened. Instead, the only communication you received was a gentle squeeze to your hand when Jaehyun was ready to move to the next piece. 

When you reached the end of the collection, Jaehyun handed his jacket to you once again. You accepted it and quietly told him that you were going to say bye to Sooyeon. He nodded and waited by the door. 

Lucky enough for you, she wasn’t preoccupied when you reached her.

“Hey, babe. Leaving?” Her smile was bright, evidence of a successful night so far.

“Yes. Everything was so beautiful. I’m so proud of you.”

She reached for your hand and her smile faltered slightly before resuming its position. This smile was significantly less genuine. “Your boyfriend is staring at me right now so I’ll keep smiling, but are you okay?”

You nodded. The last thing you wanted was for her to be worrying about you on her big night. “Yeah, sorry. It’s just been a super long day and Jae isn’t feeling very good.”

“If you say so. Go home and get some rest. Thank you for coming.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You gave her a small smile before kissing her cheek and walking back to Jaehyun.

He opened the door for you and you walked down the street. The silence continued and you only felt it getting heavier. What was Jaehyun’s job? What about it made him so unwilling to talk about to you? You understood that he couldn’t tell you a lot of things, but why couldn’t he talk to you after one of his campaigns started? Johnny seemed like a  nice guy and Jaehyun was nothing but impolite. This was the first time you had ever seen him respond to anyone with anything less than kind words and genuine smiles. Granted, you didn’t know the type of relationship the two had, but Johnny said that they were pretty good friends. Such good friends that he didn’t even know Jae had a girlfriend.

You really needed to talk to him before your thoughts spiraled too far.

“Hey, what happened back there?” You asked quietly.

He shook his head. “Can we wait until we get back to your apartment? I don’t want to fight in the middle of the street.”

“Woah, who said this had to be a fight.” You weren’t mad at him. Did you misread him while talking to Johnny?

“Just wait, please.” He pleaded with you.

As soon as you reached your apartment, you walked straight to the living room to sit down and remove the heels that weren’t the least bit comfortable. Jaehyun moved to sit next to you and lifted your legs so that your feet were now resting in his lap.

As soon as he started rubbing them, you looked at him. “Being nice to me isn’t going to make me drop it.”

“I didn’t expect it to. It just looked like your feet hurt.” He murmured. He still looked so childlike with his head down and a slight pout on his lips. 

You hummed. “Sure, babe.”

His hands moved from your feet to your ankles and he pulled, making you sit close to him. “I’m sorry.”

“For?” You pressed. A blanket apology wouldn’t really do the job with this, especially since you just wanted an explanation.

He tucked a hair behind your ear. “I was extremely rude. I wasn’t really expecting you to meet two people from my work.”

“You were rude to Johnny, yes.” You acknowledged his statement. “But, even worse, you were weird with me And what was the comment about Sooyeon about?” You couldn’t shake the way you felt when Jaehyun told his friend that it wasn’t a good idea. Maybe you were biased, but you thought Sooyeon was a great person.

“Can I be honest with you?” He asked softly.

“That’s all I ever want.” You admitted.

“There’s a lot of people who want information about my company. They aren’t afraid to take whatever means necessary.”

You were confused. You were talking about tonight at the gallery. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m putting you at risk by dating you. That’s why I don’t talk about work to you. That’s why I don’t involve you in my work in any way. This includes meeting my coworkers, even if they are my friends.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “The less information you have, the less danger you’re in. If Johnny were to start seeing Sooyeon, you would both be sitting ducks. People would notice if you went missing rather quickly since you’re in the news every night. The same isn’t true for Sooyeon. She stays inside and paints all day.”

“I just don’t understand why what you do is so top secret that people are willing to commit crimes to get it. You aren’t a government agent.” You tried not to sound too blunt, but you weren’t sure it worked.

“I wish I was. Then at least I could guarantee you were safe.” His somber tone made you realize that he was being serious, but you still couldn’t process things well.

“You have to realize how ridiculous you sound right now, right? You’re in public relations, Jae.”

“I know it doesn’t make sense and I’m sorry. That’s all I can give you.”

“So much for being honest.” You were hoping for answers. Instead, you were more confused than you were at the start of the conversation.

“I’m being as honest as I can be. Please trust me on that.”

You nodded before resting your head on his shoulder. It wasn’t like you had a choice. This wasn’t a big enough deal to leave him over. You still wished he could just have a normal, easy job.

He kissed your forehead lightly. “I love you.”

“What?” You raised your head off his shoulder once more to meet his gaze. This was the first time Jaehyun had ever said those words to you. The timing wasn’t the best but that didn’t stop your heart from racing

“I love you. I mean it, ___.” His words sounded so genuine and delicate when they left his mouth.

“I love you, too.” You meant it too. Even with the mystery of the largest part of his life, you fell for him. Hard. 

He traces his thumb over your cheek. “I’m sorry I’m not good at this. I’ve honestly never dated anyone before.”

“Not even in high school or college?” You remembered the few flings you had in high school. They weren’t the best experiences, but it was something.

He shook his head. “I was too busy working to save up for college. Then I didn’t exactly finish college since I started working for Taeyong.”

“Wow. You’re making me feel special.” The comment actually did make you feel important to him but you tried to avoid overly mushy conversations. Simple compliments were enough for you.

“You are special.” He kissed you lightly. “Hey.”

You hummed in acknowledgment before kissing him again.

He broke away again. “Can I still take this dress off? I feel like I need to make a few things up to you.” He pushed the thin strap off your shoulder before kissing the spot where it previously rested.

“You could make it up to me. Plus, I guess I did promise you.” You teased.

He smirked and took that as his invitation to pick you up and carry you into your bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay! we're finally getting to the interesting stuff! i'm excited to share the next chapter because it's been my favorite one to write so far
> 
> tumblr: lovingyong


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you finally learn more about jaehyun's job. maybe too much..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm about to go on vacation next week, so I'm posting next week chapter super early!

Your heels found the ground as Jaehyun helped you out of the car. He really seemed to be going all out for your date tonight. You came home to a dress and shoes laid on your bed for the date tonight. You thought it was sweet to see him put so much effort into a date. Especially now that you’ve learned that despite the lavish living, Jaehyun was more of a minimalistic man. You always respected that about him. If you hadn’t woken up in his apartment, you would have never guessed the amount of money the man had.

Now that you were in front of a five-star restaurant in a dress you could never afford, you know that this was a side of Jaehyun he hid away until special occasions. You didn’t think six month was that big of a deal, but you recalled Jaehyun’s previous comments about wanting to spoil you. This was probably an opportunity he saw and took. 

His fingers laced between your before he led you into the extremely upscale Italian restaurant.

“Is this one of those five-course meal places?” You asked quietly, knowing he would find humor in the question.

The corner of his lips turned up slightly, revealing his dimples. “Hmm, try seven. You have room, don’t you?”

“I’ll make room. Plus, I have a feeling the servings aren’t as big as the food trucks we’ve been going to so I’m sure I’ll manage.” You liked the gesture of the nice restaurant, but you already found yourself preferring the monthly food truck event where you have tried almost every truck now. The grease covering every surface imaginable made you a lot more comfortable than the pristine white table cloths and wines that were probably worth more than you. You appreciated when he could take you to places like this, but you were glad it was a rarity

Jaehyun slipped his arm around your waist as he confirmed the reservation. “This is a little different, huh?”

“It’s nice.” It was nice. That wasn’t a lie. You couldn’t say it was the right atmosphere for the two of you though.

You felt Jaehyun laugh next to you as his grip on your waist tightened. “It is. Though I have to admit, I didn’t come here for the food. I just wanted to see you in that dress.” 

You came home to find this beautiful red dress on your bed with a note telling you to be ready by 8. “Did it live up to your expectations?” 

“It did. But now, all I want to do is go home and take it off.” He pressed a light kiss to the your temple before turning his attention in front of him.

You felt the heat creeping up your neck from his comment right as the waiter appeared to escort you to your table.

While walking towards your table, Jaehyun tensed before dropping your hand.

He mumbled quietly under his breath “Fuck.” 

“Everything okay?” Concern obvious in your voice.

“Yeah, of course. I just left my phone in the car. You know how work can be.” His hand found yours again. “But, maybe this is better so you can have all of my attention.”

You knew his job was hard on him and to see him brush this off so easily made you happy. You never wanted Jaehyun to become the type to take his job too seriously.

After finding your table, Jaehyun instantly began flipping through the menu, eyes darting over the pages before looking behind you for a beat too long.

He noticed you watching him just in time to draw his attention back to you. “Sorry, I just thought I recognized someone.”

“It’s okay.” You smiled at him tentatively. You turned to your own menu. The tension between you two was new. Even when you two first started seeing each other, it was always comfortable. The air right now was anything but that. In fact, it was borderline stifling.

You peaked your eyes about your menu in order to observe the man in front of you. Jaehyun played with the ends of his napkin and you could feel his nerves from across the table. Was it really such a bad thing that he left his phone in the car? You reached back across the table, holding his hand in yours.

After weak conversation filled the first three courses, you found yourself growing impatient. This was supposed to be a nice dinner and he couldn’t even talk to you. The waitress delivered your fourth course and you thanked her before turning your attention back to Jaehyun.

“What is going on? You’re acting weird.”

“I know. I promise I have a good explanation for it.” His eyes flicked behind you for the hundredth time that night and you felt frustration grow.

“You can’t even look at me now?”

“No, ___. I… It’s not you, okay? I just… I’m going to go to the bathroom and when I get back, we can have the dinner you deserve.” He removed the napkin from his lap and got up, kissing the top of your head before making his way to the back of the restaurant.

You hoped that he came back with a massive attitude check. You had never been mad at Jaehyun before and you didn’t want to start now, especially over something so stupid.

After your discussion about his job a few months back, you tried not to mention work. It was a major adjustment trying not to be bothered about the lack of communication about what he did with his days. You constantly had to keep your mind from wandering and going completely irrational places. It was times like these that being in the dark was a lot harder than it should be.

You stirred your pasta lazily. Jaehyun had left the table at least fifteen minutes ago. It was too late in the relationship for him to be skipping out on a date. However, his quiet, awkward demeanor and constant avoidance of eye contact throughout the night made you wonder if maybe he had left you at the restaurant. You sighed knowing you reached the irrational thinking once again. So much for a surprise dinner.

You took your phone out once again, checking the time. You were tempted to call him before your remembered him mentioning that he left his phone in the car. Perfect. With a sigh, you stood and made your way to one of the back entrances. It had become stuffy and your nerves were taking over you.

He walked in this direction to go to the bathrooms, but there was nothing but the kitchen and an exit to the back alleyway. Maybe he had the same idea as you and just needed a quick breather to clear his head. If that was the case, maybe the two of you could talk and come back inside together. You didn’t want to be alone with your thoughts right now.

Jaehyun carried such an intense level of mystery even still. His penthouse apartment was filled with expensive furniture. The walls of his closet lined with designer suits. Luxury cars filled all three of his allotted sports at the complex he lived in. You never imagined that someone in public relations could make so much money. You consistently brushed off your curiosity with a simple excuse of Lee Enterprises being an important company in order to comfort yourself. 

The most confusing thing about all of it was that it was so easy to forget how much money he had. The only reason you were able to remember was because you woke up in his extravagant apartment three times a week. Jaehyun was one of the most down to earth people you had ever been around. You knew that if you met him under any other circumstance, you would have a hard time believing he had this much money. 

You suppressed the fear that you didn’t know him as well as you’d like to think. All you wanted was to figure him out.    
You leaned against the back door in time to see a man fall to the ground. You started to run towards the man, hoping to provide any sort of aid, before seeing the cause of the injury. Slumping to the ground, you covered your mouth to muffle your scream. All you felt was fear, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you watched the blood drain from the man and onto the asphalt of the alleyway. Being caught between fight or flight, you ended up doing nothing at all while your eyes bore into the back of the man holding a pistol.

Your boyfriend lowered the gun, turning to look towards you once the door finally shut behind you. His eyes widened and he hastily placed his gun in the holster before running over to where you were now pressing yourself against the wall behind you, hoping the cold bricks would somehow tether you to reality. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” He ran his hand through his hair. “I knew this was sloppy. ___, please look at me.” 

You shook your head, tears began to puddle where your hand was still pressed to your mouth. Your boyfriend had just murdered someone with a silenced pistol that he apparently carried on him to your dinner dates. The beautiful man that you had grown to fall for over the past six months was responsible for the death of a stranger. 

You looked at him, hurt reflecting in your gaze. “I thought you were in fucking public relations.” He had only ever given you the title of his position. He had always avoided details. The extent of conversations about his job ended with him saying work was good and quickly changing the subject. Your past assumption was that he hated his job. Now you were finally realizing that it was because he wasn’t in public relations at all. 

Jaehyun was now crouched in front of you. You began frantically looking for a way to escape the corner you’ve been backed into. He hung his head, shaking it slightly. “Baby, I need you to listen to me. He didn’t deserve to live.” He reached out to touch you and you hastily moved as far away as the wall behind you would allow. His hand fell. 

You choked out a sob. “So, you get to play God now?” Your harsh whisper was filled with venom. 

He snapped in response. “That man was the leader of the underground terrorist group in Seoul. I don’t kill just to kill.” Jaehyun had never spoken to you that way.  The intensity was enough to remind you of the fear you felt when you first opened the door.

You met his gaze just to find panic. You didn’t know what to say. It had never felt like he lied to you before but now you’re realizing that he had never told the truth either. You wanted to hurt yourself for managing to fall in love with a man you so clearly knew nothing about. “What’s your real job?”

“We can talk about in the car,” he said softly. 

You shook your head, “I’ll call a cab.”

His voice became stern once again. “___, get in the car. I never intended for you to see anything, but there’s more to this than you realize.” The way he spoke made it seem like you didn’t really have a choice. You knew from experience that he could overpower you. Knowing the dangers of the man in front of you made you overly compliant to his demands. 

He shook his head and you tried to ignore the tears now streaking his cheeks.  “Just… Give me a chance to explain. Please.” His tone became gentle once more, remembering the situation the two of you were in. He buried his face in his hands. “I should have known I could never keep this bullshit up. Especially not after we ran into Johnny that one night at the art show. I’m so fucking stupid.”

You were left speechless. Jaehyun was acting sporadic and panicked, emotions flipping back and forth from desperation to anger. How the hell were you going to get out of this? 

He stood up, reaching for the phone in his back pocket. “Hey, Taeyong. I need you to send someone to clean up my mess. I sent you the location.” A pause. “Yes. I know it was stupid, but I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity when I had him where I needed him.” He shot a gaze towards you. “I did meet a little bit of a bump, but we can talk about it in the office tomorrow.” He gave a short hum in acknowledgment before hanging up and placing his phone back.  

He reached for your hand and you accepted it. You felt nothing anymore except for a pinging numbness throughout your chest. The last thing you wanted to do was get in the car with Jaehyun. You never wanted to see him again. Yet somehow, at the same time, all you wanted was for him to explain himself. You wanted everything to be okay so you could carry on with whatever you two had built. Why you still had any hope for the relationship’s future was beyond you. 

The conflict raced through your mind as you walked back into the restaurant. You stopped by your table, grabbing your stuff. Jaehyun left cash that would cover the bill and probably the waiter’s next month of rent. He was nervous, causing sloppy mistakes that he didn’t seem to care he was making.  

Jaehyun summoned the valet. You waited in the cold, wondering what you were going to do about the hole you’ve dug yourself into. You were six feet under with no idea how you were going to get out. 

The car eventually pulled up to the curb. Jaehyun opening your door before making his way to his own side. He rested his head against the steering wheel briefly before sighing and pulling away from the restaurant. 

Once he was onto the street he spoke softly. “I met Taeyong when I was 18. I had just moved to Seoul to start university. I had no idea what I wanted out of life and Taeyong seemed to have it all together. He was getting a business degree he didn’t need. He was the heir to the biggest company in Seoul.” He visibly clutched the steering wheel tighter. “I was always thankful for him and our friendship. I also just had a huge amount of respect for him as a person. He never flaunted his stable lifestyle, but I couldn’t help but be bitter and resent him for having such security. 

“One day he asked me if I was a good shot.” He laughed sadly. “I wasn’t. I was shit. He told me he would teach me. At 19 years old, I learned how to shoot a pistol and before long I became the good shot that he was looking for. He told me to drop out of school and he would hire me as his personal guard. I did it without hesitation. The pay was way more than I ever imagined for any career I had in mind. I was grateful for his kindness. 

“It wasn’t until I spent a year under the company that I really started to figure out what I had gotten myself into. Taeyong promoted me on paper as the head of public relations. In reality, I was officially the company’s assassin. I had done small jobs that were masked as protecting Taeyong. I do believe that they were a threat but they weren’t necessarily a threat to Taeyong’s safety. I don’t want any of this to make you hate him, by the way. He was honest about everything that he could be. I just didn’t always have the same level of clearance that I do now,” He cleared his throat. “He’s going to want to speak to you after tonight.”    
He took a deep breath and looked at you for any sort of response. You found your eyes stuck on the road in front of you. Looking at him meant admitting that your boyfriend was a paid hitman. You weren’t even sure you wanted to be in a relationship with him anymore. You thought watching him kill someone would definitely be a deal breaker, but listening to him talk about joining this company reminded you that he was a person and he had a reason for doing what he does. This was the most vulnerable he had been with you since you first met him. You wanted so badly to believe that he was a good person. All you wanted was to think the man you had come to love was the real Jaehyun, not the assassin part.

As if knowing what you were thinking, Jaehyun spoke again. “Most of my targets are dangerous threats from gangs. I can’t speak for the morality of the rest of the company and I won’t try to defend organized crime, but please know that I try not to kill innocent people.”   
You simply nodded. The rest of the drive was quiet. You occasionally looked over to find Jaehyun jittering or chewing on his lip, streaks still stained onto his cheek from the tears earlier. You didn’t know the cause of his nerves and that almost pushed you over the edge. It was most likely because he just got caught committing murder, but some weird twisted part of you hoped it was because he was scared of losing you. 

He pulled up to the front of your building and you found that you couldn’t move. “I don’t think I ever want to see you again.” Your tone was flat. 

He nodded. “I don’t blame you.” When your gaze met his, you found tears welling in his eyes while your own eyes began to burn. It was enough to make you think about the consequences of your words. If you got out of the car right now, you would never see him again. Memories from the past six months flashed through your brain. Every laugh, compliment, touch all replaying at once. 

Your stomach churned and before you could hold yourself back, you spoke again. “Take me to your place.” 

He looked at you, surprised. “But-” 

You interrupted him before he could get a chance to remind you of what you just said. “Jaehyun, just go before I change my mind.” You pleaded with him. You didn’t know why you were choosing to stay with him when you knew what he was capable of. But for some reason, you couldn’t just go inside your apartment and pretend he never existed. Your heart ached at the thought, and you silently cursed yourself for being so weak over a man. 

“You don’t have to stay with me.” He said as he began to drive off. “I know that my story wasn’t really an explanation”

“I’ll need to hear more about it when we get there.” You still were unsure of the reason why he was doing what he was, why he was killing people. You had questions and you intended to get answers.

~~~

You looked at your boyfriend from across the couch. You didn’t feel comfortable sitting right next to him knowing what he was capable of. He had never hurt you before, but you didn’t know the type of danger you were in now that you knew his secret. His gaze was fixed on you, eyes red from crying. 

“What do you do?” You whispered. 

“On paper, I’m on a PR team with someone named Ten. The real PR is handled by men on the other side of the company. I’m actually in charge of maintaining relationships with other, less conventional, companies in town. If someone steps out of line or does something they aren’t supposed to, I take care of it.”

“By killing them… as an assassin.” It still didn’t feel real to say out loud. 

He nodded slowly. His confirmation made your stomach churn.

“How often do you kill people?” 

“Not very often until recently. It would be once a year that I got sent out on a mission. Lately, everything has gotten out of control. Well, you know. You report on it.”

Every time you had come into work lately, something new had happened. Gang activity was at an all-time high. You never imagined that Jaehyun could be feeding into it.

“It’s like I said. I don’t kill just to kill. I’ll admit Taeyong lets a lot of things slide, but once the general public is in danger or a gang gets out of control, I’m sent to keep things in line.”

Your head was spinning trying to process everything. Adding everything from now to what he said in the car over was becoming like a puzzle that you weren’t sure had a solution. “This just doesn’t make sense to me.” 

He shook his head, looking down at his shoes. “There’s a whole other world that you don’t know about, ___. It’s Taeyong’s goal to keep it that way.”

“For what?” Your tone was slowly becoming louder, drawing Jaehyun’s eyes back to your own. 

“He knows it would be impossible to completely end crime, but he thinks he can separate it. Let it run separately. Everything was going really well, believe it or not.” His hand rubbed the back of his neck. 

Let crime run rampant as long as it stays within itself. It didn’t seem like a realistic possibility. “Do you agree with him?”   
“I didn’t use to. I thought it was all bullshit.” He laughed sadly. “He could easily just have me kill everyone. I already had so much blood on my hands, anyway.”  

“What changed your mind?” 

“Seeing how that side worked and who those people are.” He sighed and leaned back. “They’re not all bad people. Some are just trying to support themselves or their family. They don’t deserve to die just because they need to make money.”

You could see his point. Even after seeing what you saw, you found it impossible to convince yourself Jaehyun was a bad person. You had been seeing him for six months and never once had thought he was capable of killing someone. The only reason you were able to believe it was because you had witnessed it. 

“This side of things… it’s an awful place. It’s something I never wanted you to get involved in. But I need you to know that managing this isn’t something I enjoy.” 

“I think it’s going to take me a long time to understand this.” You were sure you had more questions to ask but as of right now, you were barely processing the information you had. 

“I don’t expect you to stay. Not after what you saw.” 

“I can’t leave. I don’t know why, but I can’t.” Everything with Jaehyun was natural. It always had been. There had never been a day where you weren’t happy with him. For some reason, even after finding out that Jaehyun was responsible for countless deaths, you were addicted. “Were you ever planning on telling me?”

“Eventually. I knew it wouldn’t be possible to hide it forever. I would have preferred telling you as opposed to a live demonstration.” He sighed before turning towards you. 

You mind flashed back to the night you met Jaehyun. You remembered Jaehyun saying he was watching him for work on your first date. “That man that drugged me…” 

“I killed him.” He admitted. 

You nodded. “That’s why you were watching him?” 

“Yes.”

This was all becoming way too surreal. “What did he do to have Taeyong send you?” 

“You really don’t want to know that.” His voice was shaky. 

You continued pushing. “I do.” 

“Fuck.” He sighed before putting his face in his hands, wiping at the tears that had started falling again. “He would drug girls to kidnap them and sell them.”

You sat and watched him as he let out a choked sob. The man you loved was absolutely crumbling in front of you and the sight felt like it was ripping a hole in your chest. You let the silence fall over you as his crying appeared to be ceasing. With your attention suddenly back on his words instead of the man himself, the reality of what you were getting involved it was suddenly weighing heavy on your chest. You stood up, not really knowing where to go or what to do.

“Do you want me to take you home?” He asked quietly.

Instead of walking towards the door like you should have, you moved closer to the man next to you, kneeling down in front of him. Your hand found his jaw. You moved your hand up to wipe away the remain tears. “Actually, can I stay here tonight?”

He nodded before pressing a slight kiss to your lips. The touch was gone just as fast as it came. “Let’s go to bed, okay? It’s been a long day.”

You nodded, following him to his bedroom. 

“You can sleep in the guest room if you want.”  

“Jaehyun, it’s okay. I don’t think I want to be alone right now anyway.” You pulled him towards you and your lips found his. “Let’s just act like normal, please.” 

His fingers grazed across your shoulder as his lips found your jaw. He pushed the strap of your dress off your shoulder and began helping you out of it. The kisses he pressed to your neck were slow and met with a quick press of his tongue against the skin at the end of each one, making you illicit small gasps. His touch was light and delicate as if he was scared that if he pressed just a little too hard, you would break. 

His lips now found their way to your ear. “Why didn’t you get out when I pulled up to your building?” He whispered just loud enough for you to hear. It sent a shudder through your body. You stepped out of your dress and waited for Jaehyun to move his gaze from your eyes.   
You refused to break the intense gaze as you delivered your answer. “I feel like I’m fucking insane but, I didn’t want to.” The confession came out as a small, unsure whisper. It felt weird to finally admit the truth and you think it was the first time you were even admitting it to yourself. You were afraid, yes, but you found that you were more afraid to go back to the mundane life you were living before you met him. 

Jaehyun closed the gap between the two of you once again, kissing you gently. His hands still barely moving over your skin. You pressed yourself closer to him, wanting to feel more. After everything that happened tonight, you just wanted to be with him and forget. If you pretended it never happened, maybe you could forget and things could go back to normal. You could forget with his mouth whispering dirty things into your ear.  You could forget with his hips rolling into you between the sheets.    
You began to remove his jacket slowly before unbuttoning his shirt. Your hands slid from his chest down his abs to where you began to fumble with his belt. Jaehyun let out a small gasp before grabbing your hand and breaking away from the kiss to press his lips against your knuckles instead. 

He walked to his closet, returning with sweats and a t-shirt in hand. He handed the t-shirt to you, waiting for you to put it on. “Just lay with me tonight.” His voice was barely audible. The somber tone made your heart hurt. 

You nodded and accepted the shirt, putting it on before slipping into his bed. The silk sheets felt cold against your legs. You waited patiently for Jaehyun to join you and provide you with some warmth. He finally made his way into bed next to you and immediately pulled you close to him. You pressed your face into his bare chest, taking time feel the warmth of his skin.

“I was terrified I would never see you again.” He kissed your forehead, brushing your hair out of your face. His hand nestled in your hair, gently massaging your scalp. 

“I was, too.” Saying you never wanted to see him again made you realize just how untrue those words were. It was the reason you even came home with him. “Jaehyun?” 

He hummed into your hair, pulling you closer. 

“There’s something I didn’t ask earlier.” This one question had been burning inside you since you first saw the gun. 

“What is it, baby?” 

“Have you ever enjoyed killing someone. Maybe not even enjoyed, but just felt good...” 

The hand in your hair stilled. He eventually let out a slow breath. “No.” 

You remembered what he said when trying to explain the situation. “Earlier, you said that man deserved to die.” 

“I actually think I let him off easy.” The statement was delivered as a joke, but neither of you were laughing. 

You stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue. 

“I never want to kill anyone. I know now that it just isn’t possible to arrest every single bad person in the world. I also know that every person in that world isn’t bad. But, if Taeyong knows there’s someone running something like a slave trade, I get sent to kill them. These people stay so far off the radar that the only ones who notice they’re missing are their sick fucks of employees. I know my company isn’t exactly the most morally correct but we would never do some of the things these other groups do.” 

You thought about this for a moment. It would be hard to clue the cops into every wrongdoing they knew of. They would start to question the sources of this information. The entirety of Lee Enterprises could crumble due to their own illegal activity being sniffed out. This really was the best way to do it. They were the Robin Hood of the underground scene. “Why do you stay at this job?”

“Loyalty,” He stated it as if it were obvious. “Taeyong has taken care of me when I never even ask him to. I also don’t hate working for him. I just hate my personal assignments. Before I met you, the only place I was happy was at the office.” 

“Are you happy other places now too?” 

He shook his head. “Not really. I’m really only happy when I’m with you.” 

You looked up at him, unsure if he was going to keep going. You tried to calm the flips your stomach was doing. It was hard to remember the situation you were in when you had Jaehyun this vulnerable with you, finally openly discussing his life. 

“Sometimes it’s hard not to get desensitized to it. I used to come home and break down after every kill. I felt like a monster having all of this blood on my hands. I would have to keep telling myself they deserved it. It didn’t stop me from waking up in the middle of the night thanks to nightmares that were just retelling what happened just hours prior. I was forced to remember that someone dying was my fault. Now, I think I’m more scared of the fact that after a kill, I come home to my apartment paid for with blood money, make a cup of tea, and go to sleep until morning. What does that say about me as a person? Have I lost my morality so much so that I can be so unbothered by committing murder?” 

It was a heavy question that restored a sense of humanity to the man. “It says nothing,” you reassured him. “You still care about what you’re doing. The images just don’t hold the same power they used to.” You thought about all the disasters you reported in your time with the news station. “I know this isn’t the same, but I used to cry every night after work. I was tired of reporting bad news for an hour to two hours straight. Then, of course, I would have to stay late on the scene in order to pass new information to the nightly news. This was all I did every day. Rport, hold on long enough to finish the day, then go home and break down. After a while, I just… stopped, I guess. That doesn’t mean that I don’t hate what’s happening. It just means that I expect it now.” 

He nodded. “You may regret this, y’know. Being with me.”

“I chose this, Jaehyun.” 

“Please don’t leave in the morning.” The desperation in your voice broke your heart. 

“I won’t.” 

With your confirmation, Jaehyun finally relaxed and allowed himself to drift to sleep. You laid in the silence. The scenes from the night racing through your head. You now knew what he meant about the images being haunting. All you wanted was to drift off but each time you closed your eyes, you were greeted with the image of a dead man, blood pooled beneath him and Jaehyun pointing a gun towards the lifeless figure. 

It felt like hours before you finally just let go, giving in to the sobs you had been holding back since when you first saw it. Jaehyun’s arms around you began to feel less like a security blanket and more like a cage. You shot up in bed, breaking his hold on you, and started rocking to provide yourself any sort of comfort as your chest began to tighten.

You chose to stay with him. This was something you were going to have to get used to. 

Jaehyun sat up next to you, your sudden movements pulling him from sleep. He drew you into his lap while you wrapped your arms around him. You buried your face into his neck and let him hold you while you cried. He whispered comforting words continuously, rubbing your back and holding your head while you tried to process what was happening. You tried your best not to think about the tears hitting you that weren’t yours. It wasn’t too much longer before you eventually cried yourself to sleep, allowing Jaehyun to hold you while you finally met rest. 


	5. five

You awoke to an empty bed. Chills overtook you and you notice that you had kicked off the covers at some point during the night.    
Rolling out of bed, you moved to the bathroom and brushed your teeth before making your way out to the kitchen. You were greeted by the sight of your boyfriend who was making breakfast for the two of you. You ducked your head under the arm he was using to whisk some eggs and buried your face into his chest. Neither of you had spoken thus far. You weren’t even sure of your ability to form words at the moment. 

Jaehyun wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head. “How are you feeling?” His voice provided all the comfort you were looking for.

You looked up, eyes meeting his. “I’m alright.” You returned to your previous position. You honestly wanted to go back to sleep. It didn’t come easy last night and even when you finally found rest, you just found yourself waking up every hour due to nightmares. You did your best to remain calm through the night, hoping to not wake up Jaehyun and worry him further. 

You felt him take a deep breath. “I’m gonna try and cook around you. Don’t move.”

You hummed in agreement and maintained your position while he continued whisking, his chin resting on the top of your head. You eventually kissed his jaw and moved to sit at the kitchen bar, waiting for him to finish cooking. 

He handed you a plate before moving to sit next to you. “Are you okay to come to work with me today?”

You froze. Going with Jaehyun meant once again facing the reality of your boyfriend’s career. You gave a simple nod, aware that this step had to be taken in order to even continue seeing Jaehyun. You were an outsider who had seen one of the secret inner workings of Lee Enterprises.

“I wanted to avoid this the best I could. I went in early and tried to explain the situation, especially since he had already met you,” he took a bite of food before continuing. “But, he wants to speak to you. He likes to make sure all bases are covered and he doesn’t trust me enough to do a job he feels only he can do.” 

The two of you ate in silence. Nerves were gripping your throat, leaving you unable to speak. The only other time you had met Taeyong, you were greeted by a small smile that was quickly replaced with his cold stare and emotionless speech. He didn’t want you anywhere near Jaehyun. The conversation you overheard when you left the room confirmed your suspicions. He did not want you to be a part of Jaehyun’s life. He was worried about Jaehyun’s future and security. Inviting you into his life put not only Taeyong’s company at risk but his best friend’s life as well.

“I guess I’m just scared,” you admitted. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I need you to be honest. Don’t try and cover up stuff just to keep me out of trouble. I told him everything already. He wants to make sure our stories align.”

“You told him the truth?” You expected Jaehyun to brief you on the story he had told his boss, something that made your relationship seem more innocent. However, looking back, you didn’t know what there even was for him to lie about. You felt yourself relaxing slightly now that you knew you wouldn’t have to worry about fabricating a story. 

He nodded. “I did nothing wrong except start seeing you. Even that isn’t really anything wrong. I don’t think anyone expected me to be alone forever.”

The two of you finished eating before heading to Jaehyun’s now infamous workplace. You had driven past Lee Enterprises on multiple occasions, but you had no reason to go in. There were a few times when you were asked to cover stories regarding new advancements made by the company, but Taeyong always insisted that everything be done outside. It added mystery to the company. No one knew why you required special clearance to get farther than a hundred feet into the building. The company’s PR dismissed it as fear of stolen ideas. Lee Enterprises was an innovation hub and ideas had to be protected while waiting for a patent. 

Jaehyun gave the woman at the front a subtle nod as you walked in. The woman began to open her mouth in assumed protest before Jaehyun interrupted, “CEO Lee would like to speak with her.”   
His reputation in the company had to have been strong for the woman to accept the response,mouth snapping shut and dismissing security with a wave of her hand. You walked through the doors as the guards parted. The inside was a slick, modern design with abstract art pieces and sculptures taking over the free space. You were able to spot a desk close to the entrance of the next room. The open and exposed area lead you to believe it was where the normal business handlings took place.. You wanted to take time to explore, admittedly to put off the inevitable, but Jaehyun walked straight towards the elevators.

He made his way in once the doors slid open and Jaehyun slid a card into a small slot and pressed the button for the top floor. You moved to the corner and waited quietly. Jaehyun turned and met you, pulling you into a hug and kissing your forehead. “I’m so sorry, baby. I hate this.”

“Jae, it’s okay. Don’t apologize anymore. We’ll figure it out.” You attempted to make a light joke. “It’s not like Taeyong is going to kill me.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen anyway.” He gave a gentle reassurance cupping your face with his hands before trailing one hand down your arm, grabbing your hand and leading you out of the elevator. On the left was an open area filled with desks and some cubicles. It was surprisingly welcoming. Everyone appeared to be talking and getting along. A few laughs were even able to be heard from where you were standing. You wondered what exactly was done on this level of the office. Jaehyun mentioned that he did actually do his own form of public relations, but you wondered if that was true for everyone and their coverups.

Jaehyun took your hand and lead you to the right. Your gaze fell upon a wall of glass with a simple door in the middle. Taeyong sat behind the clear wall, typing on his keyboard. 

He looked up when Jaehyun knocked. He waved the two of you in, removing his glasses and setting them on the desk. “Darken the glass, please, Jaehyun.” 

You stood in wait as Jaehyun flipped a switch and the glass became opaque. Jaehyun moved to take a seat in front of the desk. You sat, following your boyfriend’s lead.

Taeyong’s gaze hadn’t left you since you walked in. His look carried daggers and you feared one wrong move would result in one through your chest.

“Well, ___, I wish I could say it was nice to see you again, but these aren’t exactly ideal circumstances are they?”

“No, sir.” You shook your head. It wasn’t exactly nice to see him the first time either. It was hard to imagine a pleasant interaction with the man at this point. Knowing that he was Jaehyun’s best friend still didn’t quite make sense to you with the seeminngly opposite personalities.

“I need you to tell me exactly what happened last night.” If you thought his tone was cold before, it was nothing compared to the emptiness his voice now carried.

You explained the night from the second you got off work to the second you fell asleep. You hoped that you weren’t sharing more than Jaehyun had. You hadn’t discussed what he had covered with his boss. You feared that sharing the details of the conversation from the night before would expose your boyfriend to some form of punishment.

Taeyong’s eyes never left yours throughout your entire explanation and you were beginning to break under the weight of his gaze. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his desk. “It lines up.” He paused. “Were you afraid you were oversharing? Your tone lost confidence quickly once you began discussing your conversation with Jaehyun.” His attentiveness was overwhelming. He caught onto everything. Despite your attempt to maintain a steady tone, he picked up the slight falter in your voice.

“I was.” You nodded.

“But you continued anyway?”

“Jaehyun told me to be honest.”

He leaned back in his chair, eyes still not leaving your own. “Do you plan to stay with him?”

“Yes.” You did everything in your power to maintain the intense eye contact. You felt as if you were sitting prey. Any sign of weakness would end in a casualty.

“I need you to sign something for me.” He opened his desk drawer, pulling a small packet of papers out. “It’s a contract of sorts.”

“What’s it for?” You wanted to read everything stated before signing, but you weren’t sure if Taeyong would grant you that option.

“It’s just saying that even if your relationship with Jaehyun were to end, your knowledge of his job and the inner workings of this corporation are to remain secret. This technically applies to in the relationship, too. I just assumed that you wouldn’t really want to ruin his life if you’re in love with him. I doubt we’ll ever have to use it.” It was a simple contract there had to be a catch. Punishment for breaching contract couldn’t end in a lawsuit as they would have to confirm what you said. Your stomach began to turn as you realized what the implications were if there was a breach.

You spoke hesitantly, unsure if you truly wanted to confirm your suspicions. “What happens if I don’t?”

“At that point, you would be a threat to the company. I would treat you the same as all other threats. I’ll send someone to have you killed.” Even delivering such a lethal sentence, Taeyong’s tone stayed steady and clear. You were beginning to realize just what you had gotten yourself into. You gave a hard swallow before reaching for a pen. 

Jaehyun’s head shot up, looking at you and then Taeyong. Panic filled his eyes. He stood up, slamming his hands on the desk in front of you. “We never agreed to this.”

“This isn’t something up for discussion, Jaehyun.” Taeyong’s calm demeanor laid such a heavy contrast with Jaehyun’s angry one.

“Would you do the same to someone you were with? Make them sign a contract that offers up their life?” Jaehyun yelled. You silently hoped that no one outside could hear him.

“Yes.” His tone carried the flat pitch it did when he told you he would kill you for breach of contract. Taeyong was completely serious. “The actuality of what this company is being exposed would not only ruin your life but everyone else’s who works here. And what about the so-called companies we keep in line? She either agrees to it or she dies. It’s very simple.”

“Fuck this and fuck you.” Jaehyun stormed out of the secluded office, leaving you and Taeyong. 

It was almost as if a defensive layer fell from the untouchable business mogul. He rested his head in one of his hands before taking a deep breath. He looked up at you and met your gaze. His demeanor was completely different. The room now carried a mood of regret. “I hate being like this. I never wanted to be in this position. I told my father before he passed that it would be wise to leave this side to someone else, someone older.  I hate making people agree to bullshit like this. I really am sorry, ___.”

You nodded. You felt weird suddenly having sympathy for the man in front of you. He had never been kind to you but at the same time, he had never been blatantly rude either. You understood why he acted the way he did when you had first met. Even now, in a way, you understood the measures he was taking. You picked up the pen and signed the papers. You found yourself hoping that Jaehyun could find a way to forgive him.

Taeyong grabbed the contract and placed it in one of his desk drawers. “Before you leave, can I just talk to you about something?” He was much quieter than before.

“Yes.”

“I know that it’s been a lot in less than 24 hours. I never want to get an outsider involved, especially not when it comes to Jaehyun’s side of the business. I knew this would happen which is why I was pretty cold to you when we first met. I didn’t know if I could trust you. Not to be sappy, but I’m not just talking about for my company. Jaehyun is very important to me. He was honestly my first real friend. I wouldn’t be super happy if he got hurt.” You recalled the conversation you overheard during his first visit. This wasn’t the first time you were hearing such a confession from him.

“I don’t really know what to say.”

“I don’t expect you to say anything. Just know that it’s going to take a while for me to trust you. Especially since you’re a reporter. You have too many outlets to expose what this is. Jaehyun really chose to play with fire when he started seeing you.”

You nodded. 

Taeyong pushed away from his desk, standing and walking towards the door. You stood to follow. His hand rested on the handle of the door before he spoke, looking at you. “Just so you know, ___, you’re apart of this life now. I know it sucks because you didn’t technically sign up for it, but no one seeing someone like Jaehyun can be completely removed from his work life. I hope you understand that.”

“I do.” As the confirmation left your mouth, you realized you weren’t sure what being Jaehyun’s girlfriend entailed.

“Thank you for coming this morning. I appreciated talking to you.” Taeyong flipped a switch, returning the glass to its normal transparent state. “Tell your boyfriend that I’ll see him Monday. He has a new assignment.” He closed the door behind you and made his way back to his desk, resuming his work. 

You turned to the elevators expecting to see Jaehyun waiting and were instead met with an empty space. You didn’t know how far into the office space you could venture considering this was the unconventional side of the business. You stood for a second, debating on whether or not to go back into Taeyong’s office to wait. Before you turned, your attention was caught by a familiar voice.

“___! Hey! Looking for Jaehyun?” You turned to find a man that you hoped name was Johnny smiling at you. 

“Actually, yeah.”

“He’s in the bathroom. The whole office can hear him hitting things. I would maybe give him a second to cool off.”

“That would probably be best.”

He nodded towards you, still smiling. He turned to walk back towards the office space. “Come wait at my desk with me so you don’t have to stand so awkwardly. It’s painful to look at you.” He laughed before leading you to his desk. He turned and grabbed an empty chair from behind him, rolling it over to you. You sat down, grateful for something to do. For a Saturday, the office was relatively busy. Crime didn’t appear to rest.

“So, just out of curiosity, what did Jaehyun tell you his job was?”

“He told me he was apart of the PR team with this guy named Ten.”

Johnny laughed. “Yeah, that sounds like his cover. Ten enjoys being more thorough with his persona while Jaehyun just assumed the less he speaks, the less there is to watch out for.” His light tone subsided momentarily. “Sometimes you can spin a web so elaborate, you begin to forget parts.”

“Speaking from experience?”

His light tone returned with a small chuckle. “Unfortunately, yes. My job isn’t exactly as big of a deal as Jaehyun’s though so it was pretty easy to clean it up.”

“What do you do, then?” You didn’t know if it was appropriate to ask even with your new knowledge of the company. You had only met him on one other occasion and here you were, asking him to blow his cover.

“You have a lot of questions.”

You should have bit your tongue. You quickly felt uncomfortable and backtracked. “You don’t have to answer.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I oversee imports and exports. I’m head of trade on paper.”

“Okay…” You tried to think of what that actually entailed.

Before you were able to figure out for yourself, Johnny answered. “Drugs. I deal drugs.”

“Your title at least makes sense for what you do.”

“Technically, PR is a pretty creative title. I mean they are dealing with the public and the company’s reputation. It’s just in a special way.”

“So if he and Ten are a team-” You were interrupted by a response

“Ten handles close range while Jae prefers some distance. They typically attend general meetings together though for precautions.” Johnny opened his laptop and began typing. You took that as your cue to stop talking. You felt like you were toeing a very dangerous line and you weren’t sure how far would be too far. You folded your hands in your lap, playing with your own fingers. You hated feeling like you were imposing, but there wasn’t a lot that you could do without Jaehyun.

You felt a hand on your shoulder. “Let’s go. Please.” Jaehyun’s voice was raspy and barely audible. You grabbed his hand and he squeezed it gently before he led you back to the elevators. You noticed that his eyes were puffy and his cheeks red. His knuckles were busted up and bleeding.

Your ride home was once again filled with silence. You kept looking towards Jaehyun to find that his knuckles were white from his grip on the steering wheel, the flecks of blood bright against the pale skin. You were tired of feeling like you couldn’t even talk to your own boyfriend. You couldn’t change what you saw, but you just wished you could move on and at least pretend it never happened. 

You made your way into his apartment. As soon as the door closed behind you, Jaehyun was pulling you into him. He hugged you tightly as sobs escaped his lips. Tears burned in your eyes listening to him break down. You hadn’t really thought about how this was affecting him. His entire world had been revealed in the most gruesome way and now the person he cared about most was having their life threatened.

“You can leave if you want.” The whisper found your ear.

You shook your head and held him tighter. “I’m not leaving you.”

“Don’t stay because you feel like you have to.” 

You pulled away from him slightly, hands finding his cheeks. Your eyes met his. “I’m staying because I want to.” You pressed a small kiss to his lips. “I love you, Jaehyun.”

He screwed his eyes shut before resting his forehead to yours. “I hate that he made you sign that contract.”

“I’m not going to break it so it doesn’t matter.”

“I guess so.” He broke away making his way into his living room. “I think… I think I need to think everything through.”

“Do you want me to leave?” You wanted to stay with him today to show him that you really didn’t plan on leaving him. However, you would leave if he just really needed alone time. You guess it wouldn’t hurt for you to be able to decompress as well.

“I mean, not really. Not yet at least.” He sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him. You moved to sit next to him, placing yourself on the edge of the cushion. He grabbed your hand before speaking again. “I want you to move in with me.”

You weren’t sure what you should say. Everything was changing so quickly that you felt like you needed time to process. You sighed. “Jae, we’ve only been together for six months and Sooyeon really doesn’t want to live alone. That’s why I even have a roommate”

“I hate rushing into things. I really do. But now that you know what I do, what the company is, you’re not safe anymore. I can promise someone saw you enter the building today. You’ll be on people’s radars.”

“What are you trying to tell me?”

He kissed your hand lightly. “That you have to realize that every time you walk outside, you’re exposing yourself to danger.”

“And moving in with you is going to make that disappear?” You felt like moving in with Jaehyun would just make you easier to find. In fact, it might even expose him to certain dangers.

“Unfortunately, no. But I can promise you I’m a better shot than Sooyeon. At least I’d be able to protect you.” 

You felt bile in your throat. You knew he wanted to make light of the situation, but all you wanted to do was take him and run as far as you could. The thought of anyone needing to be shot in order to protect you was enough to send your mind reeling. Forget about it being too soon. How many lives were you endangering just by knowing the truth about Jaehyun?

“I don’t need to be protected.” As soon as you said it, you knew it wasn’t true. Jaehyun pulled you by the hand and led you to the door he has apparently previously kept locked. You couldn’t recall a time you had ever been to this area of the apartment. He unlocked the door, leading you in just to lock it behind him. 

Once the lights turned on, you saw a wall of various knives and silenced guns. You looked around to see heavily soundproof walls and various targets either tucked in a corner or the middle of the floor. It was a surprisingly large room considering it was an apartment. You assumed the size wasn’t too far from an actual lane of a shooting range. Knowing he was the only apartment on the floor explained how he had space for the room, but it didn’t explain why it was here. You can’t imagine this being a marketable selling point of a space. “Why is this here?”

“Lee Enterprises built this building a few years ago. Taeyong modeled this apartment with me in mind. So, I got a shooting range.”

Jaehyun walked over to the cabinet, grabbing the smallest handgun and a throwing knife before returning to you. You couldn’t help but be mesmerized as he spun the knife in his hand before pointing it to the target on the other side of the room. 

“If you can get even close to where my knife and bullet land, I’ll drop it. I’ll even send you home with a gun.” He lifted the pistol, making a shot set between the eyes with nothing but a quick glance at the target. He then threw the knife just for it to land right over the target's heart. Such perfect aim with such little effort. He attempted to hand the gun to you but you shook your head. He wasn’t even trying and you, on the other hand, had never shot a gun before. You weren’t even confident you could hit the target at all.

You felt frustration boiling up inside of you and turned away from him. You didn’t like being embarrassed. You especially didn’t like feeling as if you had to depend on someone. You got Jaehyun’s point and you tried not to be frustrated with him. Never in your life had you needed anyone for anything. You built yourself up as a reporter through connections you made while going to the prestigious school that you paid for. Everything was just suddenly feeling completely out of your control and you felt like you could scream.

“___, I never wanted to embarrass you. I know that’s what you’re thinking.” You stayed silent, waiting for him to speak again. “I’m scared of something happening to you and it being my fault.”

“It wouldn’t be your fault.” 

“It sure would feel like it.” Jaehyun was the one that went after a target carelessly. He was the one that forced you into this world. He was the reason your life was now on the line with a contract. If you wound up hurt, you could see why he would blame himself.

You felt your shoulders fall. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to move in. You can have your own room if you feel like it’s too soon. And of course I can’t make you, but I-”

“I’ll move in.”

You turned to find Jaehyun letting out a relieved sigh, leaning his head back. “Okay.”

“But I don’t want my own room. That’s weird. I basically live here anyway.”

A smile found his face for the first time in hours and a teasing tone filled his words. “Anything else, baby?”

“I want you to teach me how to shoot.”

The smile instantly fell from his face. “Why do I feel like you aren’t going to take no for an answer?”

“Because you can’t talk about how dangerous it’s going to be and then not even teach me how to defend myself.” It wasn’t possible for Jaehyun to be with you 24/7 and you didn’t want to feel like you were defenseless without him.

His hands rubbed his face and he groaned. “Alright, fine. But you don’t start carrying a gun until I say you’re ready.”

You crossed your arms. “You know I don’t take lightly to being bossed around.”

“I’m not doing this for fun, ___.”

You sighed and agreed to the compromise.

“Not today, though. You’ve had enough happen the past couple of days. Maybe it would be good for you to go home for a bit. Hang out with Sooyeon. I bet she misses you.”

“Are you kicking me out?”

“No. You could be here every second of every day and I wouldn’t mind. But I think you need some time. Maybe I do, too.”

You nodded. It was fair. You had been thinking about it earlier anyway. You walked over to him, grabbing his hand and kissing his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you more. Do you want me to drive you?”

You shook your head. “It’s okay. I’ll call a cab.”

He seemed hesitant. “Just be careful, okay?”

You recalled his reason for you moving in with him and tried to keep your confidence. 

You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and made your way to the elevator. Once in a cab, you dialed your roommates number. No answer. You took a deep breath and waited to leave a voicemail. You left a quick message saying you hoped to see her soon because you had some news to share with her. 

Of all the people who would judge you for moving in with Jaehyun so soon, she was probably last on the list. She would frequently ask when you were just going to buckle down and marry him. You’re only fear would be that work separated the two of you. Every time you had been home recently, she was locked away in her studio room working on some extravagant new piece. 

She began taking commissions for high profile clients recently and it kept her busy. It was something that she said she would never do permanently, but now she claimed she found herself enjoying it. It made her feel good to give someone a personalized piece that they would love and adore for years. You hoped that stayed true. Especially if you planned on leaving her to live by herself.

You rested your head against the window. Even still, nothing felt real. You tried to give yourself grace knowing that the shock was still very much there. You hoped that when it wore off, you would be with Jaehyun so he could at least be there for you seeing as he had already been through it himself. 

As soon as you walked into your apartment, you were thankful to hear muffled music coming from Sooyeon’s studio. You weren’t quite ready to have the moving out conversation with her. You made your way into your bedroom, instantly climbing it to bed. It didn’t take long for you to drift off, finding the first ounce of restful sleep in what felt like days.


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nightmares seem to haunt every moment you sleep leaving you to turn to the only person you can think of in hopes of making it better

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” Sooyeon’s statement drew you out of your temporary trance. The past few days were spent everywhere but the present. The scene from the alley played in loops. The only interruptions came when you slept. Even then, it was twisted polluted versions of the scene with Taeyong’s threats playing in the background.

But, she was right. It had been a while since you had seen her. You spent most of your days trying to avoid her while you figured out just how to tell her you were moving out. Coming up with a solid reason why was proving to be the hardest part. You couldn’t exactly tell your best friend that you were moving out because your boyfriend made a living off of killing people. 

You rubbed your forehead. “I know. I’m so sorry. I’ve been so busy lately.” And tired. You were absolutely exhausted. Staying up all night and working all day was beginning to take a toll on your body and your already crumbling mental state.

“Yeah, with Jaehyun.” She teased.

“Unfortunately, just work.” You corrected her, disappointment about your current situation carried through your tone. “It feels like the city is falling apart. I’m getting sent on the scene almost every day.”

She put her hands up in defense. “I know. I was just kidding. I’m not free of blame either. I’ve locked myself in my stupid studio. It’s a miracle I have any brain cells left from all the paint fumes.” Sooyeon handed you a plate before moving to sit next to you.

Now was probably the best time to talk to her about your current situation. You were both in good moods and it was the first time you had even seen each other in days. “Hey, I have something I need to tell you.”

“Good or bad.” The statement was muffled from the food she had stuffed in her mouth just seconds prior.

“Both.” 

“I’m intrigued. What is it?” She looked at you, raising her eyebrows a few time.

“Jaehyun asked me to move in with him.”

She nodded. “That didn’t take long. What did you say?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised but aren’t you worried it’s just a little too fast?” She asked. Judgment was free from her tone, but you did notice the concern.

Yes. You did think it was too fast. “No, not really. I mean I’m over there all the time anyway. I don’t know how it would be any different really.”

“Seeing him half a week is a lot different than seeing him the whole week. Nonstop.” You knew she wasn’t trying to be rude and a part of you appreciated that she wanted to know that you were sure.

You shrugged. “I know. I’m just happy.”

“And I’m happy for you, I really am. But, you’re supposed to be the rational one.”

“It’s been six months. People get married in less time than that.” Sooyeon just got a wedding invitation in the mail from a couple that dated for a month. This wasn’t the most ridiculous thing to happen in your circle of friends.

“But that’s not who you are. You need time. You need to plan. You like to sort things out. I support you if this is what you want, I’m just not used to this side of you. You’re so spontaneous now. It’s good. I’m just not used to it, I guess.”

“I just don’t want you to be upset.” You admitted. You cared about your relationship with Jaehyun, but you didn’t want to have some weird falling out with Jaehyun because of it.

“I’m the opposite of upset. You have a gorgeous man that’s insanely rich and actually cares about you. If anything, I’m jealous. If we’re being honest, I would have been mad at you if you told him no.”

You laughed. “I thought you were trying to convince me not to for a second.”

“No, I just wanted to make sure this is what you really wanted. Moving in with someone is a big step and I just wanted you to be sure you were ready to take it.”

“I honestly think I am.” You had your doubts when he first asked you, but your conversation with Sooyeon almost made you excited to move in. Despite all the questioning, this was the first time you felt sure about your decision. Jaehyun was good to you. He was kind and patient. He made you step out of your comfort zone in all the best ways. Learning about his job just meant better communication in the future. 

“He’s going to need to come over so I can give him a proper interrogation. I haven’t done that yet.” She picked up a piece of pizza shoving it into her mouth happily.

“Do I need to warn him?”

“I don’t bite, ___.” She pushed you gently before taking your plates to the sink.

“Can I be honest?”

She sighed dramatically. “Of course, you can. Who do you think I am?”

“I’m scared.” If you were going to tell anyone, you might as well tell her. You couldn’t tell her everything, but you hoped she would somewhat calm the ever-growing nerves.

“I knew the reasonable version of you was still in there somewhere!” She teased. “But seriously, ___. It’s okay. You haven’t dated, like ever. And now you have someone like Jaehyun. Just don’t get too caught up in everything and you’ll be fine.”

You already were so caught up in everything. His lifestyle was more than you ever expected and from the way Taeyong described it, it was all or nothing. You were involved whether you liked it or not.

“___. I lost you again, didn’t I?” She looked at you expectantly.

You had to get some sleep. You couldn’t even focus on a conversation with your best friend.  “I’m sorry. I just need rest I think.”

She nodded. “I honestly should, too. Let’s be responsible adults and go to bed early.”

You laughed. You knew Sooyeon had been staying up late working on new art pieces, but she was probably agreeing to an early night to be polite. Either way, you appreciated it significantly. 

You two went your separate ways to your bedrooms. The door shut quietly behind you and you climbed into bed, taking off your pair of sweats along the way. The weight of your eyelids made just climbing under the covers a ridiculously tedious task. Even with heavy exhaustion, sleep didn’t come easy. Three hours of tossing and turning passed before you found even an ounce of rest.

* * *

_ You opened your eyes and found yourself back at the overpriced restaurant. Your eyes gazed the menu. WIth no recognition of any of the food listed, you turned your attention to Jaehyun to ask for a suggestion just to find that he wasn’t there. _

_ Disappointment spread through you and you called over a waitress, asking if she had seen him. She pointed silently towards the back of the restaurant. As you got up and walked through the maze of tables, the elegant dining room faded into what appeared to be a long black hallway. The only visible light was at the exit which appeared to be miles away. Your walk slowly transformed into a run, telling yourself that you had to get to Jaehyun.  _

_ You pushed your way through the poorly lit entryway and out into the alley you had recognized from that night. Grime covered every surface. Blood was splattered over the cobblestones from the repeated victims. _

_ Jaehyun stood before you gun in hand. You knew what to expect. He would shoot the man, turn to you and beg for forgiveness. It was the same thing every night and you had grown used to it, acceptance leaving your mouth easier and easier every night. You could make it through this as long as you had him. You stood frozen as you waited for him to pull the trigger. Even after seeing it every night, you still weren’t used to the way the man’s limp body hit the ground after having his life stolen from him. Instead of the typical routine, Jaehyun turned to face you, tears pouring down his face. _

_ He lifted the gun, pointing it between your eyes. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.” _

_ The sound of the gunshot echoed through your ears before the scene around you went to black _

* * *

 

You shot up out of your bed, sweat pouring down your back. Your regular nightmares were nothing compared to the one you just had. Tears you didn’t realize you were crying dripped onto the collar of your shirt as you scurried out of bed, slipping on your previously discarded sweats. You put on the first pair of shoes you could find and left the apartment. 

Climbing into the first cab you saw, you gave the driver your desired location and slumped down into the seat. The entire ride was spent trying to focus on anything but the images flashing through your mind. The imagine of Jaehyun pointing the gun at you was enough to make you sick. Why didn’t you leave when he told you to? Why couldn’t you have just climbed out of the car when he reached your own apartment? You did this to yourself. You were too weak to walk away from something that was so obviously dangerous to you.

Before long you found yourself in front of a door. You knocked lightly, unsure of your decision. You realized how ridiculous you must look in your sweats and one of his old college t-shirts with your hair matted from the repeated tossing and turning, but you couldn’t find the energy to care. You needed to see him. A few minutes later, you knocked again, significantly harder. Just when you were about to press your knuckles back against the wood, the door opened.

“___? What are you doing here? It’s almost 3 am…” Jaehyun rubbed his eyes before reaching for your hand. His sweatpants hung low on his hips and his hair was tousled from sleep.

The image from your dream flashed to the forefront of your mind, replacing the soft image before you and you instinctively moved your hand away. Jaehyun’s brows furrowed and a frown graced his face. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m here. I-”

“Come inside.” He opened the door for you, this time without trying to touch you. Despite flinching away earlier, all you wanted was for him to hold you. You wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him closer to you. Tears brimmed your eyes as you tried to keep them from falling. When Jaehyun encased you in his arms, you couldn’t hold back anymore. Tears fell one by one onto his chest and he sighed, bringing you so close to him that you felt as if you might just melt into his skin.

The two of you stood like that for what felt like an eternity. Jaehyun rubbed your back and whispered comforting words into your ear while one hand cradled your head and held you against him. “Let’s go to bed, okay?”

“You aren’t gonna ask what’s wrong?” You broke away just enough to look up at him.

“If you want to talk about it, then we can. But I thought it might be better if you got some sleep first.” You took your face between his hands, eyes searching for something.

“I have work tomorrow.” You woke up in the middle of the night and instead of trying to go back to sleep, you woke Jaehyun up, too. This wasn’t as good of an idea as you hoped it was.

“Call in sick.” He kissed your forehead. “I will, too.”

“You can’t call in sick.” Taeyong already didn’t trust you, the last thing you wanted was to get Jaehyun in more trouble than he was already in.

“I finished my mission earlier tonight. I usually have a day off afterward, anyway.” His thumb wiped away a few stray tears from your cheek before slipping his hand in yours.

You thought about it for a second and searched through your phone, sending your boss a quick text saying you wouldn't make it in. It would be nice to spend the day away from all the hectic reporting. Every day this week was spent scrambling to put together scripts that would cover everything that had happened. You missed the days where you had to search for things to report on.

Flipping the phone to silent, you placed it on the counter behind your boyfriend and allowed him to lead you into his room. Just being in his apartment gave you so much comfort. Maybe with him next to you, the nightmares would go away completely. The thought made you want to move in tomorrow just so you could actually find rest.

You laid back onto his chest and listened to his heart beat against your cheek. “I’m still having the nightmares.” It felt childish to say. You hadn’t had recurring nightmares since you were a child.

Jaehyun threaded his fingers through your hair and kissed the top of your head gently. “I’m so sorry, baby. Are they still the same?” You knew he blamed himself for these and it was hard not to. He was the reason you saw those things, to begin with. Every time you had one of the dreams over the past week, you had tried to keep it to yourself, not wanting to upset him. Now that you were curled up in his bed with him because of them, it was hard to shy away from the fact that the plagued your mind.

“They’ve changed a little.”

“How so?” He cooed softly into your ear, peppering your ear with small kisses. 

“I’m the one you’re shooting.”

He let out a shaky breath and you felt as if your heart stilled. Everything was frozen around you. The only movement was Jaehyun’s uneven breaths against the shell of your ear. Before long his chest was moving in an unstable pattern and you knew what would be coming soon. You did everything in your power to ignore the way he pulled you closer to him and the tears now hitting your forehead. You hated seeing him cry. It had only been twice that you had witnessed him so vulnerable, but it was enough to know you never wanted to see it again, much less be the cause of it.

“___. I would never hurt you.” The raspy tone sent a dagger through your heart.

“I know.”

“Even the thought of it makes me want to hurt myself instead. Knowing you signed that contract was enough to make me lose all self-control. I was so upset I couldn’t even think about anything but keeping you safe.”

You forced yourself to look up at him, gently grabbing his chin and turning his face towards yours. His bloodshot eyes bore into your own and it took everything in your power to not let your own emotions match his. You had to remain calm for him. “Jae, it was just a dream. I don’t actually think you would hurt me.”

“I saw the way you moved your hand away when you first got here.” He whispered.

“I was tired. I had just woken up.”

“You were scared of me.”

You weren’t scared before, but you were now. The thought of upsetting Jaehyun and setting back any progress you had made since that night was scarier than any dream you had throughout the week. You were willing to say anything that would reassure him of the stability of your relationship. “Not scared enough to keep me from running to your place at three in the morning because I knew it was the only place I would feel safe.” 

He rested his head against his pillow, letting out a deep sigh that carried the weight of both of your fears and doubts. “I’m sorry. God, I’m still fucking terrified that one day you’ll wake up and decide I’m too much of a risk to be around.”

“The only place I feel safe is with you.” You admitted. Even knowing what he did for a living, it didn’t change the Jaehyun you knew and fell in love with.

“I wish you hadn’t had that dream.”

“Me too, but it’s not you.” Imagining Jaehyun like that outside of the dream was impossible.

He met your eyes once again. “It would never be me, okay?”

“I know. I trust you.”

“Those are heavy words.”

“And I mean them.” You admitted. After everything you had seen and talked about, Jaehyun was the gentlest person you ever met. He carried bugs out to his balcony instead of killing them. He always touched you and held you with the utmost care. You knew if he had a choice, he would never willingly hurt someone. He got caught up in a job he didn’t know about until it was too late. He trusted his friend blindly by agreeing to help him and he got left with a job he would never have done otherwise.

“Do you think you can sleep?”

You nodded slowly against his chest and he moved his hand slowly along your back, fingers tracing your spine and shoulder blades lulling you into sleep. With Jaehyun’s arms around you, you felt like you could sleep for days. You finally felt at ease and your eyelids were already falling closed. 

~~~

The next morning was spent in bed, talking quietly between the two of you. Jaehyun was finally able to talk about work, allowing him to express various grievances from the past week. You learned that his partner was bold and had plenty of ideas on how to handle issues that came along and the pair very rarely saw eye to eye. He liked the guy as a person but had a hard time working with him and his unorthodox conflict resolutions. For the bigger assignments, Jaehyun had mentioned that they worked alone, allowing the two to engage in their preferred styles. 

You checked the time and turned on the TV to catch the midday news. Being away was more stressful than you realized. The world kept spinning even if you weren’t there to report on it.

“Baby, no work.” He kissed your temple. “Let’s just rest today.”

“It’s not. I just wanna know what’s happening, I guess. I’m not used to not knowing what’s happening.” It was a small lie, but you would rather watch the news now than stay up late tonight catching up and lose all the sleep you finally got.

You turned your attention to your coworkers and the lettering scrolling across the bottom of the screen. A man was found dead this morning in the alleyway by a recently abandoned business complex.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jaehyun sighed, rubbing his face before reaching for his phone. “You’re going to get someone killed, Taeyong.”

You sat up and watched the screen quietly as he and Taeyong rattled back and forth. You tried to take in as much information possible from the news so you wouldn’t have to bombard Jaehyun with questions. The man was a drug dealer and the police assumed there with ties with the wandering gang they faulted for the arsons. They found a pound of what appeared to be synthetic cocaine in his jacket and another pocket carried new strains of heroin and meth. You recalled your conversation with Johnny when he mentioned that he was in charge of “trade.” Was the type of stuff he was dealing on the same caliber as this man? If so, what made what he was doing any better than the guy that was killed.

Jaehyun sighed and shut off his phone. “I’m sorry.”

“That was your assignment wasn’t it?” You weren’t stupid. He mentioned completing his additional work last night when you came home and now the first thing you see on the news was that someone was killed.

He took his hand in yours tentatively, clearly still unsure of how you were handling this. “Yeah. It was. Someone was supposed to clean up afterward and Taeyong never sent them.”

“Doesn’t that put you at risk?” 

“No. Well, at least not me personally. They’d never be able to find the weapon I used. Our arms dealer, Yuta, gives me a gun to use once and then turns around and sells it after cleaning it. They for sure know it was Lee, though. We’ve been hounding them for months.” The level of thought that went into every single thing the company did was extraordinary. No base was left uncovered and yet Taeyong dug his own hole for himself by leaving a victim in the open.

“I just don’t understand why he was just left there.”

“Taeyong said that they weren’t taking us seriously enough with the arsons. He thought that maybe if he left the guy for the police to find, they would know we were serious. He also wanted to help tip the cop off to who was involved with the increased drug activity.”

“The arsons were your company as well?” You should have guessed. Your opinion was with the majority’s in that it was the gang covering their tracks.

“Yeah. The idea was that burning the meeting places would force them to start from scratch while also giving the police a trail to follow without revealing our own involvement. This guy who goes by Winwin is in charge of it all. He burns anything he can get his hands on. So he was eager to get started when Taeyong approved his plan.”

Everyone in the company was starting to sound crazier as days went on. “This is probably more than you’re allowed to share, but why does Taeyong want them to take him seriously?”

“No, it’s okay. I owe it to you to give explanations after I dragged you into this. You remember how I said that you can’t eliminate crime but you can control it?”

You nodded and turned to face him, crossing your legs in front of him.

“They’re what we would refer to as out of control. They’re leading the synthetic drug scene. The shit is ten times worse for you than anything natural. It’s much more addictive and has worse withdrawal symptoms. The appeal is supposed to be that the effects are stronger. People are overdosing on this stuff left and right but people keep buying it. Taeyong sent us to tell them to stop and they just pushed harder. Winwin has burned down their makeshift labs over and over and they’re still going because of the money they’re making off everything.”

“Are you not scared they know it’s you?”

“No. What I’m scared of is someone else getting hurt.”

“Like Taeyong?” You knew how close they were. Despite everything that had been happening, it didn’t change the fact that you knew Jaehyun cared for him deeply.

“I would be devastated if anything happened to him, yeah, but he would be the last person that would have to face to consequences for this. His hunger for power is what’s putting us all at risk.”

“I’m sorry.” You rubbed small circles onto the back of his hand with your thumb. His skin was warmer than usual, showing just how much this was affecting him despite his efforts to remain calm.

“No, I’m sorry. I don’t need to be dumping this out on you. I need to trust that Taeyong knows what he’s doing and just leave it be.”

“You’re the one on site.” You would be frustrated if your boss just acted however he wanted with no regards to you. You couldn’t imagine how Jaehyun must feel with his best friend going behind his back.   
“But he’s the one who even tells me what to do. He’s smarter than I give him credit for. He was thrown into this position and he adapted quickly. Hell, he even made the whole thing better. His dad crossed so many lines, it’s a miracle he passed away of natural causes.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” You could tell he was upset. Nothing played out like it was supposed to and now he was forced to trust someone who was the source of all his frustration.

“It will be. Thank you, ___. You’ve given me more patience than I deserve.”

“That’s not true.”

“I’m serious. I've been selfish. Like when was the last time I took care of you?” He brought your hand to his mouth, kissing each knuckle slowly.

“What do you mean? You took care of me last night.” You came in the middle of the night and were comforted instantly.

“You know what I mean, baby.” He pulled you towards him before pressing light kisses down your throat, stopping at the base to suck gently.

You tried to ignore how affected you were already. You didn’t want him to feel obligated to do anything when he was clearly going through a lot at the moment. “Are you even in the mood right now?”

“Honestly, kind of. It would be nice to let off some steam. And I miss you.” He grabbed your chin, gently forcing you to look at him. “Let me do this.”

You nodded slightly before pressing your lips to his. Jaehyun let out a deep sigh before he laced his hand through your hair at the base of your neck and eased you onto his lap. His lips became more aggressive against your own as he gave small pulls to the hair in his hand. A small moan escaped your lips as you tried to focus completely on Jaehyun.

After everything the two of you had been through recently, you both needed this. You would have preferred better timing, but you couldn’t exactly complain when all of Jaehyun’s attention was focused on pleasing you.

Hands trailed down your sides, finding the hem of your shirt. He played with the edge before pulling it over your head, allowing his knuckles to graze your hips and ribs, leaving chills in their wake.

Breath trailed over your neck and bare chest until he began placing wet kisses above and between your breasts. His mouth made its way to your hardened nipple while his hand found the other, pinching lightly. He placed his tongue flat against it, swiping in small circles before sucking lightly. Leaving a trail of small purple and blue blooms behind, he made his way back up your neck and towards your ear. 

The current stimulation was enough to make you begin craving more of him. You nestled farther into his lap, lining yourself up against him before moving into languid circles over his growing cock. His hands found your hips, stilling you.

“I want to take my time with you. If you keep doing that, I’m not going to be able to restrain myself.” Hooded eyes met your own as you nodded slightly, unable to form words as his hand crept into your sweats and over your panties. His fingers quickly finding your slit and rubbing gently before moving to give the same attention to your clit.

“You look so beautiful, baby.” He hissed slightly as you began twisting your hips onto his hands beneath you, wanting more than the slight tease he was giving you. You pressed your chest to his, desperate to feel his skin against yours. Jaehyun inched down the bed before flipping the two of you over. Gentle fingers swept a few stray hairs from your face. 

His lips found yours once more. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You whispered before resuming the kiss. 

Leaning on one arm, he allowed his other hand to slide down your body, dipping back under the waistband of your pants. You lifted your hips, allowing Jaehyun to remove the fabric barriers. His fingers soon found your slit, collecting your wetness before dragging up to make firm circles onto your clit. You gasped from the stimulation.

“So wet already, baby. I should have done this sooner.” He slid a finger inside of you, prodding gently against your walls in search of your sweet spot. “I missed making you feel good.” 

He leaned down to press a kiss against your inner thigh and your hands instinctively wove their way into his hair as he licked a slow stripe between your thighs.

“Taste so good, angel.” He gave a small kiss to your clit before reattaching and starting a light sucking motion before he added another finger inside of you. The addition of his mouth against your clit was enough to make you feel as if you could already reach climax.

“I won’t last long if you keep doing that.” You admitted through a series of gasps.

Jaehyun peered up at you from between your legs. “Tell me what you want. I’ll do it.”

“I want you inside of me.”

He sat up, removing his own pants before leaning over you, resting his arms on either side of your head. Jaehyun slowly positioned himself back between your legs, kissing you as he pushed past your entrance. He let out a soft groan into your mouth before swiping his tongue over your bottom lip. His tongue still carried the faint taste of you and you couldn’t help but moan his name as he repeatedly thrust into you. Everything felt right again with Jaehyun’s skin pressed against your own and your mind is filled with nothing but him and the pleasure he gives you. 

Your legs wrapped around his hips in order to give him a better angle and he soon found the spot that brought stars to your vision. The continuous motion of Jaehyun’s hips against your own left you looking for something to stabilize you as you gripped onto his back, nails digging into his shoulder blades.

“Harder, Jaehyun.” You moaned as Jaehyun granted your wish, picking up the pace beginning to slam into you. A string of moans of profanities left your lips as you began to reach climax. You felt your walls tighten around him as you dragged your nails down his back, undoubtedly leaving a series of red scratches. 

“Just hold out a little longer, baby girl. I’m close.” His breath was hot on the base of your neck before he turned, biting into your shoulder. You were teetering on oversensitivity when you finally felt Jaehyun remove himself, pumping over his length until he released over your stomach and breasts. 

You dragged your finger over your stomach, collecting as much cum as you could before sliding your finger into your mouth and licking it clean.

“Holy fuck.” He groaned, watching you slide your finger out of your mouth.

“You should have given me a chance to suck your dick.”

He leaned over, kissing you before standing up at the side of the bed. “I thought about it, but I was supposed to be taking care of you this time.”

“Maybe I wanted to have your cock in my mouth.”

“What a filthy mouth you have today.” He wet a washcloth in the bathroom before making his way back to you, dragging the dampened rag over your stomach to collect the cum you didn’t clean off yourself. He spent extra time on your breasts, massaging lightly as he wiped over them. 

You wrapped a hand around his neck, pulling him down to kiss you. “As soon as your ready, it’s my turn.”

“I won’t stop you.”


	7. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after finally meeting the person jaehyun works closest with, you end up agreeing to do lee enterprises a favor neither you or your boyfriend seem comfortable with.

The door to Jaehyun’s apartment swung open, drawing your gaze to the man entering it.

“Um, Jaehyun?” Your voice echoed through the empty apartment as you hoped it would reach your boyfriend in his bathroom. Unsure of what to do, you remained in your spot on the couch, book perched on your leg.

The man put his hands up in surrender after hearing the distress in your voice. “My name’s Ten. Probably should have knocked, but the door was open.”

The familiar name echoed through your head as you stood up to go get who the unexpected man was looking for.

“Hey, who are you?” He stood leaning against the wall, waiting for your response.

“I’m Jaehyun's girlfriend.”

“Wow, Jaehyunie went outside long enough to get a girl.” He teased, shooting you a smile.

“You’re really bold considering you just strolled right into your partner’s apartment and started questioning his guest.” Even though you knew who the man was, you still were uncomfortable with his presence. You weren't sure you wanted to know why he was here visiting the man he worked closest with.

“Baby, who’s here?” Jaehyun turned the corner, shaking a towel over his head. “Oh.”

“Your girlfriend here is a firecracker. I like her.” Ten nodded towards you before strolling farther into the room. He was incredibly handsome, just like everyone else in the company. His hair was swept out of his face, allowing you to see his prominent cheekbones and perfect nose. His smile was nothing less than mischievous as he fell over one of the armchairs across from you.

“Why are you here, Ten?”

“So, I need to ask you a favor.” He slid a knife out of a sheath on his hip, turning it slowly in his fingers.

Jaehyun pat your shoulder, drawing your attention to him. “Why don’t you wait in the other room.” He gestured towards the bedroom and you stood up quietly.

“No, stay. Really. I think she may be able to help.”

Jaehyun shook his head, letting out a low whistle. “Yeah, absolutely not.”

Another knock on the door sounded and you looked at Jaehyun, confused. He rarely had visitors, much less two at the same time. He strolled over to the door, checking the small peephole before resting his head against the door and taking a deep breath. Opening the door slowly, you watched as your boyfriend forced himself to smile at his boss in the hallway. 

“Taeyong! I’m so glad you’re here.” The forced good host tone was apparent to anyone who could hear it.

Ten’s knife clattered to the floor and you looked on as his eyes grew wider, waiting for the two men to round the corner.

“I really should go.” You exclaimed, quickly standing up and gathering your things.

“I would really like it if you stayed, ___.” Taeyong reached out to stop you from exiting the room.

“Someone wanna tell me what’s happening?” Jaehyun interrupted.

Taeyong moved to sit in one of the barstools, draping his suit jacket over the back. “Ten failed his mission and almost exposed the company in the process.”

“Now, don’t you think that’s a little dramatic. It wasn’t my fault he doesn’t play for my team.” Ten’s poor attempt to defend himself was clearly not amusing Taeyong.

“Seduction is a weak tactic and I told you that. If you can’t complete a task without getting into their pants, you’re shit and I might as well replace you.”

“I can do it other ways and I have before, but I was severely misled this time. Taeil told me he had seen him at the club. Why would you go there if you weren’t gay?”

Taeyong sighed, his patience clearly running out. “I have female strip clubs, too.”

“I know that now.” Ten threw his hands up in exasperation.

“You knew it before.”

“Yeah, well, I forgot okay?”

“It doesn’t matter. You fucked up.” Taeyong turned his attention to you and Jaehyun on the couch. “Jaehyun, I need you to take over this assignment.”

“Okay. Can ___ go now, then?” He gestured towards you and you began to feel uncomfortable watching the spectacle before you.

“Actually, no.” Taeyong shook his head and you stayed in place, not wanting to cause more problems. “Like Ten said, he frequents our clubs.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Jaehyun sighed deeply. The tension in the room was growing by the second.   
“I think we could use her.” 

Your stomach fell hearing Taeyong’s words. He told you that you were a part of this world now, but you had no idea he meant in this way.

“No. Fuck no. You just fucking said seduction is a weak tactic and now you wanna throw her in with no experience?”

“It’s a weak tactic for experienced assassins. Ten shouldn’t still be crossing his fingers and hoping they’re gay while he gives a fatal lap dance.”

“I’ve killed just as many people as Jaehyun.” Ten defended himself.

“Yeah, and you make a ten times bigger mess. I honestly don’t know why I haven’t replaced you yet.” Taeyong shot back.

“Because then you know you’d have to kill me. Doesn’t matter how many people you have us kill, you can’t bear thinking about being the one to do it yourself.”

“You have a sharp mouth for someone who’s expendable.”

Ten looked as if he wanted to continue his argument but after seeing the growing fire in Taeyong’s eyes, his mouth snapped shut.

Taeyong’s attention was drawn back to you.  “___, I need an answer from you.”

“She’s not doing it,” Jaehyun answered for you

“What the fuck has gotten into you two that you think you get a say?”

“I’ll do it.” Your voice quiet, hoping he wouldn’t hear it the second you said it.

“Thank you. I need you to come to my office when you get out of work on Friday night. Jaehyun, you need to come to. This will be a partner assignment.” Taeyong turned and left the apartment, leaving silent employees behind him.

As soon as the door closed, Jaehyun turned back to you. “What the fuck was that?”

“He didn’t seem like he was going to take no for an answer.” You admitted. You wanted the conversation to be over as soon as possible.  The agreement got Taeyong out of the apartment and Jaehyun out from under his scrutiny.

“I would have figured it out. I don’t want you in this shit. You don’t work for him.” Jaehyun’s voice was raising and you tried to remind yourself it was coming from fear. The repeated mantra in your head didn’t stop you from becoming upset, tears begging to leave your eyes.

Remaining calm seemed like the best thing for both of you at the moment even though it was becoming harder as the seconds passed. “No, but you do and I have a feeling everything I do reflects on you.”

“He won’t do shit to me. Honestly, ___, I wish you would have just kept your mouth shut.” He stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Tears finally escaped your eyes and you quickly wiped them away. There was no possible win in this situation. Jaehyun was right, you should have kept your mouth shut. You have no experience with this world while he lives in it daily.

“You have no idea what you just agreed to, do you?” Ten’s voice reached your ears, reminding you of his presence.

“Don’t mock me right now. I think Jaehyun yelling at me was proof enough that I messed up.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” You snapped at him and instantly felt bad. He was trying to be nice in his own way. You could tell that Ten showed affection through humor and he had a smart mouth. This was probably his attempt at comforting you.

“That you just agreed to seduce the leader of the sex trade in Korea.”

“But I thought…” You trailed off remembering the night you saw Jaehyun kill that man and the confession about who the man responsible for drugging you really was. “I thought Jaehyun already killed him.”

Ten shook his head. “It’s taken years for us to find him. Jaehyun and I have both offed a ridiculous amount of his workers, but we finally found him about a month ago.”

“And you thought he was gay?”

“It was more so that I was hoping he was interested in whatever. He’s obviously a major pervert so seduction  _ would  _ have worked.”

“You really messed up.” You allowed a light laugh to slip past your lips. The situation you unknowingly threw yourself into was almost comedic.

“Yeah, but you did, too.” Ten leaned down and picked up the knife, pointing it at you before leaning back in his chair. “I would rather have my boss mad at me than my boyfriend.”

“He just needs to let off some steam.” You tried to reassure yourself.

“Okay, sure. Whatever you need to tell yourself.” Ten’s brutal honesty was beginning to wear at you with the state you were in, but you could use his open personality to your advantage at the moment.

“Does Jaehyun know who the guy is?”

“Probably. I know all of his assignments, so I’m sure he stays up to date with mine.” He definitely knew what you agreed to and it was probably why he was so upset.

“Did you come here to pass off the assignment?” You prodded further.

“Yeah, I figured that if I got here before Taeyong, maybe we could work together instead of me being a total fuck up.” He resumed playing with the knife, spinning it slowly in his fingers You watched the light catch the blade in various places, mesmerized by the motion of his hand. “But, like Taeyong said, I kinda revealed myself so Jaehyun would have had to do it alone anyway. I’m sorry you got dragged into this, by the way. ”

“Nothing I can do about it now.” You said, eyes still focused on the weapon in his hand. You remembered Johnny saying he liked closer range, probably the reason he relied on seduction.

“There’s really not. Taeyong takes people’s word very seriously.”

“Of course he does.” You groaned, resting your head against the back of the couch, focusing on the plain ceiling above you.

“I think I like you. You’re a bit rough around the edges. Jaehyun’s too big of a softie. He needs someone like you.”   
You looked at him in shock. It was the first time you ever really heard anyone talk about your boyfriend on a personal level.

“What? Am I not allowed to be nice?” He raised an eyebrow at you before leaning forward, resting his elbows on his lower thighs.

“No, it’s just weird I guess. Everyone I’ve met from Jaehyun’s life have been co-workers.”

“We all care about him. The company is kind of like a family. We’re all each other have, for the most part. Jaehyun’s a good guy. I still don’t even know how he got caught up in this, to begin with.”

You knew everything. How he started, why he stays. Jaehyun appeared to be very private concerning his personal life and you assumed it to be for your protection. No one he worked with seemed to know much about him and you decided to help him keep it that way. 

“I should probably get going and you should try to talk to Jaehyun.” Ten stood up, sliding the knife back into his sheath. “It was nice to meet you. Take care of him. He deserves it.”

Jaehyun’s partner left you sitting alone in the living room. Every attempt Jaehyun had made to keep you out of this world had failed and you could understand his frustration. Decision after decision leads to hurting him. You walked out into the alley, signed the contract, and now agreed to take part in killing one of the most dangerous men in Korea. The thought of it made you sick to your stomach, but you knew there was no way to get out of it.

You forced yourself to stand up and make your way into what would soon be your shared bedroom. Pushing the door open slowly, you found Jaehyun sitting on the edge of the bed with his head resting on his clasp hands. Footsteps were barely audible as you walked towards him.

Jaehyun looked up at you, eyes meeting your own. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. You’re right.” You admitted.

“Doesn’t mean I should have talked to you that way. Especially in front of Ten and Taeyong.”

“I don’t blame you for being mad. I would be more upset if you weren’t mad.”

“I’m not mad. I’m terrified. I’ve been scared since the moment you saw me in the alley and now you’re jumping into this without even knowing what you’re agreeing to.” Jaehyun sighed, dropping his head back to his hands.

“Ten told me.” You whispered, unsure of the reaction you would receive to your admittance.

“Told you what?”

“Who his target was.”

“He has absolutely no filter, does he?” Jaehyun groaned and rubbed his forehead. It was hard to imagine the two working together successfully after seeing them interact today. The two couldn’t be more opposite. Ten was loud, confrontational, and had ideas that were outlandish and benefitted himself. Jaehyun worked in quiet and chose a course of action that would lead to the least amount of hassle for everyone. 

“I think he was trying to defend you because I was upset.”

Jaehyun sighed. “I know, I just… You need to stay with me this week. We have a lot of ground to cover before Friday night.” He reached out, grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards him before encasing your hand in both of his. “You have to listen to every single thing I say.”

You nodded before stepping between his legs and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “I fucked up.”

Jaehyun snaked his arms around your waist, forcing you to step closer to him. “I hate agreeing with you when you talk like that, but kind of.” 

He patted his leg and you took a seat. His lips pressed against your cheek in the smallest kiss before he rested his head on your shoulder. 

“Did we just have our first fight?” 

“I guess we did.” He kissed your shoulder. “I’m still sorry for raising my voice at you.”

“Jae, really. I deserved it.”

“You never deserve to be talked that way. You should be respected in every situation and I’ll do my best to honor you in that.”

You shook your head. “You are unreal. There’s no way you can be this nice all the time. You have to have some flaw.”

“Baby, I kill people for a living.” He reminded you despite it being a fact that you couldn’t forget.

“That doesn’t count.” To you, it really didn’t. This wasn’t something he enjoyed doing or even chose to do.

He laughed into your shoulder. “I won’t be offended if you admit being an assassin is a flaw.”

“Okay, fine. It kinda sucks and I would change it if I could.” You admitted. “It is nice to know that I’m dating the best shot in the country though. That part of it makes me feel safe.”

“Well, this week the ‘best shot in the country’ is going to be teaching you a few things. I’ve been meaning to ever since you suggested it, but now I have a clock over my head.”

* * *

The next week was spent mostly with Jaehyun in his private shooting room after work. While your boyfriend was the epitome of kindness and a gentle demeanor, the same actions were out the window as soon as a gun was in your hands. His expression was cold and his words hard against your ear as he helped you better your stance. The nights were long and you were beyond exhausted.

By the time Wednesday rolled around, you were sitting in your boyfriend's lap as his hands soothed the growing ache in your shoulder.

“Why didn’t you tell me shooting guns would hurt?”

His thumb found a particularly tender part of the muscle and you yelped. “Sorry, baby. “ He eased his tension lightly before continuing. “I thought you knew. Besides, doesn’t matter because we’re doing knives today.”

“Why?” You had just barely gotten down properly aiming a small handgun. You thought it would be better to stick with a weapon until you had gotten decent at it.

“I’m not sending you in with a close-range plan for you to not know how to use a knife.”

“I mean you just hold it and stab.” It couldn’t be that hard. It wasn’t like with the guns. You had actually held a knife before and had an idea of what to do with it.

“These people are trained, too. It’s not as simple as holding it and stabbing. They’ll know defense tactics.” He brushed the hair to one shoulder, kissing the now exposed part of your neck.

“Why did I agree to do this?” You huffed. A week was not near enough time to be fully prepared for whatever lay ahead of you.

“I would prefer to not bring that up again.”

“You’re right, sorry.” You leaned back against Jaehyun’s chest and he wrapped his arms around your waist. Closing your eyes, you rested your head against his shoulder. You knew you had to practice but the heat radiating of Jaehyun’s body and his steady breaths next to your ear was quickly lulling you to sleep. Maybe Jaehyun wouldn’t question it and give you a break considering the rigorous training schedule you had been through so far.

Just as you were allowing yourself to give in to the idea of sleep, cold metal was suddenly pressed against the base of your neck. You tried to scramble away, but Jaehyun had moved one arm tight around your shoulders while his legs wrapped around your waist. His free hand covered your mouth, preventing any sort of cry for help.

“Listen to me, ___.” He released some of the pressure on the knife. “You need to be able to get someone into the position I have you all before they ever know you have a weapon.” He uncovered your mouth and turned your chin to face him.

“I think you could have said that without scaring the shit out of me.” You huffed, climbing out of his lap and standing to face him.   
Jaehyun pointed the knife at you. “I was trying to show you the severity of the situation. You let your guard down.”

“Of course, I did! I’m with you!” The only time you felt fully safe was when Jaehyun was around. It didn’t mean you let your guard down, it just meant you trusted him enough to not hold a knife to your throat.

“And I’ll be with you Friday. Doesn’t mean you can get too comfortable. I’m not gonna just take any shot I can if there’s a risk of hurting you. You can’t be dependent on me.”

You knew he was right but it didn’t change the fact that you wanted it to be over. Not just this mission, but Jaehyun’s involvement in it as well. Your fear was that once you saw everything that went into Jaehyun’s job, you would want him to quit right away and it just wasn’t realistic.

You sat in front of your boyfriend as he explained basic techniques and strategies for using a knife before he got around to explaining how to hide it.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think you’re going to be wearing much so we may have to get creative.”

“Doesn’t the club have a no-touch policy, anyway?”

“I wish. It would make this a lot easier for me.”

“What about me, personally?”

“You’ll have to play it off well if you do. The whole point is to get him into our private room.”   
You nodded before taking the knife from him and walking into the private training room. Jaehyun had positioned a line of dummies in the middle of the room. He propped himself against the wall behind you and waited. Unsure of what to do, you watched for some sort of cue from him.

“If we had more time, I would make you use a collapsible training knife on me, but we’re spread a little thin so instead you need to stand close to one of the dummies and practice stabbing them with as little movement as possible.” He nodded towards the dummies, prompting you to face them and begin your training.

The next two hours were spent doing nothing but practicing unsheathing the blade and ramming it into the cotton mannequin as quickly and discreetly as possible. All the while, Jaehyun commented about your form and speed, never letting any misstep go unnoticed. The intense, repetitive motion and the discouraging comments from your trainer were beginning to weigh on you as any confidence you had left your body, leaving you a shell of doubt and worry.

You rested your head upon the padded shoulder of your current stuffed victim and attempted to hold back frustrated tears that begged to make their way onto your cheek. Jaehyun’s hand found your back, rubbing soothingly before pulling you towards him. “You need to rest. I’ve obviously driven you past your breaking point.”

“I can’t do this.” You admitted. Stabbing a few lifeless forms was absolutely nothing when you knew the task that lay ahead of you.

Jaehyun’s hands cupped your voice, forcing your eyes to meet his. “You can do this and you will. We have one more day. I will not send you anywhere if I think you’re not ready.”

“I’ll never be ready.” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them. You hated being weak when he was the one that constantly had to be strong. This situation affected him just as much as you and you were upset with yourself for not considering his own feelings once again.

His hands fell from your face and he turned away from you, reaching for his phone in his back pocket. “I’m calling Taeyong.”

“Don’t. I’ll figure it out. I’ll ask to leave work early tomorrow.” The last thing you wanted was to get Jaehyun in even more trouble.

He shook his head. “I’ve entertained this for way too long, babe. You aren’t doing this. You’re not okay with it and neither am I.” He pressed the phone up to his ear, waiting for the other man to answer.

In the silence of the room, you could hear Taeyong deliver his greeting.

“She’s not doing this. I’m pulling ___ from the assignment.”


	8. eight

“Why are you here?” Taeyong asked, leaning back in his chair.

It was a weighted question. After you heard the majority of Jaehyun and Taeyong’s phone call Wednesday night, you knew the position you would be putting Jaehyun in if you really didn’t come tonight. Because of this, you left work early just to ensure that you could arrive at Taeyong’s office thirty minutes before Jaehyun.

“I didn’t want Jaehyun to lose someone important to him just to protect me.”

“You do know why he doesn’t want you going, don’t you?”

“Yes, but there’s no point in him putting everything on the line when I know he won’t let anything happen to me.”

“I hope for you and Jaehyun’s sake that you’re right.” He opened his desk drawer, placing a gun and a knife on the sleek desktop. “You are infinitely more important to him than I ever was.”

Taeyong was once Jaehyun’s best friend. He was someone that your boyfriend admired for an endless list of reasons. As you sat in front of the man, you looked for even an ounce of what Jaehyun loved. It was disappointing to find no resemblance to the Taeyong from Jaehyun’s college stories. From what you had gathered, Taeyong used to be quiet and gentle. He was always the first person to help. To think that all that had changed since he took over the company was upsetting. The obvious riff in the two’s friendship was caused by Taeyong’s sudden sheer lack of empathy.

“Why do you treat Jaehyun the way you do?” You couldn’t stop the words as they left your mouth. The frustration you felt towards the man in front of you was almost overwhelming. No amount of responsibility should turn a person so cold.

He raised his brows at you, surprised by your sudden question. “I don’t exactly have a choice. I don’t want to use him as a weapon and I certainly don’t want to make him risk the only thing he’s ever cared about.”

“You probably have more of a choice than you realize. Look at where you’re sitting, the title beside your name.” You gestured to him from your place across from him. His office resided on the top floor of one of the biggest business buildings in Seoul. He was one of two faces of Lee Enterprises and here he was saying he didn’t have a choice but to treat Jaehyun like a servant instead of a friend he respected.

“The people I control are not small, petty gangs that listen when they’re told. Most of these groups are bigger than we will ever give them credit for. I am not as powerful as anyone likes to think I am. If I was, we wouldn’t have the problems we do, would we?”

You opened your mouth to answer until you heard the door open behind you. 

“Jaehyun, just in time. I was just about to tell ___ how the room setup works.”

Jaehyun’s eyes were locked on you. “What are you doing here?”

Taeyong spoke up before you could respond, drawing your boyfriend’s attention to behind the desk. “She’s here because she told me she would do this and she’s following through. I appreciate that her word means something.”

“I told you she wasn’t doing this.” Jaehyun’s voice was steadily rising with every word.

“I didn’t call her. She came here on her own accord.” Finally, the blame couldn’t be placed on Taeyong and he seemed to be relishing in it.

Jaehyun’s gaze found you once more. The fire burning behind his eyes made eye contact unbearable. “Why? Why would you do that when I put my ass on the line so you could stay out of this?”

“That’s exactly why I did it. You shouldn’t be risking everything for me.”

“You don’t get it, do you? You  _ are _ everything to me. I don’t care what happens to me here, or anywhere for that matter, as long as I have you.” Jaehyun rubbed his forehead before sitting down next to you. He reached over, grabbing the gun and knife. The gun was placed into a holster on his hip while he handed the knife to you.

Taeyong stopped him. “Actually, Jaehyun. I need you to put the knife in an agreed-upon spot. She won’t have a place to carry it on her.”   
“So, you want her to go in completely unarmed?” Jaehyun stared at his boss blankly as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“She won’t be unarmed. She’ll know where the knife is if she needs it.”

“How do you expect her to  _ get to it _ if she needs it.”

“She just needs to get far enough away from him for you to do your job. Let me explain how this is going to work.” Taeyong waited a beat for Jaehyun to interrupt. When the man next to you stayed silent, he continued. He reached into his desk, pulling out a map of the club you assumed you would be going to. Taeyong pointed to the room that Jaehyun would be waiting for you in. He explained that certain accommodations that had been made to allow for Jaehyun to be in the room with you. After filling the two of you in on the logistics, he pulled out a bag and pushed it towards you over the desktop.

He nodded towards you. “Your uniform.”

You took a small peek into the bag, finding expensive lingerie adorned with black lace and various straps. 

“You’re going to wanna put that on here since you are going through the back exit. Doyoung’s my eyes for tonight and he’s going to help you with who to look for. Just find him when you get there.” He looked at Jaehyun who had his head hung low, busy focusing on something in his lap. “___, will you give me a second to talk to Jaehyun alone?”

You nodded, taking this as your opportunity to get changed without wasting too much time. 

When you got to the bathroom you put on the outfit with some difficulty, trying to figure out just which straps go where. You were hoping that Taeyong’s idea would be the harder to put on, the harder to take off, but maybe that was giving him too much credit.

He had also picked out a pair of heels for the night. They looked ridiculously tall and not the least bit comfortable with a 5-inch heel and simple straps that provided little to no support. You slid them on and looked at yourself in the mirror. You had to admit that you looked good, but this was definitely something you would have preferred to wear under different circumstances. 

You rested your palms on the countertop and met your own eyes in the mirror. Letting out a deep breath, you released a string of encouragements for yourself. This decision wasn’t without reason. You did this to get Jaehyun out of trouble and it worked. 

You heard a knock on the door before it opened slightly, Jaehyun sliding into the private bathroom. He took in a sharp breath once he saw what you were supposed to be wearing tonight. 

“Of course, he picked out something like that.” He shrugged off his jacket, handing it to you. You were thankful the coat hit about midthigh. “He really wants me to kill him”

“It’s not-” You started.

“Don’t even try to defend him.” He snapped at you before sighing and lowering his voice again. “Please.”

He grabbed your hand, leading you out into the main office space and back outside. Once you were in the car, he grabbed your hand. “___,  I need you to listen to me real fast.”

You turned to face him. “I know it’s serious.”

He shook his head. “That’s not what I was going to say.” His thumb rubbed gently over your hand. “Do whatever you need to do to get him into that room. I won’t see it and I don’t want to know about it. Once you get in that room, you need to find a way to distance yourself from him enough to give me a clean shot. I only need a few inches.” He pulled out the map, pointing to the area by the door. “If you’re here, I’ll be behind you. I need a lot more room because I’m not risking the shot going through and hitting you. This gun is a lot more powerful than the one I thought I was going to get. You have to at least get him to the bed. At that point, I’ll be even with you and I can make a shot as long as you’re not right next to him.”

“It’s going to be okay.” You attempted to reassure him. 

He kissed your hand before turning to start the car. “I know we’ll come out on top. I just don’t know how I’m going to do with seeing anyone touching you.”

“That’s what you’re worried about?”

“I mean that’s not the only thing, but yes, that’s one of the things. You’re all I have and I’ve never been a fan of sharing. I don’t care what it’s for. I don’t want anyone to see you the way I get to and now you’ll be walking around like that in a club full of people.”

The drive was relatively quiet except for Jaehyun’s fingers drumming against the center console. You readjusted the straps on your less than modest top frequently whether out of necessity or nerves, you didn’t know. 

When Jaehyun pulled into the back alley of what you assumed to be the club, you tried to ignore the fear gnawing in your gut. You knew that if you appeared upset, it would upset him that much more. You got out of the car while Jaehyun put in his earpiece.

He was soon behind you. “Doyoung, we’re here. Can you come to the back?” He opened the door, allowing you to walk in the club. He grabbed your arm gently. “If anything goes wrong, Doyoung will let me know and I’ll be there. I will not let anything happen to you.”

You nodded. The added reassurance was nice and it was definitely needed. You just needed to do what you had to and get out.

Not soon after Jaehyun stopped talking, a man rounded the corner. It was hard to see him in the dark light of the back hallway, but you could point out pitch black hair and strong cheekbones. He gave you a polite smile and extended his hand.

“Hi, I’m Doyoung. I usually work pretty closely with Jaehyun on his assignments as his scout. We have a few things to cover before I feed you to the wolves.” He turned to your boyfriend. “Jaehyun, you can stay if you want. If not, your room is down the hall. It’s number eight.”

“I’ll just wait. Besides. I want ___ to see the room so she’ll be familiar with it before she starts.”

“Always one step ahead.” Doyoung walked down the hallway towards the room you would be in. “Basically, I’ve shown all the girls tonight his picture and told them to avoid him. You should have no problem getting his attention if you’re the only one willing to do anything. Your knife in under the mattress on the left side. It’s the side Jaehyun isn’t on so hopefully if you reach for it, it will give Jaehyun enough room to take his shot.”

You entered the room and looked for where Jaehyun would supposedly be taking cover. There was such little furniture in the room that you couldn’t picture him being able to fully cover himself.

“We couldn’t add any major furniture. Taeil told me he’s very familiar with the rooms here. Unfortunately, since Ten let him know someone’s onto him, he’s been extra careful everywhere. I’ve been following him for a few weeks and it seems like he only lets his guard down here. We were scared it would tip him off if he sees a huge dresser in the corner for no reason.”

You began to feel uneasy. “Where is Jaehyun going to be then?”

“I’ve worked with less. Taeyong already showed me pictures of the room, so I’m fine.” Jaehyun began loading his gun before sliding it back into the holster. “When you come in here, do not look around. I’ll be here I promise. Do not do anything to make him suspicious.” He warned you.

You nodded slowly.

“___, they don’t have a no touch policy, so you may want to work quickly.”

The thought of this man’s hands on you disgusted you but you understood what you had to do. After Doyoung showed you the man you were looking for and described his location, he left to resume his place at the bar. Only you and Jaehyun stood in the room and he walked over to you quickly, pulling you into a kiss.

“You can do this. You will do this.” He whispered against your lips

You nodded before kissing him again. 

He cupped your face in his hands. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You replied as his hands slid from your face, allowing you to leave the room.

Your heels clicked down the expensive tile of the hallway as you made your way to the main area of the club. As soon as you stepped into the main area, you felt way more eyes watching you than you would ever normally be comfortable with. You watched as a few girls swung slowly on poles around the stage as men lustfully threw cash their way. 

Searching the crowd you finally found the man you were looking for. He was already watching you, allowing for a silent invitation to walk over. 

You took a deep breath as you steadily made your way towards him, his gaze raking up and down your body more times than was necessary. He was much older than you expected, easily in his late forties. Wrinkles were starting to appear around his forehead and eyes. He wasn’t unattractive which probably helped when he was preying on women for his secret business.

You stopped in front of him and his hand automatically began trailing up your thigh. “To what do I owe the pleasure of getting attention from someone like you?” He asked. You reminded yourself that he was a regular. His inhibitions were gone thanks to his frequent visits.

“You looked so lonely all by yourself.” You said in an attempted low tone. Even with Jaehyun, you never tried to be intentionally seductive. You were always too embarrassed to be bold with your words.

His hand clasped the back of your thigh, pulling you closer to him. “I haven’t seen you before. What’s your specialty?”

“I prefer private rooms. I have more… freedom that way.” You were eager to isolate yourself so Jaehyun could take care of him. The more time you spent out here meant the more time you had to keep up the act of actually enjoying this interaction.

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re rather forward, aren’t you? You can show me what you’re good at soon, but I have do have a preference for exhibition.” He pulled you down onto his lap and you tried to hide your disgust with the man underneath you.

You moved your hips in a languid circle, attempting to stimulate him enough that his impatience would take over. If you gave him what he wanted now, you could get him to want more much easier. 

His hands moved from your hips your ass, squeezing tightly. It all felt wrong, but you reminded yourself of the goal and kept moving, trying to appear enthusiastic.

His lips found your neck, dragging up and down in overly wet kisses. You allowed yourself to grimace since his face was buried in your neck. You found Doyoung behind the bar and he sent you an apologetic look. 

“Shame the only thing I’m not allowed to do is leave marks. I’ve never found someone so perfect for my wants.” You thought about what would happen if he did leave a mark and Jaehyun saw. The thought left you more upset and unsettled than you were before.

He groaned underneath you before pressing his lips to yours. You forced yourself to kiss him back, knowing one of the guards would step in if it was truly against the rules. He tasted like cigarettes and expensive whiskey and you hated. The smell of cigarettes alone was enough to make you gag. You tried to think about Jaehyun to make the time go by faster, but this man was nothing like him.

His hands found their way to your chest as he kneaded your breasts harshly. “So perky. Can’t wait to take this off.”

“Do you always have such a filthy mouth in public?” You asked, hoping it was even the slightest bit sexy.

He laughed. “You should hear me when we’re alone.”

You would really prefer to not, but you knew that was where you needed to go. “I want to hear everything you have to say, but there’s only so much I can do out here.”

“So eager for me.” He pushed you off his lap. “Lead the way, beautiful.”

You had never felt less beautiful in your life. You felt disgusting and filthy from the man that was previously under you. He was everything you hated and now you were being forced to offer him your body until Jaehyun could take his shot.

You searched for the door that had a gold eight, prompting you to turn in and open the door. As soon as you had made your way inside, the man slammed you up against the door, forcing his lips on yours. His tongue made quick work to make way into your mouth, shoving past your lips. The taste from before was suddenly amplified and you tried not to throw up from it.

His hand tried to move between your legs, but you stopped him. “On the bed.”

“I want to take you here.” He breathed into your mouth. Everything about the man was disgusting and you weren’t sure how much more you could take.

“I can’t stand in the shoes anymore.” You gestured to your feet, desperate to get him closer to Jaehyun’s ideal spot.

The man picked you up and you reluctantly wrapped your legs around his hips. He made his way to the bed in the otherwise empty room, dropping you before falling on top of you immediately after. He dug his face into your neck once again and you began to get frustrated knowing Jaehyun wouldn’t take a shot like this.

The man’s hands slid to your back, attempting to take off your bra. “I need to see those tits.”

“Sit up a little so you can take it off. You can’t see if you’re on top of me.” You suggested. 

He pressed a kiss to your ear. “So willing to give me the show I want.”

He sat up slightly, fingers fumbling with the clasp when you heard a gunshot from your side. You jumped at the sound and watched as the blood splattered your surroundings, red draining from the new hole in his head. The life drained from the man’s face as he began to slump onto you. You heard a string of sputtering and failed attempts at words and you tried to wriggle away. Scrambling out from underneath him, you reached for the blanket on the bed to wipe the blood from your arm. The sight before you was absolutely horrific, but you found that you couldn’t look away.

“___, get out of there.” You heard Jaehyun but still couldn’t see him. 

You left the room to find Jaehyun already waiting for you in the hallway.

“Doyoung, it’s done. Send the cleanup.”

Jaehyun tossed his coat at you and you slipped it on, before turning to walk after him. His brisk pacing forcing you to almost run just to keep up. Once in the car, you saw that Jaehyun’s jaw was clenched tight. You wanted to comfort him, but you figured now wasn’t the best time after what he had to witness.

“Where were you?” You asked. There was no way for him to have been in the room with you when the only thing in there was only a bed and a small cabinet on the wall.

“The ceiling. They have the marble tiled ceilings and I just popped a slab up. Taeyong told me there was a section in every room for insulation purposes.” His reply was curt despite the small explanation. He clearly did not want to have the conversation.

You resisted the urge to continue the conversation and rested your head against the window as Jaehyun sped through the streets and back to his apartment. You still didn’t understand the logistics of his location, but you guess that was what made him as good as he was. 

Jaehyun slammed his car door once you had arrived, jolting you back to reality. You once again were chasing after him as he strolled off, leaving you behind without care.

You made your way into Jaehyun’s apartment. Hearing Jaehyun slam yet another door behind you, you flinched. You had never seen him this angry. Even when you first agreed to the assignment, his anger then resembled the flame on a match stick compared to the roaring fire you were facing now.

The taste of the grease pit you were asked to seduce still lingered in your mouth. Making your way to the kitchen, you avoided Jaehyun’s knife like gaze. You grabbed a shot glass from the cabinet, filling it with vodka and raised it to your mouth, quickly taking in the clear liquor. The liquid burned down your throat and removed whatever was left of the man in the private room. 

You set the glass on the counter and waited. The counter was cold against your forehead when you leaned down to rest against it. You didn’t want to turn around, afraid of facing whatever mood your boyfriend was in, still not sure what to say to Jaehyun. The mission was successful. You quickly wracked your brain, recalling the entire evening from when you first stepped onto the property. You did exactly what everyone had asked you to do. There wasn’t anything that you said that could have given away Jaehyun’s position or even your own ulterior motives. It wasn’t your fault that the guy was insistent on being pressed up against you.

You jumped as Jaehyun snaked his arm around your waist, pulling you to him forcefully. “You are  _ never _ doing that again, you hear me?” The growl in your ear was low and deep, causing your stomach to flip. A low heat began to form in your stomach. You found yourself unable to answer. Bumps formed on your exposed skin as Jaehyun’s breath grazed your neck. 

He trailed his lips down from your ear to the crook of your neck, kissing you before biting down. You gasped from the sudden pain and leaned your head back slightly, allowing him better access to your neck. “What’s mine is mine,” he said before turning you around and lifting you onto the counter. “I don’t care who asks you to do it. You belong to me. I won’t just sit around and watch you be a slut for other men.” He began sucking on the spot he had bitten just moments ago. A moan escaped your lips only resulting in him sucking harder. He soon made his way back up your neck, leaving small hickeys each place he latched onto your neck. You laced your arms around his neck, one hand finding its way to his hair, pulling him closer to you. 

The sudden possessiveness had you surprisingly turned on. You had always hated when men acted in similar ways, but receiving this type of attention from Jaehyun was beginning to have an effect on you as you quickly felt a wetness in the expensive lingerie bought for the mission.

His hand trailed from your waist to your breast, taking time to massage while his lips met yours. He kissed you with fervor and left you no room for you to control. His tongue grazed your bottom lip before he bit down. You moaned quietly, allowing his tongue to meet yours. The languid slide of your tongues made Jaehyun pull you closer to him. You tightened your arms around his neck, scooting yourself towards the edge of the counter. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you pulled his hips into yours pleased to find that he was just turned on as you were. The slow grind of his bulge against your clit was just a tease compared to what you really wanted. He groaned from the sudden pressure and you steadily rolled your hips into his. His hands traveled down your back to your waist, grabbing tightly before slipping around your ass, kneading it gently. 

You were lifted off the counter just to be quickly pushed up against a wall. A choked breath escaped from the sudden collision. Jaehyun’s lips quickly found yours again as he set you down slowly. A hand quickly slipped between your legs rubbing at your clit.

“You’re already this wet.” He moved closer to your ear. “Is this from earlier or is all of this for me.”

“You.” You spoke quietly. There was no way anything could be from the man earlier. Nothing about him was appealing to you. Regardless of his sketchy job, he wasn’t Jaehyun. You gasped as Jaehyun pushed your panties to the side, running circles around your entrance before slowly pressing into you.

“Are you lying to me?” He pushed farther and you groaned. It wasn’t enough. You needed more.

“No, sir.”

He hummed in what you hoped was satisfaction as he began slowly curling his fingers against your walls. His movement stopped just as quickly as it began. You slumped your head against the wall behind you and let out a strained moan.

“You didn’t think you were going to feel good after what you pulled tonight did you?”

You did what you had to do earlier. You hardly felt like that called for punishment, but you were intrigued by this side of Jaehyun. You wanted to see how far you could take this. “What do I deserve then?”

He leaned down, nipping at your ear. “You’re about to find out.” He bent over and picked you up, flinging you over his shoulder. He smacked your ass while walking to the bedroom.

Jaehyun threw you onto the bed and hastily removed his coat, revealing the lingerie from earlier that night. “No one else deserves to see you like this. No one but me.” He licked his lips, devouring the sight of you. 

You reached out to begin unbuttoning his shirt until he slapped your hand away and pinned your wrists above your head.

“You think I’m going to let you touch me when your hands have been all over someone else all night?” He hissed at you. He reached into the drawer in his nightstand to take out a pair of handcuffs. He removed your bra, expertly maneuvering you out of the various straps before grabbing you by your waist, pushing you farther up the bed until he was able to secure your wrists to the headboard.

You felt frustration bubbling inside you. “You act like it wasn’t  _ your _ boss and  _ your  _ job that put me in the position.” You really never wanted to be a part of the mission, to begin with. The way Taeyong was acting in his apartment just last week and then on the phone made you cave. Involvement with the company was something that you wanted to avoid. Right now, you wanted Jaehyun to be rough with you but you were beginning to fear that he may actually be mad at you.

“Don’t give me fucking excuses, ___. I fought for you to not do the mission and you agreed to it, anyway. I could have killed the target without your help.” He grabbed a blindfold out of his drawer before returning his eyes to yours. He tied the piece of silk around your eyes, preventing you from seeing. “Now you can picture whoever you want fucking you. Is that what you wanted?”

You bit your tongue, knowing that further comments would just lead to a harsher punishment. You wanted to test the waters to see just how far he would take this before you made the situation worse.

With Jaehyun now situated between your legs, you attempted to rub against his thigh, seeking for some sort of stimulation. He stopped way too quickly earlier. “Not yet.” He quickly pushed your hips into the bed. “You never answered me. What do you say? You want someone else to be fucking you?”

“No, sir.” You gasped out as you felt a bite on your inner thigh.

“What do you mean no?”

“I only want you.” You took a sharp breath feeling Jaehyun press his hands between your legs.

His hand trailed up your chest before settling around your throat. “I don’t like sharing what’s mine, ___. I told you that.” He squeezed lightly. You moaned, just causing him to squeeze tighter. Jaehyun had choked you before but never in a situation like this. He had always whispered affirmations in your ear while allowing you to hold his wrist, telling you to squeeze when you needed a break. Now, your hands were above your head and he was using this as an actual punishment.

The lightheadedness began to creep in just as Jaehyun lightened his grip. His hand made its way back to between your legs and he rubbed gently.

“Jaehyun, please.”

“Please, what?” The stimulation stopped.

“I want you.” You were beginning to get desperate. Jaehyun had just barely touched you since getting home.

“That’s not very specific.” He sounded frustrated.

You groaned. “I want your dick inside of me.”

“Only good girls get rewards, baby.” He laughed lightly before pulling your panties off of you. He slowly spread your legs apart. “Tell me when you're close.”

He slid a finger inside of you, pulsing it against your walls. His thumb found your clit and began rubbing it at a steady pace. Not too long after, a second finger joined and his pumps became harder, the stimulation helping you to reach climax quicker than expected.

“Jae, I’m close. Please-,” you stammered just for Jaehyun to remove his fingers. You groaned, missing the feeling of him inside you. 

“You got to go around and have your fun. Let me have mine.” He slid his fingers back inside. The pace and pressure much harder than before. The pain was outweighed by the pleasure he was bringing upon you. 

You soon felt his breath on your clit and waited. “If you want it so bad, you can beg for it.”

You had a feeling that it would be useless. Even if it did work, you wanted to finish on his cock. The idea of it being the only reason for your compliance. His fingers wouldn’t fulfill your desire. You entertained him in hopes of him granting to your wishes faster. “Please let me finish.”

He laughed. “Not yet. I just got started. Don’t cum until I tell you to.”

He pressed his tongue to your core before moving to suck lightly on your clit. A moan escaped your mouth followed by his name. The sensation making you buck into him. He gave a small moan into you, the vibration giving added pleasure. He continued to lick into you with the help of his fingers while you began pulling on the cuffs around your wrist. You wanted to touch him, pull him more into you. You also began to wish you could see him. Just as you felt yourself on the brink again, he stopped. 

You threw your head back in frustration and not soon after he stopped, Jaehyun began again. This time he was sucking harder and his tongue moved more aggressively. He moved to hold down your hips to prevent movement, laughing into you. 

You were getting close after less and less time. Jaehyun kept stopping, just to go back more aggressively. Eventually, fingers rejoined his tongue and it was enough to push you to the edge. 

You were just about to let yourself go before he pulled away again. He moved up the bed and pressed his lips to yours, sliding his tongue inside your mouth making you taste yourself on him. Wanting to soak in as much of it as you could, your tongue ran over his. You resisted the urge to try and grind your hips against him, scared it might delay your long awaited orgasm. 

He reached behind your head, untying the blindfold. He broke away from your kiss, sitting up and dragging the silk tie in between his fingers. “I want you to see who it is that’s fucking you this good. I want you to know that no one else will make you feel this way.”

Before you got a chance to respond, he was sliding into you. A loud moan of his name escaped your lips at the unexpected penetration. 

“Fuck. You’re so wet.” He pressed his face into your neck before littering your shoulder and collarbone in little bites. “Feel so tight around my cock.”

He started slowly, hips languidly pressing into you. The thrusts were hard but carried a slow speed. The action was still enough to have you rocking on the bed, restraints pulling at your wrists. Before long he was quickly picking up the pace. You had to reach and hold the headboard behind you so some sort of stability as he aggressively rocked into you. 

His thumb found your clit and began rubbing it, and with the added stimulation, you found it hard to hold on. You felt yourself tightening around Jaehyun’s cock.

You sensed that he felt your tension and he finally granted you permission to release. “Cum, baby. I wanted to feel you.”

As soon as he gave you the okay, you felt your walls fully tighten around him, a string of profanities and moans leaving your mouth as the pleasure washed over you. Jaehyun didn’t slow his pace. You wrapped your legs around his hips in attempts to give him a better position. He came inside you, biting onto your neck. You thought once he had finished, he would stop but his hand found your clit, rubbing at an intense rate. It wasn’t long before you couldn’t take it anymore. “Jae, stop. It’s too much.” His hand left to snake around your waist and pull you closer to him.

Jaehyun rested his forehead against yours, kissing you between heavy breaths. “I love you,” he whispered.

You kissed him back in confirmation. “I love you.”

He slowly slid out of you and reached for the key in the nightstand, removing the handcuffs. You rubbed your wrists, not realizing just how hard you were pulling against the restraint. You attempted to sit up before noticing how sore you already were from Jaehyun’s aggressive thrusts. 

You could hear Jaehyun starting a bath in the other room. Resting your head against the headboard, you let out a small sigh. After the treatment from tonight, you began to wonder what else could get Jaehyun that worked up without throwing yourself all over sleazy men in a high-end strip club.

Hearing the water turn off, you turned your attention to Jaehyun who came back into the room, picking you up. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” He whispered in your ear.

He carried you to the bathroom, slowly lowering you into the bath before he joined, settling in behind you. He pulled you into him, your back resting against his chest. Jaehyun tied your hair into a loose bun before kissing over the bruises he had left earlier. He whispered softly into your shoulder. “I’m sorry. I got a little carried away.”

You shook your head. “Don’t apologize.” The warm water felt soothing after a night of having your body exposed to strangers. The blanket of bubbles made you feel covered for the first time all night, allowing you to become comfortable with ease. The grime of your target finally felt like it was leaving your body with Jaehyun massaging your arms with soap lathered hands.

“I didn’t realize how much seeing you… on him… would affect me.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned back, allowing to two of you to rest against the back of the tub. He peppered small kisses into your hair. “I’m sorry if I hurt you or scared you.”

“You didn’t. I actually enjoyed it.”

Jaehyun’s grip on you loosened momentarily. “You enjoyed it?”

“I know we’ve been rough before, but that side of you was hot.”

He resumed cleaning your body. “Hmm. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I won’t break, you know.” Even when he was rough with you, you could tell there was so much that he was holding back and you didn’t want him to anymore. 

“I know. But ever since you found out what I do, I’m always scared that one day you’ll decide it’s too much for you. Especially since Taeyong made you a part of a mission.” The last sentence was filled with so much anger, you tensed. 

“Are you going to talk to Taeyong about it.”

He nodded. “You’ve proven your loyalty to me and to the company. You even went behind my back just for my protection. There should be nothing else that he expects from you. I won’t put up with anymore.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “You dating me shouldn’t have to mean becoming a part of this shit show. I agreed to this, you didn’t”

“Taeyong could argue that me staying with you meant that I was aware of this risks and I’m okay with adopting your lifestyle. He kinda told me that I was involved now.”

He shook his head. “There’s just no way Taeyong would put someone he loved in the position he put you in. He would keep them removed from it, which is what I tried to do. He should treat you the same as he would treat someone he was dating. The contract was one thing but this mission was too far.” His grip on you tightened. “There’s no way he would ask his girlfriend to seduce a fucking pimp right in front of him.” The spite in his words reminded you of reality. You and Jaehyun killed a man.

You managed to not think about the mission ever since Jaehyun started his lesson on who you belonged to. You were absolutely blinded by the lust and it seemed as though he was too. Now that everything was calming down, the situation began to resonate with you. Jaehyun seemed to be realizing the gravity of the events as well as he encouraged you to lean further back into him. You rested your head against his shoulder and closed your eyes, fighting back tears as Jaehyun held you. 

“Let’s just not do that again, okay?” You spoke quietly. You didn’t want Jaehyun to hear the shakiness if your voice for fear that it would upset him even more.   
He nodded. “I told you I would protect you. I meant it.”

“Jaehyun, I think I’ve learned that you can’t protect me from everything.” You appreciated the gesture but one man couldn’t guarantee safety from everything that world had in store for you. You knew that you had just barely peeled back the curtain to this side.

He brushed your hair out of your face, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Doesn’t mean I won’t try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come tell me what you think so far!!!!!!!!! or just talk to me lol say whats up  
> tumblr: lovingyong


	9. nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you thought that moving in with jaehyun would fix the problems you had when you weren’t by his side. when that isn’t the case, you turn to seek help from an unexpected source.

Boxes filled your room creating a sort of maze to where your roommate was sitting. You didn’t have time to sit around and pack all at once, meaning you had slowly been putting away your things over the past month. Jaehyun was surprisingly patient with your delayed move in considering everything that had happened as of late, but you were thankful for not being nagged.

It was hard thinking about moving out of the apartment you had been in for years and even harder to think about leaving your best friend alone. Sooyeon had consistently reminded you that she would be just fine on her own, making jokes that she lived alone half the time already anyway. Her only request was that you would at least visit often.

Your roommate sat beside your bed, holding a picture of the two of you. Sitting down next to her, you rested your head on her shoulder and took in the details of the photo. It was your favorite picture of the two of you. A mutual friend took a picture of you in the middle of a laughing fit on the cold dormitory floor during your freshman year.

“I feel like a mom.” Sooyeon jokingly sniffled next to you. “My baby ___ is all grown up and moving out.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal. I’m almost 26. It had to happen at some point.” You shrugged.

“Don’t remind me how old we are. I feel like there’s a clock above my head counting down the days until I’m an old maid.” She placed the picture of the two of you in the box in front of her. “Besides, Jaehyun seems head over heels so I don’t think it’ll be that much longer before you’re engaged.”

You rolled your eyes. “We haven’t even been together a year, yet.”

“Minsoo got married after four months.”

“And got divorced two months after.” You reminded her.

“Still. Eventually, you’ll be married and starting a family and-”

You interrupted her. “I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself.”

At the mention of a family, you realized that it was never something that you thought about. It wasn’t even until finding out what Jaehyun actually did for a living that you realized you couldn’t imagine life without him. Wanting to be with him forever was something that you now thought about often, but it was always just him when you thought about your future. Jaehyun was already protective over you. It was hard to imagine just how he would be with an entire family. His job wasn’t exactly suitable for raising children. Did you even want children?

Your racing thoughts were interrupted by a knock on your door frame. You looked up to find Jaehyun to the path between the boxes. “You have a lot of stuff.”

You smiled at him. “Good thing you took the whole weekend off.”

He made his way over to you, leaning down to kiss the top of your head. “Where’s the most important stuff so we can do that first?”

You pointed towards the stack that was in and around the closet. He nodded at you before walking over and grabbing a few boxes before making his way out of the door.

“We should probably help him.” You stood up, dusting off your pants.

“You don’t want to see your boyfriend all sweaty from helping you move into your now  _shared_ apartment?”

“I see him sweaty plenty, you pervert. Grab a box.” You lifted a few from the floor while Sooyeon appeared to be searching for the lightest ones.

Once Jaehyun’s car was filled with boxes, you both got into the car, leaving Sooyeon asleep in the middle of the floor.

The drive was filled with Jaehyun’s quiet humming while your thoughts traveled back to your conversation with Sooyeon.

“Do you want kids?”

His hand on your thigh tightened momentarily and he cleared his throat before speaking. “I mean eventually, but I kinda thought we would talk about marriage before we talked about having a baby.”

“Not right now,” you clarified, “just in general.”

“Oh, um. I mean I’ve always wanted kids. Do you want kids?”

“I’ve never thought about it.” When you were in high school, you thought that you wanted kids without a doubt. When you started college and started working, you weren’t exactly sure anymore. Then again, you were unsure about marriage as well. Now with Jaehyun next to you, marriage seemed like such a beautiful possibility.

“What made you ask then?”

“Sooyeon.” You admitted.

“She’s rather outspoken, isn’t she?”   
You nodded your head in agreement. She was never one to shy away from taboo topics. “She just started talking about how I’m moving out and soon all this stuff will happen between us and, I don’t know. I just kind of panicked.”

“Panicked? Why?” A small frown graced his face and his brows furrowed.

“Because I didn’t want to start thinking about our future when I don’t even know what you want or can even do with your job.” You admitted.

“___, can I be honest for a second?”

“That’s all I ever ask.”

“I never ever thought about having a relationship or a family with the position I’m in. It just didn’t seem possible to me.” His thumb moved steadily back and forth across your thigh as he spoke.

“What changed?”

“Meeting you.”

“Oh.” You weren’t sure what to say. It gave you warmth and comfort to hear him say it but the rush of emotions the statement gave you made you speechless.

“I want to marry you and start a family with you and have a ridiculous amount of house plants because for some reason that’s one of the only gifts middle-aged people give.”

You laughed at the thought of his modern apartment having little children running around various potted plants that you, personally, don’t think you could keep alive.

“I’m serious. And I hate that I don’t know when I can give that to you, but I want it. I want it all as long as it’s with you.”

“Aren’t you scared it’s too soon to be saying stuff like this.” You played with his fingers, nervous at the thought of moving too quickly and ruining everything.

“You have seen the worst of me and you chose to stay.”

“Because I couldn’t imagine life without you now that I’ve had you. I know who you are regardless of what you do for a living.” That night replays often through your mind, but you know without a doubt if you could go back, you wouldn’t change a thing.

“Then it’s decided.”

“What is?”

“That one day we’ll get married.” You saw a small smile grace his lips and couldn’t help but do the same.

The rest of the day was spent with repeated trips and teasing complaints from Sooyeon. By the time all the boxes had been moved, it was way past time for dinner. Jaehyun invited your now former roommate over for dinner in order to thank her for her “help” today. The three of you now sat on the floor surrounded by takeout while Sooyeon made comments about the apartment and how she understood why you’re ditching her.

“So, Jaehyun.” Sooyeon began, opening the first container she could get her hands on.

Jaehyun hummed in acknowledgment as he took a bite of his food.

“Know of any handsome eligible bachelors at Lee Enterprises?” She raised an eyebrow. “I figured since my dear best friend got so lucky with you, maybe they’re manufacturing the perfect men there.”

“There’s the CEO,” Jaehyun remarked nonchalantly.

You choked on a stray noodle before Jaehyun continued.

“Have fun trying to get him away from his desk though. But that’s the problem with everyone that works there.” You recalled the night at Sooyeon’s art show and how he handled Johnny being interested in your roommate. He was still trying to keep her out of the life that you had been thrown into and you appreciated him for that. 

“Except you, apparently.” She teased.

“Only because I met ___. I worked eighteen-hour shifts every day before I met her.”

“I could be that way for someone.” She pointed her chopsticks at him in protest.

Jaehyun scrunched his nose in disapproval. “You wouldn’t want to, I promise. Those men have nothing to offer except their money. You could get a nice man making less and he would actually have a personality.”

It was almost laughable how he was trying to deter Sooyeon from his coworkers. The ones that you met had plenty of personality and you could see Sooyeon being interested in a couple.

“I get it, Jung Jaehyun.” She mocked him. “You’re one of a kind.”

“I like to think so.” He teased. “Seriously though, Sooyeon. You’re a wonderful girl and you could do better than the men I work with, I promise.”

She picked at her plate and you noticed the faint blush growing on her cheeks. You had constantly told her the same thing about all the men she had encountered, but you understood it was different coming from someone who definitely didn’t have to say anything like that.

You reached over to hold Jaehyun’s hand and Sooyeon groaned. “You two don’t have to be so precious, you know.” She stood up from her spot on the floor, taking her plate and boxes to the kitchen. “I’m going to head out and let you two do whatever people do when they move in together. Thanks for dinner, Jae.”

You blew her a kiss as she walked towards the door. “Don’t forget about me now that I’m gone.”

“No.  _You_  don’t forget about  _me_  now that you live with Mr. Dream Boat.” She teased as she pretended to catch your kiss.

As soon as the door shut behind her, you laid your head in Jaehyun’s lap. His fingers slowly threaded through your hair. “Do you want to go to bed… to sleep?”

You groaned, exhaustion overtaking your body. “I thought you’d never ask.”

* * *

_You found yourself back in the club you hated so much. Men surrounded you with drool seeping out of their mouth as they watched the girls in front of them. They had regressed to a purely animalistic state. You struggled to find the man you were supposed to be targeting, only to be startled by him appearing behind you. His hands traveled over your body and you sneered in disgust, reacting violently to the wandering touches. You called out for Jaehyun as the man continued his pursuits. Once you finally heard the gunshot, signaling your rescue, you watched the face in front of you melt off the body as blood poured out into a steady fountain in front of you._

You woke up just in time to immediately run to the bathroom, barely making it before releasing the contents of your stomach. You tried to shake the images of your dream from your memory, but all you could see was the man’s face melting to a puddle before you, continually making you uneasy. You rested your head against the bathroom wall, waiting to throw up again. The sights weren’t leaving easy and you waited for another image to be unsettling enough to lead you to retch.

Jaehyun walked through the door, making his way over to you. “Are you okay?”

“No.” You sighed, voice barely audible.

He sat down behind you, back resting against the wall before pulling you into his lap. You rested your head on his chest, relishing in the warmth as chills raked over your skin.

“Another dream?” He asked, brushing your hair out of your face before kissing the top of your head.

You nodded against his chest. “I’m gonna brush my teeth and then we can go back to bed.”

“Don’t rush yourself.” He said quietly, rubbing his hand over your back.

“I think it’ll be fine if you hold me.” You hated needing him like this but it was to the point that you didn’t care. “I thought they would be gone after I moved in.”

“I wish it was that easy…” He helped you stand up before following after and pulling you back to his body.

You stood there momentarily, allowing the pressure of his arms against you to bring you comfort. Even though it was now evident that the nightmares would continue, you were thankful that you wouldn’t be waking up from them alone anymore.

* * *

Monday morning came way too soon. The majority of Sunday was spent unpacking your belongings until it was time for Jaehyun to go to work. You had fallen asleep without Jaehyun that night due to a new assignment. He didn’t come home until you were preparing to leave for work. You decided not to talk about the nightmares that kept you up all night while he was at work.

Once your lunch break rolled around, you made your way to Lee Enterprises. Knowing Jaehyung had the day off due to his assignment from last night, you strolled up to the desk without fear of seeing your boyfriend and having to explain your visit.

“I’m here to see Lee Taeyong.” You waited for the secretary to search through the computer, presumably for an appointment time.

She continued to scroll before turning to you. “Mr. Lee doesn’t have any appointments for today.”

“Then he won’t mind me dropping by.” You countered.

She raised an eyebrow at you before reaching over and dialing Taeyong’s office, giving him your name. After finishing the phone call, she gave you the okay and dismissed the guards.

You walked slowly towards the elevator, remembering the first time you were in this very building. All the weight of just finding out about Jaehyun’s career weighing heavy on your shoulders. Now, just a few months later, you were disappointed to feel the same weight. It didn’t matter how much you loved Jaehyun, you weren’t handling the transition well at all and you needed to speak to someone else about it.

To think that the person you were seeking was the one you hated most was something you still couldn’t get over. If it weren’t for Taeyong, Jaehyun would never have been in this position. He could be living a normal life with all the possibilities of an uninterrupted future. It was so easy to place all the blame on Taeyong and it was what you had been subconsciously doing ever since signing the contract.

You exited the elevator, turning on your heel to make your way towards the large office. Through the glass you were able to spot two men leaning over the desk, scanning over a variety of papers organized neatly over the sleek wood. Taeyong looked up when he heard you knock on the glass door, waving you in.

“___. I wasn’t expecting you.”

You already felt so small in front of him, finding yourself fiddling with your hands. “It was an unexpected visit.”

“I see.” He nodded before gesturing to the man next to him. “This is my brother, Mark. He’s in charge of the more conventional side of things.”

The man beside him had a similar build and stature, but his entire demeanor was different. While Taeyong was cold and harsh, Mark was bright and welcoming. His friendly, energetic presence had somehow eliminated some of the nerves you initially had.

He gave you a warm smile before extending his hand. “I take it your Jaehyun’s girlfriend?”

“I hope you don’t mind I told him,” Taeyong added quickly.

“No, not at all.” You reassured him before turning back to Mark. “I am. Almost a year now.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you.” He gave you another small smile before turning to his brother. “Would you like me to come back later?”

“That would be great. Thank you.” Taeyong nodded, dismissing him.

Once the door shut behind Mark, Taeyong looked at you. “He’s the reason I do what I do.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, unsure of what he was referring to.

“It was either him or me for this and I knew whoever did it would be risking their lives. He’s all I have left so I said I would do it to keep him out of it.”

“Why couldn’t someone else do it? Surely you weren’t the only qualified one.”

“Our father didn’t trust anyone outside of our family. It took months to convince him to let Jaehyun be my guard and he was basically like family at that point.” He began cleaning the papers from his desk. “But, you’re not here to talk about me.”

“No, I guess I’m not.” You wouldn’t mind continuing listening to just why Taeyong was the way he was, but at the moment, your relationship was more important.

“So.” Taeyong waited.

“I, um.” You stared down at your hands, watching your fingers entangle themselves. “I guess I’m just not handling this as well as I thought I would.”

“I don’t know how someone is supposed to handle finding out their boyfriend is an assassin, so I’d say you’re doing well.” It was unexpectedly kind considering your few experiences with him.

“Except I’m not.” You admitted.

“How so?”

“I feel like at every turn I keep fucking up and hurting Jaehyun. And I keep having these nightmares and I know it upsets him when I wake up and throw up because of the things I saw.” You bit back to keep from spilling all of your relationship problems with Jaehyun’s best friend before you even told him.

“From what I’ve seen, all the things I think you’re referring to as your fuck ups have all been to protect him. And the nightmares are expected. He had them, too. He lived with me for years because he was scared of being alone at night.” His attempt at reassurance somehow just made you feel worse.

“I don’t know if he sees it that way… Plus, the fact that he’s had nightmares almost makes it worse, I think because he knows just how miserable they are and he just has to watch me go through it when he can’t fix anything.” You sighed, finally looking up to meet his gaze.

“Are you thinking about leaving him?”

You shook your head, shocked by even the thought of it. “Maybe it’s selfish, but that’s the last thing I would want to do. I just don’t know if I’m hurting him so much that this isn’t good for him anymore.”

He leaned back in his chair. “You really love him, don’t you.”

“Of course I do.”

He waited for a second before looking at you, face filled with regret. “Jaehyun is the most important person in my life besides Mark and I have never once thought about how my actions affected him. I know I’m a piece of shit and I won’t try and act like I’m not. It honestly wasn’t until my decisions started affecting you that I started to realize just how much I was hurting him. How much I had been hurting him since he started working for me.”

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.” How did Taeyong’s own guilt affect your relationship?

“I’m saying your conscious of the fact that you can hurt him and the possibility of doing so upsets you. I have seen him lose his temper a total of three times. Once was when I told him I would be accepting this position. The other two were concerning you. You don’t hurt him near as much as you think you do. I think your independence terrifies him.”

“I don’t want to make him feel anything negative.” You admitted. If you could only bring him happiness and peace, you would do it without hesitation.

Taeyong shook his head before leaning forward on his desk. “With the position Jaehyun is in, that’s not possible. Also, don’t set that expectation for yourself. You will single-handedly ruin your relationship with your own invalid insecurities. Jaehyun is terrified because he finally has something to come home to and he doesn’t ever want to lose it.”

You thought about the way he reacted when you agreed to do the assignment, when he found you in Taeyong’s office after he got you out of the mission, when you signed the contract, and when you showed up at his door after having the nightmare where you were his victim. You felt stupid for ever coming to the office, but at the same time, this was what you needed to hear.

“You know, you’re not all bad.” You said quietly. He had spoken a lot of wisdom into you when you had just barged into his office with no notice. You hadn’t had the best experiences with him, but after today you knew it was possible for him to care for others. It was refreshing to see just a small piece of the person Jaehyun cared for and worked so hard to protect.

“Maybe you can remind Jaehyun of that. I’m the one who has a fuck up list a mile long.” Taeyong laughed lightly but the joke was more somber than anything.

“He doesn’t know I’m here.” You hinted quietly.

“I figured such seeing as you came in on his day off. I won’t tell him.” He acknowledged your silent request with a small nod.

“Thank you.” You stood up, making your way out of the office. Your lunch break was coming to an end and there wasn’t much more reason to stay in his office anyway. He probably had plenty of things to do.

“___?”

You turned back to face him.

“Don’t give up on this. No matter what happens, talk to him. My door is always open, but I think Jaehyun may be able to comfort you better than someone you don’t really care for.” The last sentence caught you off guard. You didn’t know your distaste for the man was so obvious. You were honestly ashamed of letting your emotions show so clearly just to turn around and ask him for help. At least after today, you had a little bit more respect for him.

“I-”

He interrupted you. “It’s okay not to like me. I wouldn’t like me either.” He gave you a small smile before picking up his phone. You took that as your signal to leave his office and make your way back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooooo more about taeyong. i'm so attached to the side characters now too :(((((
> 
> tumblr: lovingyong


	10. ten

When you got home, Jaehyun was already cooking dinner. You waited for a response after giving your greeting but received none. Assuming it was because he couldn’t hear you, you rounded the corner only to find Jaehyun’s hands pressed to the counter with his head hanging down.

“Babe, are you feeling alright?” Concern lacing your voice as you walked over to him, attempting to rub his back just for him to walk away from you.

“Why were you in Taeyong’s office today.” His asked curtly.

You thought that you had done everything right. It wasn’t that you were never planning on telling him, you just wanted to figure out a way to phrase it so that it didn’t seem like you were going behind his back. For him to find out from a source that wasn’t you threw a slight wrench in your plans. “What? How did you-”

“Johnny called me.” He answered you before restating his original question. “Why were you there?”

You sat there trying to figure out how to answer. You thought you would have more time to think about this conversation. Being put on the spot wasn’t going very well as you searched through your mind for appropriate wording of your situation.

“Are you leaving me?”

You were once again upset by even the mention of it. You were able to brush it off when Taeyong suggested it, but hearing it come from the person you cared about most did something different to your heart. “Why would ever you think that?”

“Because of that contract he made you sign.” He reminded you as if it was a suitable explanation. “You didn’t even get to read it. I thought you were going back to find out the details. I told you to tell me if it was too much.”

You shook your head. He couldn’t be more wrong. “That’s not it.”

“Then what is it?” Jaehyun’s voice was rising and you were quickly realizing that you should have just talked to him instead of going behind his back. It was stupid of you to think that you could keep this a secret from him. It was also stupid of you to think that Jaehyun wouldn’t be the best person to turn to in the first place.

“I was scared.” You admitted.

“Of what? Of me?”

“No. Of not being good enough for you.”

He froze, confusion evident on his face. “How would that even be possible?”

“Jaehyun, all I’ve done lately is bring your worry and stress. You make me feel comfortable and put me at ease. I’m frustrated with myself knowing I don’t do the same for you.”

“Why do you think that’s all you give me?”

“Because of the contract and then the assignment and now the nightmares. I don’t want you to feel like you have to protect me all the time. That’s not a burden you should bear.”

He looked at you, sympathy filling his eyes. You already knew he was blaming himself for the way you felt despite you telling him not to. “I’m worried because I care about you. You don’t bring me stress, I just want to keep you away from all this and I’m mad at myself because I’m obviously not doing a good job. I know you say I shouldn’t worry about it, but I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. Maybe I am carrying that burden, but it’s because if I didn’t, I would always blame myself if something happened to you.”

“Okay…” You chewed on your lip. “I shouldn’t have gone to Taeyong. I just thought that maybe since he lives it and he’s close to you, he might have some insight. I don’t know it was ridiculous and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just tell me next time. WHat’s the point of any of this if you feel like you can’t talk to me?” He reached for your hand, thumb grazing over the back. “What did Taeyong say?”

“That you were scared.”

He laughed lightly. “I mean, he’s right about that one. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that I’m terrified before you’ll actually believe me.”

“I know. I just hate knowing that you’re upset and it’s because of something I did.”

“You haven’t done anything, ___. All of this is stemming from my own fears and you can’t take the blame for that.”

“I need you to tell me if I ever become a burden.” You told him. His life was hard enough without you adding unnecessary obstacles.

He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I think that’s something I should be telling you.”

You sighed, relieved at the tension that had been lifted from the room. This all could have been avoided so easily. “Now that that’s over, tell me what you’re making for dinner.”

* * *

Work throughout the week had passed relatively slowly and you were thankful that you would have a weekend break as you strolled into the office come Friday morning. You arrived at the studio, greeted by Simon before you made your way to the back to review anything that may have happened overnight. After finding nothing, you settled down in your chair.

The higher-ups decided that if there was nothing to report on the scene, the anchors would find stories from other parts of the country to share during the morning news. You no longer carried the weight of supplying the news with pieces all day and it was a relief. You were able to enjoy your job again now that you weren’t forced to deal with busy work almost every day.

Surprisingly the crimes that you have been asked to report on had dropped significantly in the past month. Maybe Taeyong’s scare tactics were finally beginning to work. It had been a month since the last arson and almost two since the dealer that Jaehyun killed was found dead. While Jaehyun was still receiving assignments, at least the gangs were staying out of the public eye as Taeyong had intended.

Lunchtime rolled around fairly quickly, prompting you to take a short break. Before you could make it out the studio, you were stopped by Simon and the other head anchor, Hyunjin.

“I hate to do this to you, ___, but I need you to stay here during your lunch break and then go on site again. The police just informed us of a gang bust.” Simon feigned sympathy. Reporting on this would be good for ratings which meant he didn’t really care about your lunch break. After hearing him say drug bust, you didn’t care about your break either.

You looked at them, shock clearly evident on your face. “Is it the one who’s responsible for all the arsons?”

Hyunjin spoke up this time, concern etching into her brows. “They think so. Apparently, this gang was a lot more serious than we thought though, so we’re going to need you to get as many details as you can before tonight.”

Your heart picked up slightly as you nodded, turning to head back to your office. Dialing Jaehyun’s number, you began putting your lunch back into the drawer. You knew you wouldn’t be able to use any of the information in the report, but you needed to know if this really was the same group that Taeyong was after.

He picked up on the fourth ring, a rushed hello making its way to your ear.

“I’m sure you can’t talk long, but is this the group you were worried about.”

“Yes. I’m assuming you’re going to report on it.” He paused for a second and you could hear a muffled voice attempting to talk to him. It wasn’t long before his attention was back on you. “Please be careful.”

“I will. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He hung up.

You grabbed all your stuff, making your way outside to find a cab. After successfully hailing one, you climbed in and allowed your thoughts to race, processing the situation before you. 

If the gang had been busted, that meant Taeyong won. Lee Enterprises proved that you were not to step out of line or there would be consequences. This should be a victory but for some reason over the phone, Jaehyun sounded stressed. You tried to push it to the back of your mind knowing you could just ask him about it later.

As you got out of the taxi, you took in the chaotic site before you. Police tape surrounded a small abandoned building as detectives walked in and out. You saw other news station vans line the street while people prepared for lunchtime news. You quickly found your own station, approaching them and trying to gather as much information as you could without bothering the officers themselves. 

The police received an anonymous tip this morning about this location being where the gang was currently residing. When they arrived, they found about 30 people in the building. They were spread out in various rooms. A few were counting money while the rest seemed to be in the process of making synthetic drugs. Based on the recent arsons and the evidence left behind in the ashes, the police were able to conclude that this was the group that they had been chasing for a few months. The drugs are being sent to a laboratory to see if they would be able to make a tie between this group and the drug dealer that was killed a short time back.

Your mind raced as you tried to process the information. With the way Taeyong described the group, you knew there had to be more than thirty. Despite the hefty amount of arrests, you couldn’t be so confident to believe that this was truly the end. You weren’t sure the position Jaehyun was in, but that wasn’t something that you could think about in the present moment.

Scribbling as much as you could as quickly as you could, you sorted out a script to write the afternoon crew. Your head pounded as you attempted to take in all the information. This would have been a hard enough segment to cover without your racing thoughts about the truth regarding the situation. How did Jaehyun and his company play into this and would the group finally take Taeyong’s threats seriously? Your crew chatted politely during the break while you tried to piece together the already obtained knowledge with the new pieces of information the officers were providing.

By the time night fell, you had managed to create a cohesive yet descript script for your allotted time on the news tonight. Due to the large story, you had more time than usual, but you had to allow for questions and back and forth with the crew in the studio. You usually requested they give you an example of questions beforehand, but you were much too busy to prepare for those even if you had them. You knew the information and just had to be ready to share it if need be. 

Lights shone around you as you stood in the middle of the street, abandoned building behind you. Cops still filed in and out as your crew focused the camera on you and set up the rest of the equipment. It wasn’t long before you heard Simon’s voice delivering the opening headlines and you waited patiently for your turn. Once Simon gave the cue for the camera’s to switch, you introduced yourself and flowed right into the script you had prepared, hoping to inform the public as much as you could.

As soon as you were able to conclude the segment, you let out a long breath. The crew congratulated you on another successful night and you felt yourself slowly unwind from the stress of the situation. You knew that tomorrow, your unairable questions would be answered and you would be able to have peace knowing what was really happening.

You walked through your door around nine that night, body exhausted from an entire day on your feet gathering new information. You rounded the corner expecting to find an empty apartment and instead found Taeyong and Jaehyun sitting across from each other in the living room, drinks in hand.

Taeyong smiled at you softly. “Sorry for intruding. If you’re ready to go to bed, I’ll make a point to be quiet.”

“No. It’s okay. I assume it was a long day at the office?”

“It was indeed.” He set down a glass that appeared to have whiskey before leaning back. “You wouldn’t have happened to give the police an anonymous tip about the group’s whereabouts would you?”

You shook your head. You knew nothing about the gang. Jaehyun insisted that the more you knew, the more danger you would be in. Seeing what happened when you  _ did _ know more than necessary, you took his word on it and never pressed about his work life. The last thing you wanted was to be sent on yet another partner assignment. “I didn’t even know where they were. Jaehyun keeps me on a need to know basis.”

“I figured so.” Taeyong mused.

Jaehyun loosened his tie before unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. “We had to move the meeting here. Doyoung will be here soon. I tried to call you to tell you but you were still on site.”

“No, it’s okay, really. Is everything alright?” It wasn’t normal for them to meet here. The office was a secure space. Jaehyun had even once mentioned they swept for bugs and wiretaps every morning. 

“We think there may be someone leaking information from inside the company.” Jaehyun answered, sighing at the end of his statement. It explained the rushed phone call and heavy facial expressions.

The upper level of Lee Enterprises seemed to be a tight knit group from what you had heard from Jaehyun, so it was hard to even imagine such a thing. “What? Why?”

“The men arrested today were just pretty low on the hierarchy. Everyone who’s anyone important are currently in other countries trying to spread their product.” Taeyong dragged his finger around the edge of his glass. His words were slow as if he would be able to find the missing piece he needed while explaining the situation to you.

Jaehyun continued when his boss appeared to be finished. “Someone gave the police the tip in order to warn the higher ups that we were onto them without anyone actually important getting caught. There was no better time for this.”

“So, what? Those men were just collateral?” 

“Basically.” Taeyong confirmed. “Each and every one of those men were replaceable. We’ve been keeping an eye on all of our main targets and none of their names were in the report.”

“So, how many are left?”

“I would say around forty.” Taeyong took a folder from beside him before dropping it on the table.

You knew when you first heard of the arrests that it wouldn’t be everyone but it was still shocking that it ended up being less than half. 

A knock sounded on the door and Jaehyun stood up to answer it, stopping to press a kiss to your temple along the way.

Taeyong gave a small smile at the interaction before gesturing for you to sit down. “You’ll be able to hear everything anyway.”

You shook your head. “It may be better if I just go to bed. I would feel weird sitting in on such an exclusive meeting.”

“It isn’t necessarily exclusive and more so the only people I’ve been able to trust haven’t done it. This group will get larger as time goes on. Considering you met a few of my employees, it may actually be beneficial for you to stay. I want you to be aware of potential threats since they may use you in ways that I would prefer to not have to worry about.”

“___. I wish we were meeting again under better circumstances, but it’s nice to see you again all the same. You did an excellent job that night and I’ve witnessed a lot of assassination plans.” You turned your head to the direction of the voice and found the man from the club standing in the entryway. His face bore a polite smile and he nodded in your direction.

“Nice to see you again, Doyoung.” You nodded towards him, giving him a polite smile. 

Doyoung moved to sit next to Taeyong while Jaehyun took his regular spot next to you. 

“Are you staying for the meeting?” Jaehyun asked cautiously.

“Taeyong thought it would be best if I knew the potential threats since a few people in the office know me by now.”

Jaehyun nodded, picking up on the implication. 

Taeyong sighed. “This whole situation is frustrating considering I can’t even use my own PI anymore. I’m going to have to bring in someone new.”

“You don’t really think whoever it was would have known Doyoung was following the case, do you?” Jaehyun interjected.   
The CEO let out a small chuckle at the comment. “It would be stupid of them not to. Everyone in the office knows he’s my eyes and ears for my most important cases.”

“They never seemed to notice me before,” Doyoung defended himself, “but that’s kind of the point of my job. After this tip, they’ll be way more aware of their surroundings. I don’t think it would be wise to have any single PI on the case. You’re gonna need a team you can rotate.”

“I don’t trust enough people in this world to have a rotation. Look how many people are in this room right now.” Taeyong gestured around him. “No one even knows we’re here that’s how little trust I have right now.”

“What if you send Jaehyun to do it instead?” You suggested. If they knew Doyoung and Taeyong only trusted the people in this room, he seemed to be the only option. You hated suggesting it, but if he was capable of hiding himself well enough to kill someone, he could definitely follow someone.

Taeyong rubbed his forehead, stress clearly beginning to wear on him. “The chances of them knowing him are just as likely. He killed the guy who came up with how to make the shit they’re selling. Right now, I have no way of keeping track of this group without endangering one of you or endangering the company as a whole.”

“We’re going to have to find our leak first.” Doyoung acknowledged. “We won’t be able to do anything without fear of them finding out unless we eliminate the inside threat.”

“Who are your main suspicions right now?” Jaehyun asked. 

“Honestly?” Taeyong flipped through the file of employees before dropping it on the table with the other file. “Sicheng, Yuta, Johnny, and Ten. Possibly Taeil.”

“So half the floor.” Jaehyun already looked exhausted and the possible deep digging they would have to do on half the floor just seemed like more work.

“Yes.”

“What about the other half? Why aren’t they here?” You asked. The more that could help seemed like the better outcome for the company. This wasn’t something that could be done alone.

“They don’t know enough about the case to be suspects and that’s because I don’t trust them enough to begin with. It would be too risky to bring them in now.”

“I think we could trust Jungwoo,” Doyoung suggested.

“Why would we need to?”

“He’s in charge of covering up all of our assignments. Maybe he’s noticed something with the clean up crew.”

“Doubt it.” Taeyong huffed signalling the end of that conversation.

“What ties might everyone have then?” Doyoung asked.

“Ten’s an easy out.” Jaehyun said. “That man can’t keep his mouth shut to save his life. I know every step of all his plans and could write a biography over his target by the time he’s finished with an assignment.”

“I don’t trust him,” Taeyong said.

Jaehyun shook his head. “If that’s your only reasoning, I’m not wasting my time digging on him. He’s not smart enough to be a leak and not expose himself. He got himself caught on an assignment  _ we all knew about _ . All he had to do was hide from the target and he failed. There’s no way he could keep something like this hidden. He’s off my radar. Who’s next?”

Taeyong cleared his throat before starting. “Taeil runs and assists in all my clubs. He’s bound to come across one of these men since Doyoung did report that over half of them attend my club in Apgujeong. He would have had plenty of time to form some sort of connection with the men since Taeil prides himself on revisitors.”

“That makes sense, but Taeil is at a different club every week. With that logic, he would only be at the club in Apgujeong every month and a half to two months.” Doyoung interjected.

“He’s the one I’m least worried about, but any exposure to them is exposure.”

Jaehyun picked up the folder with each of the suspects and began flipping through it. “Yuta seems unlikely as well. We take inventory of the weaponry once a week and he has to report each of his sales to you with the information on who he sold to. He only makes black market trips once a month and has never once sold to one of the higher ups that we’ve been watching. There’s no other contact he would have had as an arms dealer.”

“So who are we left with?” Doyoung questioned. “Winwin and Johnny?”

“Both are equally possible.”

“I wouldn’t say Johnny is equally possible.” Doyoung shook his head. “What’s your reasoning? He deals drugs?”

“That’s exactly why.”

“He has a steady flow of cash coming from you. Why would he get wrapped up in something so messy for a few extra dollars?” Jaehyun asked, brows knitting together. You remembered Johnny sayin that the two of them were close when you met him at the art show. This wouldn’t be the most ideal suspect.

Doyoung added on. “Plus, the group would be seen as competition. If he was really working with them, his sales of your products would be taking a hit.”

Taeyong reached for Johnny’s profile, flipping to his sales over the past six months.

“If anything, it looks like it’s increased.”

“Exactly. There’s no way it would have  _ increased  _ if he was trying to juggle between two sellers.” Jaehyun noted. “I don’t think we would be doing anything but wasting time trying to pry into him.”

“So, Sicheng?”

“The kid’s fucking crazy already. It wouldn’t surprise me.” Doyoung mused. “I’ve never trusted him, personally.”

“He did seem really eager to take on this assignment.” Taeyong reached for his profile, placing Johnny’s back into the manilla folder. “He’s been doing arsons for me for years and they were always just jobs. He actually was eager to start this one. He just rushed into it when usually he sits and plans every single one for weeks before he actually makes a move.”

Doyoung picked up the other file on the desk before pulling out a small packet of paper. “It could have been an opportunity for him to warn them so no damage was truly ever done. I mean their business never actually went down after each burning.” 

“It could have been because they have multiple locations.”

“They probably do. But that doesn’t change that their productivity wasn’t affected in the slightest.” Doyoung handed him the paper with ‘Sales and Productivity’ typed across the top. You couldn’t even fathom how they would have gotten all this information.

“My only question is how he would have met them.” Taeyong joined in again. “The rest of them have possible ties. What does Sicheng have besides his enthusiasm and quick work?”

“They have a hundred people under their company. How does anyone get involved with them? It could have been at any time. We don’t really need a surefire tie, do we?” Jaehyun questioned. 

“I guess you have a point. Something just still feels missing.”

“Why? All signs are pointing at the fact that he’s our guy.” Jaehyun’s voice was beginning to raise. You placed a tentative hand on his back and began rubbing slow circles in an attempt to calm him down. He had no doubt been working on this all day and was eager to be finished with it.

“We came to this conclusion in one night. It shouldn’t have been this easy.”

“Because we actually started looking instead of sitting around and panicking about the leak. There’s only so many people in this office who it could be.” Jaehyun defended. 

Taeyong turned to you. “___, what do you think?”

“Well, whoever it was, they probably weren’t trying very hard to hide considering they already had your trust.” You began. “If they were able to work for both groups at the same time, they probably saw no need to cover up. Plus, what about Sicheng’s situation  _ could _ he have covered up. Your suspicion is stemming from a job that you gave him.”

“Maybe that’s why I’m still weary,” Taeyong mumbled.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“The whole reason we think it’s him is because of an assignment I gave him. Would we have even suspected him without this assignment?”

“Would you have suspected Johnny if he weren’t a drug dealer?” Jaehyun asked.

“I guess I wouldn’t have, no.”

“It’s the same situation then. Obviously, this job is going to put all of us in contact with pretty shady people. The entire company is bound to have at least one person that’s greedy enough to side with them.”

Taeyong nodded, opening his mouth to say something before being interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone. He dug around in his pocket before retrieving his phone, a confused look crossing his face.

He answered politely and you watched as the man’s face contorted and the phone fell from his hands. Taeyong picked up the glass in front of him, throwing it to the wall beside you and Jaehyun. You could only sit in shock and watch the glass shatter, ice and liquor mixing with the broken pieces on the floor. Jaehyun and Doyoung were instantly attempting to uncover the reason for the outburst as Taeyong paced back and forth in front of the couch, hands pulling frantically at his dark hair. The two other men fell silent as you all noticed the frantic mumbling spilling out of Taeyong’s mouth. 

The calm and composed CEO was crumbling before your very eyes in a way that you thought you would never see. He had let his guard down and dropped his stone cold demeanor for fractions of a second, but the sight before you was unlike anything that you had ever seen from anyone. You looked to Jaehyun just to find his own eyes filled with a panic as he watched his best friend spiral out of control.

When he turned to face the three of you, his eyes held a fury like none you had ever seen and tears streaked down his cheeks in cascading waterfalls.

“Mark’s dead. They fucking killed my brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna act like i didn't introduce mark as a character just to kill him off...
> 
> tell me what you think!  
> tumblr: lovingyong


	11. eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaehyun deals with the aftermath of the recent news and you do your best to console him while making your own adjustments

“Mark’s dead. They killed my fucking brother.” Taeyong cried, spite filling his voice. “They thought he was me. They thought-”

The man was cut off by Jaehyun pulling him into a hug. Taeyong instantly reached up and clung to his back, looking for anything to keep him grounded while his entire world crumbled around him.

Jaehyun pulled him closer to him, having to hold him up as you watched the older man’s legs buckle. “I’m going back to being your guard. You can stay here until we get a full security team together. Don’t worry about work. I can do everything from here tomorrow. I will not accept no as an answer.”

Taeyong nodded slowly and you took that as your signal to leave. This was way too much for any one person to handle and you knew that if you were in Taeyong’s position, you wouldn’t want someone you barely knew witnessing such a time of weakness. The entire empire he built was centered around his ability to act as an unsympathizing dictator. You couldn’t imagine it was easy for him to falter, especially at a time like this.

Doyoung stood and placed a hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder. “If you need anything, let me know. I’ll be back in the morning.”

He left the room while you followed quietly after him. It was only a few days ago that Taeyong had told you that Mark was his reason for everything. Mark was the reason he took the position and Mark was also the reason he tried to single-handedly reform the entire underground scene. You couldn’t even begin to fathom the pain he was in right now.

You slowly got ready for bed, washing your face when you heard Jaehyun open the door and begin digging through his dresser. He poked his head through the door, finding you drying off your face.

“Hey, I hope it’s okay I told him to stay here.” He spoke softly.

You looked at him, almost in disbelief. You would have expected nothing less from him in a situation like this. “No, I’m glad you did. I don’t want him alone right now.”

“Thank you. I know he hasn’t always been the kindest to you, but he’s been through a lot.”

“He’s your best friend, Jaehyun. I know he has to be a good person or you wouldn’t care for him like you do.” It was easy to believe because you had seen it. The last time you were in his office, he left snide remarks behind and genuinely made an attempt to help you, regardless of his initial distrust. His care for the ones close to him shone through regardless of his position.

Jaehyun walked over to you, pressing a slight kiss to your lips before taking a set of clothes to Taeyong in your guest bedroom. He left you in the bathroom while you stared at yourself in the mirror. A year ago, you would have never expected to be in this position. The things that you had gone through with Jaehyun were unimaginable to you as a simple reporter. It was one thing to give news on gang activity in Seoul because you were still removed from it. You could have all the information in the world and it wouldn’t change the fact that you could go home and brush it all off every night. You could bake cookies with your best friend and watch stupid movies and it was like nothing you talked about at work was even real.

Now, you sat in the middle of it. You knew more than the police and you would report on only half of the information. Coming home, you had to worry about whether or not you would get to greet the love of your life or if you would toss and turn all night waiting for him to come home safe from an assignment. Every single news piece from the day would play through your head and you would think about just how it could affect Jaehyun.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and noticed the way the dark circles hung under your eyes after you removed your concealer. Hair had fallen flat and your skin had paled from the stress and exhaustion. Loving Jaehyun definitely came with its consequences but you frequently chose to ignore them. While today was definitely abnormal, it was a reminder of what all could be. Things would only get harder from here on out and you knew that now was the time to choose to stand by his side or leave before you could become collateral.

Your mind drifted to the night where you first found out about Jaehyun and you once again knew that even with everything you have seen and everything you could face, there was only one choice for you. You knew you would never feel like you were living again if you left Jaehyun. Sure, realistically there were other options. There have always been other options, but none of them could come close to making you feel the way Jaehyun did.

You took a deep breath and finished getting ready for bed before you slid yourself into the silky sheets, staring up at the ceiling. You had no clue what this could mean for Jaehyun and the new dangers he would be up against if he really did go back to being Taeyong’s guard. Every single day he would be making himself a target by attaching himself to his best friend’s side. But that was the decision he made and you needed to support him in it.

Jaehyun walked through the door, closing it quietly behind him before joining you on the bed. You sat up and he pulled your hands into his lap.

“We need to talk.”

You froze where you were sitting. You had never heard those words and had it be a good thing. After you had just convinced yourself that nothing would matter as long as you had him, you were not about to let him push you out of his life for whatever bullshit reason he could come up with. “If you’re breaking up with me to keep me safe, I won’t accept it.”

He shook his head. “Unfortunately, I’m too selfish to ever let you go.”

“Then what is it?” You were relieved but still unsure of what he wanted from you.

“I need you to start carrying a gun. I’ll show you how to hide it properly and I’ll even print you up a fake license in case you get caught, but you have to have one on you at all times.”

All the training a few months ago and you could only hit the desired part of your target maybe twenty percent of the time. There was no way you were accurate enough to have such a lethal weapon on you, especially not when it was your job to be in frequent contact with the police. “I don’t think I’m a good enough shot for that, yet.”

“We’ll keep practicing. I just need you to have one. People may start watching you now. Especially if they ever see us together.” He ran one of his hands up and down your forearm.

“You said that a few months ago, but nothing’s happened.”

“___, things are much different now. Mark was killed because whoever did it thought it was Taeyong. Someone called him CEO to get his attention and the hitman took that as his cue. We got a letter to the office basically telling us to back off because they won.” That was what Taeyong meant when he said they thought Mark was him. The thought sent chills through your spine. It was devastating enough that Mark had passed, but what would have happened if they had succeeded in killing Taeyong?

“Jaehyun. I don’t know if I feel comfortable with you being glued to his side if he’s always going to have someone aiming for him. What’s going to stop them from just getting rid of you, too?”

“That’s always a possibility.”

You looked towards the door, unable to maintain eye contact any longer. Tears began to well in your eyes and you refused to think about the what if’s. Thinking about what could happen made your chest feel like it was caving in on itself. Jaehyun was the best shot in the country and surely he would be able to figure out how lesser hitmen strategized. It would be hard but you would have to trust him and his abilities.

He pulled your body into his lap, wrapping his arms around you and kissing the top of your forehead. “I’m sorry but this is what I have to do.”

You forced yourself to speak. “If something ever happens to you, I-”

“I’ll stay alive, even if it’s just for you.”

“You can’t make promises like that.”

“I’ve been hurt before and I’m still here.” He pointed your face towards him. “As long as you’re by my side, I have something to live for. We have years ahead of us and I won’t let a single thing cut that short.”

You leaned up to catch his lips with yours. “I’m so scared.” You whispered.

“I am, too. I’ve never had anything to lose before.”

You buried your face in his neck. You needed to change the subject before you absolutely broke down. You knew he wouldn’t put himself in this situation unless it had to be done. “How are you handling everything? If you were close to Taeyong, you had to have been somewhat close to Mark.” You reached up to wipe the stray tears that managed to slip out. Jaehyun caught your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing your knuckles gingerly.

He pulled you closer into him. “He was like a brother to me. I know it’ll hit me soon, but right now I’m too focused on taking care of everyone else to think about how I might feel.”

“Take a break if you need one. Your needs are important, too.” You reminded him, reaching around with one arm to rub his back in slow circles. He needed to be taken care of too whether or not he ever admitted it.

“I don’t have time.”

You felt his phone ring in his pocket and he shifted you slightly to pull it out and answer it. He sighed looking at the screen. 

“It’s Johnny. Give me a second.” He pressed his phone up to his ear and gave his greeting. You were close enough that you were able to hear the man on the other line.

“Hey, man. I just heard the news. Is everything okay?” Johnny asked, concern lacing his voice.

“Not really, but it will be.”

You heard rustling from the receiver. “I was thinking of sending something to Taeyong’s place but I remembered the only one who knows where he lives is you.”

“That’s a very kind gesture, but he’ll be staying with me for the time being.” Jaehyun avoided the implied question.

“Oh, okay.” Johnny froze momentarily. “You don’t think he’ll mind if I drop by?”

“Surely not, but I would give it a few days. He’s still processing everything right now” Jaehyun looked towards the door and his grip around your waist tightened. 

“Yeah, you’re right. Well, I’ll let you go. Please tell Taeyong to call me if he needs anything.”

“Of course. Thanks for calling, Johnny.” He hung up, tossing his phone on the bed and letting out a deep sigh.

“That was nice of him.” You commented. It was hard to read Jaehyun’s face at the moment and it was concerning that you didn’t know what he was thinking.

“I guess so, but I don’t know. I think Taeyong is starting to wear off on me because I just don’t trust anyone right now.”   
You kissed his jaw, loosening his tie and taking it off. “I think your emotions are just running high. Why don’t you get changed and come to bed? You probably need to rest.” 

You climbed out of his lap and allowed him to go get out of his suit. His movements were so slow, signaling just how much this day affected him. Jaehyun was never one to let on to the stresses he experienced, but you liked to think you knew him well enough to tell when things were particularly hard. 

He finally slipped on a pair of sweatpants before making his way back to you on the bed. You propped yourself on your knees and signaled for him to sit in front of you. His head fell forward as your thumbs kneaded into his shoulders. You gently worked at the knots that accumulated in the muscles of his upper back. 

“Baby, why don’t you and Taeyong just take the day off tomorrow. It won’t do you any good to try and figure all of this out with your head in this state.” If he was even starting to doubt Johnny, he wasn’t in the right mindset to try and take down a rival gang. Working right now would do more harm than good for everyone involved.

"I don’t know. I don’t have-”

“Don’t say you don’t have time.” You interrupted him. “You have all the time in the world. The two of you are safe here. Let them think they won for a few days before you just jump back in with no plan.”

“I guess they don’t know that they killed the wrong one yet, do they?” Jaehyun sighed. 

“No. They’ll probably spend a while celebrating. Don’t rush back into a war that they think has ended.”

“Fuck, I’m just so…” Jaehyun clenched his fists and you dropped your hands from his shoulders. “There’s someone in that office that we trusted, ___. We trusted them enough to let them into the most important part of the company and they sold us out. I’ll fucking kill whoever did it myself.”

“Jae-”

“No. There is nothing anyone could say or do that could fix this. Mark is dead because of them. He didn’t do shit and he’s the one who had to die. It should have been me or Taeyong.”

“But it wasn’t and I’m thankful for that.”

“Taeyong is going to blame himself for this for the rest of his life and it’s all because some grimy shithead got greedy and wanted more than the millions a year he was making working for us.” Jaehyun stood up walking towards the door. “I need a drink and some fresh air.”

You got up to follow him before he stopped you, hand reaching out behind him. “Just… let me be alone right now, please. I’m not thinking straight and the last thing I want is to take it out on you.”

About thirty minutes passed before Jaehyun joined you again, sliding into bed behind you, whiskey hanging lightly on his breath. He pressed a kiss to your neck. 

“Thank you. For all that you are and all that you’ve done.”

You shifted in his hold so that you were now facing him. “I have done nothing but be there for you.”

“And no one has ever done that before. Not as consistently as you.” He kissed your forehead before pulling you into his chest. “Let’s get some rest.”

Maybe it was because it with you or maybe it was because he had just a few glasses of whiskey. Either way, Jaehyun found sleep quickly and it helped lull you to sleep along with him.

* * *

You woke up in the morning and reached for Jaehyun’s phone, turning off all his alarms in hopes of allowing him to sleep in. You walked to the kitchen, both phones in hand and attempted to make breakfast for the two men that you were forcing under your care. Setting your phone on the counter, you kept Jaehyun’s in hand in order to shoot Doyoung a quick message requesting him to not come in today. Everyone could benefit from a break and you hoped Jaehyun wouldn’t be too upset with you for interfering with his work.

You were thankful it was the weekend so you didn’t have to report on Mark’s passing. The ties to the story would have made the news hard to deliver and the last thing you wanted is to possibly reveal Jaehyun through a moment of weakness.

Turning on the stove you began to cook something moderately edible. Jaehyun was usually the one who did all the cooking but today you didn’t want him to have to worry about. You figured eggs, bacon, and some toast should be easy enough so you started on that. You got Taeyong’s plate ready first, planning on just leaving it on the nightstand for when he woke up. You could make your own breakfast and take it to you and your boyfriend in bed later.

Walking to the guest bedroom, you knocked lightly at the door.

“Come in.” You heard Taeyong’s voice call from the other side.

Once you opened the door, you found Taeyong sitting up in the bed, staring at the wall directly in front of him with an unwavering gaze. His eyes were completely bloodshot and sunken in front a night of probably no rest. His fists clenched the comforter beside him, knuckles white from the grip.

“I know you probably aren’t hungry, but I made you some food.”

“I appreciate it, but I don’t think I can eat right now.” He still didn’t look at you but you noticed the tears building up in his eyes once again. You moved to set the plate down on the nightstand before turning to leave the room.

“Do you mind staying? Just for a bit. I think if I’m alone too much longer, I may explode.”

You nodded and moved to sit at the end of the bed. Looking at him hurt. You somehow felt all of his pain when you watched the strong man you held such an array of emotions for wither into something you hardly recognized.

“I have no idea what the fuck I’m going to do.” His voice cracked and you watched his hands release the blanket just to rub at his face.

“Taeyong, you don’t always have to know what to do.”

“I do. I do have to always know what to do. This entire company is mine now and I’m sitting in bed mourning something I can’t change.” His voice was weak and unsure. No one person should have to carry a weight this heavy, especially not after a loss.

“You’re mourning your brother.” You reminded him. “It’s not just some slip up that can be ignored and moved past. You lost family.”

“I lost my only family.” Taeyong snapped. “My father never gave a shit about us and my mother saw us as some burden that kept her from her social life. He was all I had.”

You weren't sure what to say. You knew that he didn’t have a lot just from the brief conversation in his office when you met Mark, but this was something you weren’t sure how to respond to.

“Jaehyun became family to me and I fucked everything up just because I was scared of you. I have nothing now. I have no one.” He pulled his legs to his chest and at that moment the biggest CEO in Seoul looked like nothing but a small boy. Jaehyun’s t-shirt was too big on him and he sat in the middle of a bed that could easily fit four. The heavy blankets swallowed his lithe frame. You saw a child before you who had finally lost all hope.

“You didn’t fuck everything up. Jaehyun still cares about you. He wanted you to stay here and he’s becoming your guard again. Why would he do that if he didn’t care about you?”

Taeyong laughed, sorrow laying such a heavy contrast to the sound. “Because he’s a good person, ___. It has nothing to do with the state of our relationship. Think about how you met. That man would care for anyone in need.”

You shook your head. Jaehyun cared for people but you knew his care for Taeyong was deeper than the others that surrounded him. There had been difficulties in their relationship, but you knew Jaehyun was too loyal to back down just because of that. He always tried to see Taeyong’s side, even when he didn’t want to. “You’re hurting right now and you have every right to be. Mark was your brother. But don’t turn away kindness when it’s sincere.”

He finally looked at you, eyes heavy from lack of sleep. “I don’t know who to trust anymore. Out of everyone on that floor, I only feel safe with two people. How am I supposed to lead this entire company when I can’t even lead half. No one wants to work for me.”

“Taeyong, that’s not true. And you definitely got the more difficult side of things. You aren’t giving yourself enough credit.”

“I see the way they look at me, ___. I hear the way they talk about me. They’re all so thankful to be under Mark. Hell, I would want to be under Mark too with how much of an asshole I am.”

Jaehyun opened the door, interrupting whatever Taeyong was going to say next. “I didn’t want to intrude because I know you don’t want my pity right now, but I refuse to sit here and listen to you tear yourself down when you have enough on your plate. Taeyong, I’m not doing this because I feel like I have to, I’m doing this because I do not know what I would do if I lost you. I have you and I have ___. That’s it. If you go down, I’m going down with you. That’s the promise I made when I joined this company. That’s the promise I made to you.”

Taeyong looked at Jaehyun, tears steadily flowing at this point. “Jaehyun, how am I supposed to do this alone. I couldn’t even handle the portion I had.”

Jaehyun walked further into the room, sitting down next to Taeyong. “I just said I’m with you. You aren’t doing this alone.”

“I can’t ask that of you.”

“You didn’t ask, I offered.” Jaehyun countered. You knew that once Jaehyun decided what he was going to do, there was no changing his mind.

“What do you want me to do? Promote you to CEO?”

“Unofficially. Let me take on part of your workload but don’t give me the title just yet. We don’t need to give them another target. Once we take them down, you can officially give me the title.”

“That’s a huge risk.” You silently agreed. Jaehyun taking this position was basically putting his life on the line, but you knew there was nothing you could say or do.

“Anything moving forward at this point is a risk. Don’t make yourself go through this alone. No one needs to know except you, me, and Doyoung.”

Taeyong cracked the smallest smile. “You sure it’s not just for the pay raise?”

“Oh no, that’s definitely the only reason I’m doing it. I’m dirt poor. You don’t pay me enough.” He gestured around the room to emphasize his joke. 

Taeyong let out what could only resemble a laugh in the position he was in. “Fuck. Okay.”

Jaehyun clapped once, rubbing his hands together. “So, are we gonna figure out how to take down these bastards or what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end is coming soon! i'd say about 4-5 chapters i'm not too sure yet. very very bittersweet
> 
> tell me what you think!  
> tumblr: lovingyong


	12. twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> with the chaos surrounding the upcoming funeral, you decide that maybe a few days away would be good for you and jaehyun both.

In just a couple of days, Taeyong had managed to get himself back on his feet and working. It seemed like he and Jaehyun were an unstoppable duo as they say in the living room every day and discussed various plans for what the next step could be. You would come home to find them sitting in the same spot that they were when you left that morning. You were nervous for Jaehyun to be taking on this responsibility, but you noticed how stepping up to this position somehow made him less stressed. He was back to understanding his best friend now that they were working side by side. Taeyong no longer had to hide things from Jaehyun and he also no longer had to go about anything alone. **  
**

Despite how smoothly things had been going, Mark’s funeral was coming up tomorrow. Within a few days, you were able to pick up on Taeyong’s mannerisms and way of existing. He was a man of consistency and you found that he was actually quite predictable which made you question how he did his job so well. His predictability was how you noticed the way his feet dragged this morning. He slowly sipped on coffee while he attempted to listen to his best friend discuss the week’s plans. His focus was lacking and his usual posture was gone, replaced with a slight slouch and slightly drooping shoulders. You knew Jaehyun noticed it too because of the way his voice changed. He spoke to him softly and offered plenty of breaks while Taeyong consistently refused.  

It wasn’t something easy to watch. You weren’t very close to the man, but it was still heartbreaking to watch him try and process all this information. Most people would be able to have a few days off work to mourn, but Taeyong didn’t have the same luxury. It was now his life that was on the line if he and Jaehyun didn’t come to a solution soon.

You walked into your bedroom after work and pulled out a small overnight bag. Watching the two men fight for Taeyong’s life through strategies and schemes was taxing even just as an observer. You knew that emotions would be running high tonight and all through tomorrow, giving you an excuse to get out and separate yourself for just a short time. You wanted to be there for Jaehyun, but it didn’t really feel like you could be since he asked you not to attend the funeral. It might just be best for you to let them grieve alone. Taeyong had no one now so he would need Jaehyun. You didn’t want to interfere with that.

You got out your phone and dialed Sooyeon, hoping she would pick up since it was around the time she usually worked on her paintings.

“Well, well, well. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You answered.” You acknowledged.

“Oh, that’s because I just finished this huge piece I was working on so now I’m going to go sleep for 800 years.”

“Oh.” You mumbled, chewing on your nail. If she was going to be asleep, the last thing you wanted was to disturb her. You knew how hard she worked and how little sleep she got.

“Okay, what’s wrong? You never act like this when I talk about finishing a painting.” You did tend to be a lot more supportive once hearing about the completion of a project. The lack of enthusiasm now was practically a dead give away.

“I was just gonna ask to stay with you tonight and tomorrow but-”  
She interrupted you. “Nope, no buts. Come over now and we can watch a movie.”

“You need to sleep.” You countered.

“Yeah. I’ll sleep through the movie. You like boring stuff.” She teased.

You laughed. “Okay, I have my bag packed already.”

“Perfect. Are you sure it’s only for a couple of nights?”

You understood the true meaning behind her question. “Yes, everything’s fine. I just need a girl’s night... or two.”

“Okay. I’ll expect you to really explain when you get here. And just know, you always have a place to stay since I haven’t filled your room and probably never will!”

“Yeah, yeah.” You said, hanging up and slinging your bag over your shoulder.

You turned around to find Jaehyun in the doorway, looking at you with brows furrowed. “Are you leaving?”

“I’m just going to stay with Sooyeon for a couple of nights.” You walked over and kissed his cheek, preparing to make your exit but Jaehyun grabbed your arm gently, pulling you back to him.

“Did I upset you?”

“No. I just know the funeral is tomorrow and I have a feeling Taeyong may slip back. I want you to be able to be there for each other right now. I’ll be back the day after the funeral.”

He nodded, taking in the information. “You would tell me if it was because of me, right? I know I’ve been working a lot so-”

“Baby, it’s fine. I’m not upset about anything. I just want Taeyong to be able to grieve in peace. You, too. I know you also lost someone close to you. I’ll come back if you need me.”

He gave you a quick kiss before letting you walk out the door. You had every intention of staying with him and going to the funeral, but when you mentioned the idea, Jaehyun told you he didn’t want you to be spotted with him. There would most definitely be people watching the attendants to look for possible heirs to the position. Having someone be seen with the company’s main hitman would put a target on your back. You hated that you couldn’t be there for him during but if not going gave him peace of mind, you forced yourself to be okay with that.

You walked into your old apartment with ease thanks to Sooyeon leaving the door unlocked. “You should really lock this door.” You yelled as you turned to deadbolt it.

“I knew you were coming so I didn’t worry about it.” She yelled back and you were thankful. When you found the door unlocked, your mind raced to the worst case scenario. You knew that Sooyeon didn’t have any connections to that side but you had seen too much to have that not been where your mind jumped.

“So,” Sooyeon came up behind you, grabbing your bag. “For what reason are you really here for a couple of nights in the middle of the week. Surely no trouble in paradise.”

“No. Jaehyun is wonderful.” You reassured her. “It’s just that Mark’s funeral is tomorrow and Taeyong has been staying with us so I thought they may need some time alone to mourn without me being there.”

“I take it you’re talking about the CEO’s funeral. Taeyong is Jaehyun’s boss, right? Are they close or something?”

You nodded. “They’re best friends. Taeyong and Mark are like family to him.”

“Do you not feel like you should be there with him?”

“He asked that I not come.” You said, dropping down on the couch you used to spend hours on.

“What? Why?” Sooyeon sat on the arm, looking at you confused. “You’re his girlfriend. Why would he not want you there?”

“It’s hard to explain. That company is so locked tight and they’re very very strict on outsiders. I’m on a need to know basis and that’s it.” It was the most information you could give her and even that didn’t really answer all the questions you were sure she had.

“What all is included in the need to know category?”

“Whether or not Jaehyun will be coming home that night.”

She let out a low whistle. “I remember you saying his job was pretty secretive, but this is another level. Are you sure he’s not working for the government or something?”

“Positive. But I don’t know. Everything has been so crazy lately, I thought it would be nice to have a break anyway.”

“I won’t pry. I really won’t. I just thought Jaehyun was the dream man.” She slid from the arm to join you on the couch, grabbing a blanket and draping it over the two of you.

“He is. But everyone has their flaws. I would rather it be this way instead of some huge character flaw that I have to wonder is a deal breaker.”

“Do you think his job ever could be a deal breaker?”

“At first, I really thought it would end us.” You admitted. She would never know the extent of what you meant, but it didn’t change just how true the words were. “Now, it’s just kind of like every time I think about life without him, I realize it wouldn’t be worth it.”

“Ew, that’s way too sappy for me.” She teased before looking at you from the side, voice lowered. “I’m glad to know you two are okay.”

“Thanks.” You cleared your throat. “What movie are we supposed to be watching so you can go to sleep? You look like you haven’t slept in three weeks.”

Sooyeon’s eyes had dark circles underneath unlike anything you had ever seen from her. She was very clearly working herself to the bone to finish this piece and you were thankful that it was finally completed so she could take what was obviously a much-needed break.

“Now that you’re here, I don’t know if I want to sleep. I haven’t seen you in so long.” She drew out the last sentence in her typical dramatic fashion.

“We still have tomorrow night which just so happens to be a Friday.”

“I guess so… I’m assuming you’re working tomorrow?”

“Yeah, but I’ll be home early. I’m not doing the night segment because they want me to do day tomorrow.”

“It’s probably to cover the funeral.” Sooyeon acknowledged, picking at the paint on her fingers.

You looked at her, realization dawning on you. “Surely they won’t be covering that. It’s a private funeral.”

“___. The biggest CEO in Seoul was killed. They’re going to cover his funeral. You had to have known this.”

“I had a feeling. I think I was just hoping it wouldn’t be that way. It feels so disrespectful now that it’s someone I know.” You mumbled while you played with your own hands. 

“It’s a little invasive, but the news usually is.” Your best friend mused.

You laid back on the couch, reaching for the remote and searching through channels. The comment replayed in your mind over and over while you thought about all the different stories you’ve covered over the years. People’s lives were put on display for all to see and you had never thought twice about it. “I know you’re right. How have I been reporting this whole time and never seen a problem with any of the stories?”

“It’s easy to think it’s not a big deal when it doesn’t affect you personally. You’re not a bad person for being a reporter. People have to find out about stuff somehow.”

You sat for a minute, still channel surfing and finding nothing that could possibly hold your interest. “I may sleep, too.”

“Yeah, not to be rude but you kind of look like shit. I think going to bed at 9 would be good for both of us.”

“Yeah, I haven’t been sleeping.” You admitted. “It’s just been scary lately. Mark was killed and no one knows why. I don’t want something similar to happen to Jaehyun.”

“They still don’t know the reason? I’ve been trying to keep up with the story since it’s so wild, but I was hoping you would know something that wasn’t released yet.”

You knew the reason why as well as a safe assumption as to who did it, but you couldn’t exactly explain the situation to Sooyeon. At least not very easily. “The police can’t find who did it. It’s hard to know why without the person responsible.”

“That is scary. I’m so sorry.” She rubbed your leg.

“It’s fine. They’ve been working from home for the time being and that’s helped me a lot.”

You pulled out your phone, not wanting to bother Jaehyun but also wanting to let him know that you would be there so he could plan accordingly.

_You: I’ll be reporting on the funeral tomorrow…_

_Jaehyun: It will be nice to have you there even though you can’t be next to me_

You were starting to regret leaving him tonight, but it could be beneficial for the two of you to be apart so you didn’t continue to act like everything was fine when it clearly was not. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to be there for him and not be affected by all the weight that came with his job. You were constantly having to remind yourself that he is not his job and that the two of you could make it through this. Jaehyun made it all worth it but in times like this where his attention was so split, it was hard to hold out hope. You needed to know that once this funeral passed and everything with the out of control gang was under control, you could live a somewhat normal life. However, with Jaehyun stepping up to the plate to become the new CEO, you didn’t know how realistic that dream was.

You rubbed your face in your hands while your best friend watched. “You definitely need some rest. It looks like you’re about to pass out.”

You nodded silently, looking towards your old bedroom door.

“Your old sheets and comforter are still there. Go get some rest.”

You stood up quietly and made your way towards the door, stopping in the doorway to look around the room. All of your decorations remained seeing as you had no need for them at Jaehyun’s apartment. You could almost picture what life would be like if you had never met him. Work would continue all the same and your life was free of any excitement. Your thoughts then drifted to what it would be like if you left now and returned to the safety of normalcy.

As the tears streamed down your face you realized that you really never could turn back. With the possibility of running staring you right in the face in the form of your old bed in your old room, it was so blatantly obvious that you could never want it. You hated that you thought so much about leaving lately, but it was hard not to when everyone around you got to have a normal life while your boyfriend stayed out late killing people.

You slouched to the floor and finally let exhaustion overtake your body. You were physically, mentally, and emotionally tired. If Jaehyun were to see you in this state, you couldn’t imagine the blame he would place on himself when it was your decision to stay in the middle of the chaos. You chose it every day even when everything around you told you to run as far as humanly possible.

Your phone started ringing next to you and you picked it up, recognizing the name through blurred vision. You wiped at the tears frantically, trying to calm yourself down before you answered.

“Hey.” You tried desperately to keep your voice steady. “Do you need me to come home?”

Jaehyun responded instantly. “No. Take a break, you deserve it. I just didn’t feel right going to bed without telling you I love you.” His constant kindness was so overwhelming. Hearing his words, you were drawn to tears once again while guilt washed over you for even thinking about leaving him.

“I love you.” A choked sob slipped out at the words when you thought about just how much weight they carried.

“I won’t ask because I know you’re going to lie, so I’ll say it instead. You’re not okay.” His comforting voice brought a wave of peace even if it was just through the phone. He always spoke without judgment or pity. His voice only ever carried a tone of patience and affection.

“No.” You admitted quietly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what? Not take the job that you insisted on having?” You knew that it wasn’t an option. While Jaehyun was respectful of you and liked to get your opinion on things, once his mind was made up he was a force to be reckoned with. Not to mention, he seemed so adamant about taking the position, even Taeyong gave into him.

“Baby, I promise I’ll actually have more time this way.”

While having more time with him would be nice, that wasn’t your top concern.

“It’s not that.”

“What is it?”

“What if you’re the one who gets killed next?” Saying it out loud brought you to tears once more. Just the thought of it was enough to absolutely shatter your heart.

Jaehyun didn’t answer for a bit while your thoughts raced through your head. You knew he could be next and there was nothing either of you could do to change it. You had to remind yourself that he was constantly in danger and this was nothing new. “I wish I could tell you I won’t be, but I can’t make that promise.”

“Is this what you feel like all the time?”

“What?”

“Scared.” You explained before dropping your voice to a whisper. “Jae, I’m so scared.”

“Yes. I am so fucking scared of losing you, it feels like my chest could cave in on itself.” He took a deep breath signaling that he was probably in a similar state as you right now.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you and I hate that. I hate that I have no control over anything and I just have to sit and watch as you throw yourself in harm’s way every single day.” The confession spilled out in hurried words and the truth was out before you could censor it.

“I’ve been more careful because I want to come home to you.”

You squeezed your eyes shut and fully laid down on the floor. You wanted him to always come home to you and knowing that it wasn’t a guarantee was a hard thing to cope with. “Be safe tomorrow.”

“___.”

“What?”

“I love you. I know this is hard and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was too selfish to not let you go that first morning. I’m sorry I’m putting you through this.”

“I told you the very first night I found out. I chose this. I will continue choosing this for as long as you’ll have me.”

Jaehyun was quiet for a bit before he spoke again. “I wish I could be there right now.”

“Be with Taeyong. You and I can talk about this any time. Your best friend just lost his brother and has to face it tomorrow.”

“You put everyone above yourself. Put yourself first for once.”

“Now’s not the time.” While putting yourself first sounded nice, you had to put your needs on the backburner until this entire situation could be dealt with properly.

“Taeyong’s going home Saturday morning. Call in sick Monday and we’ll figure out all of this together.”

“Will he be safe to go home?” It would be nice to have him out of the house, but the last thing you wanted was for something to happen to him in the middle of the already stressful time. Not to mention the effect it would have on Jaehyun.

“Doyoung is moving in with him until all of this dies down.”

You were about to suggest that he could have just stayed with the two of you but you took Jaehyun’s advice and put yourself first for the first time in a while. Your bitterness and rage towards Taeyong was long gone, but it didn’t mean that his constant presence was necessarily welcome. It was definitely taking a toll on your relationship to have Jaehyun’s attention divided all hours of the day. It would be better for him to keep his work life private, which is what he wanted from the beginning.

“Okay. I need to get some rest but I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow. I may not be able to be inside with you, but I’ll be there.”

“Hey, no one at your office knows we’re together, right?” Jaehyun asked.

“No. I don’t really talk to anyone at work,” you admitted. There wasn’t a lot of people you interacted with anyway. “Plus, I figured it wouldn’t be the best idea to tell people in the news that I’m dating the PR rep for the biggest company in South Korea.”

“Okay good. I just don’t want you to get swarmed tomorrow.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Get some sleep. I probably need to, too.” He hung up and you were left feeling significantly better than you were before. The stress still sat heavy on your shoulders, but you knew there had to be an end to it soon if Taeyong was comfortable enough to go back home. The thought gave you the strength to push through.

You slowly made your way to your bed after calming down and greeted sleep almost instantaneously thanks to the comfort of the familiar room.

* * *

Cameramen set up various stands and lights around you as you untangle the cord to your microphone. The funeral was supposed to be starting in about thirty minutes and people were filing into the memorial center as various news stations crowded the front. It felt incredibly disrespectful to publicize people’s mourning like this but there was nothing you could do about it. You would rather be reporting on the story that another reporter that would lack the tactfulness you had towards the situation. Having to deal with Simon in the middle of the story would be hard enough.

You kept your eye out for Taeyong and Jaehyun. You wouldn’t be able to greet them, but eye contact would suffice for you just to let Jaehyun know you were there for him. You saw a simple black car pull up while a man walked to the door to open it. An older woman got out followed by Taeyong and Jaehyun. You assumed the woman was Taeyong’s mother. You couldn’t see if they bore any likeness because of the outrageous and, in your opinion, an inappropriate hat that was settled at the top of an elaborate updo. She wore a simple black wrap dress and black heels which had signature red soles. She walked ahead while Taeyong and Jaehyun walked together, side by side. Jaehyun looked towards you, giving a small nod in your direction. You offered him a small smile in return before turning your attention back to your crew.

“Who’s the guy with the CEO? Do you know him?” One of the cameramen, Yejun, asked you and you assumed he noticed the small exchange.

“Head of PR. His name is Jaehyun, I think. I’ve been to a couple of his press conferences and we’ve spoken briefly.” You lied. It was believable seeing as you went to many of Lee’s announcements and conferences to cover any new advancements they chose to reveal. It wasn’t unheard of for the representatives to speak to the reporters and news teams to answer any questions and provide clarifications before the story was aired.

“He must be close with the CEO to arrive in the same car as the family,” Yejun observed.  
“Guess so.” You looked back towards the door in time to see them walk in.

“Maybe we’ll get more information after the service.”

He nodded, accepting your lack of knowledge as a good enough answer and continued to set up. “We’ll be live in ten.”

“They couldn’t wait until the service started? It feels rude to be giving the story while people are still walking in.”

“I agree, but Simon wants to air it now.”

“Of course.” You rolled your eyes, finding your place to stand while the man set up the teleprompter, pulling up the script you had written for yourself this morning. You ran through it quickly while silently hoping that Simon wouldn’t ask any of his ridiculous questions. You hardly thought that now was the time for his time wasting inquiries.

You heard Simon’s voice prompting the airing of your segment and you took a deep breath before delivering what you hoped to be a tactful piece about Mark’s passing. You recounted what the public already knew, mentioning the way he was killed and how there were no current suspects or known reason. You also made sure to mention that there was no one in line to take the current position, leaving Taeyong to lead the company on his own. The statement could put an even bigger target on his back, but you knew how desperately they wanted to keep Jaehyun’s new position private.

You heard Simon’s voice once you had finished your statement. “How could there not be anyone in line to take the position? One man can’t run the whole company himself.”

You always found the wording of his questions to be unprofessional. Suppressing the sigh you longed to let out, you answered politely. “The brothers’ father ran the company by himself. The only reason there were two CEOs was because he split the company between his two sons. It was done before and they believe that it can be done again. The company ensures that Taeyong will be fully capable of taking on the extra workload and will ask for help if necessary.”

“What if there is a designated predecessor in the will?” Simon combatted.

“The family has asked to keep the reading of the will private. I’m sure the company will announce in due time whether or not Mark passed his company to someone besides his brother.” It was hard to keep the sarcastic tone out of your voice but at the same time, this could not be a more ridiculously worded series of questions. 

“Alright, well thank you, ___, for always keeping us updated,” Simon responded, clearly unamused by the tone in your voice.

You knew the camera had cut away so you walked over to the crew and handed them the mic. Yejun accepted it and looked at you. “Is it just me or is he always such a dick?”

“It’s not just you. I’m waiting for him to finally get in trouble, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen. Some people like him and say he’s brutally honest.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s ridiculous. I just hate the way he talks to you like you’re stupid. Like the whole thing about how the current CEO couldn’t run things by himself? He does know that most companies only have one CEO and just have a team of advisors, right?”

You laughed. “That’s what I was thinking but I couldn’t say that out loud. And I’m used to him acting that way towards me. I know that I’m the one that is in charge of all the scripts so if anyone’s stupid, it’s him.”

He nodded. “I guess you’re right. Well, good work today. I think you get to go home now.”

“I think so, too. I’ll see you next week.”

You waved goodbye to the man and the rest of the crew as you got your stuff together and left the scene. You had always liked Yejun. Knowing he hated Simon just as much as you did was just an added bonus to the somewhat friendship you had formed since you started working at the station. You tried to make polite conversation with everyone you worked with, but he was the only one that you actively talked to.

Stopping at a street vendor, you picked up enough food for you and Sooyeon and made your way back to your apartment. Your phone rang in your pocket and you pulled it out, not recognizing the number, you answered anyway.

“Hello?”

A deep voice echoed through the receiver. “Hey, it’s Johnny. This is ___, right?”

You were confused as to why Johnny would be calling you. “Yeah. What’s up? How did you get my number?”

“Jaehyun gave it to me. Do you happen to know what time Jaehyun and Taeyong will be home today? Also, can you send me his address again? It’s been so long since I’ve been over there.” He laughed.

You thought that you recognized his voice but you weren’t sure. You quickly thought of a way to get out of giving the information. With the current state the company was in, you didn’t want to just be freely handing out information on Taeyong’s whereabouts. “I’m actually staying with my old roommate for the time being so I’m really not sure. Are you not at the funeral?”

“No. The only people Taeyong allowed in were Jae and Doyoung.” His cheerful tone dropped momentarily. “I was a little bummed I couldn’t be there for him but I get it.”

You couldn’t remember if you had seen anyone else from the company enter the funeral seeing as you were only looking for Jaehyun. Doyoung managed to slip in without you noticing so it was possible that other employees were there, too. “Okay. I wish I could be more help but I think it would be better to just ask Jaehyun and he’ll probably give you his address. I’m sorry. Maybe text him and he can answer when he gets out of the service?”

“You’re right. I just didn’t want to bother him. I know he and Taeyong are going through a lot right now so I was just gonna drop off some food.”

“That’s very sweet of you and I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.” You fumbled with your keys, looking for the one that Sooyeon had insisted you keep. “Well, I’ll talk to you later. I hope you’re able to get ahold of him.”

“Yes. Thank you, ___. I appreciate you trying.” 

He hung up and you felt bad for being so suspicious of the man. He had always been kind to Jaehyun and was very supportive of your relationship when you couldn’t say the same for others in the company. You blamed your unusual amount of suspicion on your repeated lack of sleep.

You walked into the old apartment to find all the furniture pushed to the side and a huge plastic tarp filling the middle of the room while Sooyeon stood above a large canvas. She turned to face you, dropping her paintbrush and throwing her hands in the air. “___! You’re back! I thought you would be gone for so much longer.”

“Nope. We found out the reading of the will would be kept private until further notice so I got to leave.” You flopped down onto the couch behind her. “Are you trying something new?”

“Kind of? I don’t really know what I’m doing and I think it’s exciting.”

“You must have slept well last night.” You observed. Her typical cheery attitude was back and she seemed to be much more relaxed than she was last night.

“Babe, I just woke up. I feel like a whole new woman.” She plopped down on the floor in front of her canvas and dipped her brush into the paint.

You wished you could feel the same. You woke up multiple times throughout the night thanks to a wide variety of nightmares. There had to be a way to relieve the stress you had been carrying around without constantly venting to Jaehyun. He had his own stress to worry about without him having to take care of you. All you wanted was to go home and be with him, but you knew you were making the right decision by being here another night.

Your phone rang once again and you noticed Jaehyun’s name. The funeral must be over for him to be calling you. “I have to take this. There’s food on the counter. Go ahead and start eating. I’ll be out in a second.”

You walked to your old room, answering the phone. “Hey, how is everything.”

“Not good,” Jaehyun admitted, voice shaky. “I just needed to talk to you.”

“I’m so sorry, Jae. Do you want me to come home?” It’s not that you didn’t want to be with him, you just wanted to give Taeyong the space he needed.

“Yes, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. Taeyong is completely out of control. He’s broken a lot of stuff so I think it’ll be better if you just stay there.” As if on cue, you heard glass breaking followed by what you could only assume was Taeyong’s pained sobs. “Doyoung’s with me trying to calm him down.”

“I had a feeling he wouldn’t handle it well.” You responded, moving to sit on your bed. You saw how he reacted when he first heard the news and that was before he even had a chance to process the reality of the situation.

Jaehyun sighed. “It really doesn’t doesn’t help that his mother is a deadbeat who threw a fit about everything being left to Taeyong.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was. She caused a scene in the middle of the reading.” You heard shattering once again.

“Her son was just killed and all she cares about is how much money she’ll be getting?” You couldn’t imagine someone being so careless that they were that focused on material possessions.

“Taeyong said she’s always been like this. His dad gave her enough money to support herself and passed everything else onto his sons. He said they would have gotten a divorce but she would have done anything she could to ruin the company’s reputation, including leaking the information about all the illegal activity.”

“Wow, she’s…” You struggled to find words to accurately describe what you thought of her.

“A bitch? Yeah. That would be putting it lightly.”

You thought about the state Jaehyun was in when he answered the phone. It was obvious from the unsteadiness in his voice that he had been crying and instead of having that time, he had to watch his best friend fall apart. You changed the subject off of Taeyong’s mother and back onto your boyfriend.“I feel like you’re not getting a chance to mourn like you should.”

“I am. It’s just all very internal right now. Taeyong will be back in his apartment tomorrow with Doyoung and I can figure out how I’m feeling then.” You heard another crash followed by yelling from Doyoung. “I think Taeyong may have gotten hurt. I’ll just see you tomorrow.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You walked back out to the living room to find that Sooyeon’s canvas already had a variety of colors forming rough outlines of facial features. “Is everything okay?” she asked as her paintbrush swept paint across an empty space.

“Yeah. Jaehyun is just worried about Taeyong, but it’ll be okay.”

She looked at you, unconvinced by your attempt at glossing over the situation.“We should do something fun like make some cookies and paint.”

“Sooyeon, I don’t paint.” You said blankly. You had always watched her paint, but you had never once participated.

“Paint on this canvas with me. I was making something to hang up in here so I would love if you helped me with it.” She handed you a brush and encouraged you to sit down next to her. “I don’t care if it sucks.” She teased.

“If I mess this up-”

“___. Enough. This is for me and me only. It’s just supposed to be fun. Not everything has to be perfect. None of my stuff ever is and it sells just fine.”

You nodded. “I’m so stressed out.”

“I can tell. Just relax for a minute. We can eat your street food and make cookies and go buy ice cream. You need to relax before you go back home to your boyfriend and start playing caretaker all over again. This is you time right now. Put yourself first.”

“Jaehyun said the same thing.” You mumbled.

“I knew I like him.” She wagged her paintbrush at you. “Go get changed. Sooyeon’s relaxation boot camp starts now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i may be transitioning to an update every other week just with how crazy school has been but we're coming to an end soon!!!!!! im very sad about it but expect a spinoff for taeyong's story ;)
> 
> tell me what you think! tumblr: lovingyong


	13. thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you and jaehyun spend your anniversary together after jaehyun finally comes to terms with his loss.

Sooyeon’s boot camp ended up just consisting of getting wine drunk and spilling paint all over the clear tarp covering the hardwood floor. It was a much needed day of relaxation but it had significantly less structure than you’re sure your best friend intended. You somehow managed to keep your mouth shut about your struggles once under the influence which was a miracle considering how much of a loud mouth you could be while intoxicated.

You woke up the next morning to a pounding headache and the annoyingly high pitch of your phone going off. You squinted through the light, dismissing the way your head pounded while you searched your phone. Jaehyun had texted you saying he would be there in a few hours to pick you up. You groaned knowing just what all you would have to do before you left. The last thing you wanted was to finally be able to be alone with Jaehyun when you looked and felt like a bus had hit you three separate times.

You forced yourself to shower and wash your face as you pulled on clean clothes to wear home. Reluctantly, you made your way into the living room. Your memory was a little hazy but you were prepared to walk in on a mess. Much to your dismay, the mess was much bigger than you remember. You couldn’t help but laugh seeing as it reminded you of how Sooyeon would take up a huge portion of the dorm hallway any time she had a burst of inspiration. 

“Good morning,” your best friend called groggily from the kitchen. 

You rounded the corner, shock evident on your face when you found Sooyeon cooking on the stove top. “How are you awake?”

“Sober me set an alarm so I could cook you breakfast this morning. Drunk me and hungover me both thought it was very inconsiderate to not take our feelings into account before waking me up at ten in the morning. It’s the crack of dawn!”

“It’s early for people who drank their weight in wine but I still wouldn’t call it the crack of dawn. And tell sober Sooyeon thank you the next time you see her because hungover me appreciates the gesture.”

She waved you off. “Yeah, yeah. Just eat these pancakes.” She handed you a plate. “When’s Jaehyun supposed to get here?”

You answered around a mouthful of food. “Noon.”

“I should shower, then.” She groaned. 

“If you do, make it fast so I can help you clean up.”

She shook her head. “We added  _ way _ too much paint in our inebriated state. We’re going to have to let it sit for quite a bit before I can move anything.”

“You’re okay with leaving it like that?”

She looked at you like you had just asked her if she was sure the sky was blue. “What do you think this place looks like the majority if the time now that you’ve moved out? I only cleaned because I knew you were coming over.”

You laughed, cleaning your plate. “Go shower while I pack and then we can clean up everything that won’t affect our drunk painting.”

Jaehyun knocked on the door not long after Sooyeon got out of the shower. You rushed to the entryway, wrapping your arms around his neck as soon as the door opened.

He chuckled in your ear before kissing your cheek. “It was only two days. You miss me that much?”

“It felt like longer.” You had been away from him for two days but it was safe to say that neither of you had been mentally present around each other since Mark was killed. Now that Taeyong had gone back to his apartment, you hoped that the two of you could return to a somewhat normal state.

“Yeah,” he sighed, “it really did.”

“You two are gross,” Sooyeon called from the living room.

He smiled softly, walking around you and into the living room before letting out a slow whistle signaling he saw the piece taking up almost the entire floor. “Sooyeon, I can’t say this is anything like any of your other pieces.”

“Is that your way of saying it sucks?” She looked at him, a single eyebrow quirked.

“I never once said that.” He defended himself.

“It’s okay it doesn’t matter because it’s me and your lovely girlfriend’s drunk project.” She teased him before falling over onto the couch next to her. “I’m going to hang it up in the entryway so everyone knows who the real artist is.”

Jaehyun started laughing, staring down at what was originally supposed to be a face before it blended into something that more closely resembled a plant or a car, or if you were honest with yourself, just a blob. “You know, I would take credit for this. If your guest didn’t want to get into your pants before, they would after thinking you were the mastermind behind this.”

They continued to laugh at your less than impressive art skills and you crossed your arms. “I was drunk.”

Jaehyun walked over to you, pulling you into his chest. “I’m just kidding, baby. It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it. I’m going to arm wrestle Sooyeon to fight for who gets to have it.”

“Ha ha.” You peered at him. “Let me go grab my stuff so we can leave before my two favorite people can berate me some more.”

Sooyeon called after you. “___, I want you to be a part of my next showing. Think about it! Your pieces will sell faster than mine!”

“Only because Jaehyun would buy them all and hide them so I wouldn’t feel like a failure.” You yelled from your old bedroom.

You walked back out to find your boyfriend nodding in agreement. “I would buy every piece you ever made if art is what made you happy.”

“I’m gonna vomit. Leave right now. You talk to each other like high schoolers.” Sooyeon jokingly gagged before escorting you and Jaehyun to the door. “___, I love you. Come back whenever you figure out that boys are gross.”

“Ah, yes. We’re the high schoolers.” Jaehyun teased before grabbing your hand and walking out the door.

The ride home was filled with you talking about work and your night with Sooyeon while Jaehyun listened eagerly. It was nice to focus on something that wasn’t his work even if you knew it would be short-lived. You found yourself wishing for the days where you didn’t know what he did for a living, but that longing disappeared when you realized how much pain and frustration he would be bottling up if you were still in the dark. It was still nice to listen to him laugh and you hated that you couldn’t remember when the last time you heard the sound was. 

You walked into the apartment, making your way to the kitchen before Jaehyun grabbed your arm. “What if we just order in?”

“Jae, when was the last time you ate something that wasn’t take out? I don’t mind cooking for you.” 

“No, it’s just that I haven’t cleaned up from when Taeyong broke everything. I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know why.” He spoke softly and you weren’t sure why he was trying to justify himself. 

“I can do it.” You reassured him. “You’ve been through enough.”

“At least let me help.”

Knowing he wouldn’t take no for an answer, you grabbed the broom and handed him the dust pan before making your way into the kitchen. Broken glass covered the floor which contents from the cabinets were strewn recklessly all over the countertops. Jaehyun looked at you as you took in the surroundings. 

“I guess the reading of the will went worse than you described.”

He nodded, slowly moving to put the spices away in the cabinet while you swept the sharps into a small pile. The two of you worked quietly. You wanted to say something, but you weren’t sure where to even begin. This was probably the first time Jaehyun was thinking about how he felt instead of Taeyong. He had spent the past week comforting the person he felt like needed it while neglecting all of his own feelings and it was something that was hard for you to watch. You decided not to interrupt his thought process and instead kept working on the task at hand. He would speak up if he needed something.

By the time all the glass had been disposed of, Jaehyun finished his clean up project and was leaned up against the counter behind him, head hung low. You approached him slowly, hand finding his cheek as you positioned yourself in front of him.”Jaehyun…”   
He looked at you, eyes red and filled with tears that threatened to spill over. “He’s really gone isn’t he?”

You nodded slowly. Jaehyun never spoke much about his relationship with Mark. The subject never exactly came up and it seemed as if Taeyong tried to keep his brother removed from the underground workings as much as possible, not wanting to endanger him. The only time you heard Jaehyun talk about Mark was in relation to his years in college. Mark had gotten close to Jaehyun when he joined his brother at their university. He welcomed Jaehyun as family since Taeyong didn’t exactly have a lot of friends of his own whether or not he ever liked to admit it. You could only imagine what his loss felt like.

Jaehyun wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him as he buried his face in your neck. You rubbed his back as his body shook with quiet sobs. “I want you to say whatever you feel like you need to. You’ve been holding this in for too long.”

“He didn’t deserve this, ___. He had nothing to do with anything.”

You knew that nothing you could say would be able to comfort him in the way that he needed so instead you let him continue.

“He was a better person than any of us. He was the only person Taeyong had. He was one of the only people that I felt like I had. Do you know the last time I talked to my family? Since I dropped out of college. They didn’t approve of my decision and they ended the conversation before I could even tell them how much money I was making. Mark never cared. The three of us were a makeshift family and we depended on each other. I was there when their dad died and they argued for weeks over who would take what position. Taeyong did all of this to keep him safe and look how it turned out.” Jaehyun’s sobs interrupted him and he slowly sank to the floor, body unable to hold him up anymore. You knew he hadn’t really slept since the night they found out about Mark’s death and it was starting to become unavoidably obvious.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he leaned into your chest. He didn’t make an effort to talk anymore and you didn’t encourage him to. Instead, the two of you sat on the kitchen floor while Jaehyun emptied everything he had been repressing for a week.

Running your fingers through his hair, you kissed his forehead once his crying had momentarily subsided. “Let’s go to bed, okay? We can eat later.”

He nodded, standing up as you followed him to the bedroom. He fell asleep in your arms, head resting on your chest. You listened as his breaths slowed and you were thankful that he was finally getting rest.

When you woke up again, you checked your phone to find that it was almost dinner. You quietly called Jaehyun’s favorite restaurant and ordered take out while you rubbed your boyfriends back gently. You didn’t want to wake him up but it was important that he ate something soon. It was impossible to know how much he ate when you weren’t here. 

Jaehyun stirred before looking up at you, blinky away his sleepiness. His brows were furrowed and his hair was slightly messy. You couldn’t help but smile at him before kissing his forehead.

“Good morning.” You said softly, brushing his hair out of his face.

“What time is it?” His voice was still groggy from the long nap.

“About time for dinner. I just ordered some food. It should be here soon.” 

He nodded before climbing out of bed. “Do you want to watch a movie? I feel like we haven’t done that in a while.”

“Yeah, because we never actually finish the movie.” You reminded him. You wouldn’t even get halfway through beforehand ended up places they shouldn’t and your focus shifted to more pressing things.

“Oh, yeah.” He gave you a small smirk before the corners of his lips fell down again. “I kind of just want to relax tonight, though.”

“We can do that. I’m still exhausted anyway.”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” you told him. Standing up you made your way over to him, lifting up to give him a small kiss and make your way into the living room. “Hey, did Johnny end up coming over after the service?”

“How did you know about that?”

“He called me. He said you gave him my number.”

“I did a long time ago. After you met him, I thought it might actually be helpful for someone in the company to know who you are and have your number in case anything happened to me. I told him only to use it for emergencies though. Why’d he call you?”

“He said he lost your address and he didn’t want to bother you. I didn’t give it to him because I didn’t know if Taeyong wanted him over.”

He hummed in acknowledgment, brows furrowed. “He’s too considerate. It wouldn’t be bothering me to ask to bring us food.” He plopped down on the couch next to you.

“The whole situation was just weird to me.” You confessed. It could have been the fact that your emotions were running high, but the call just felt a little off.

“It is a little strange, but me, Doyoung, and Taeyong really haven’t talked to anyone on the floor all week. We’ve been ignoring phone calls left and right and just telling them to do what they think is best. Maybe he thought his call or message would just get ignored like everyone else’s did.”

You rubbed your face, groaning. “I’ve been around Taeyong too much. I’m suspecting everyone. I freaked out when I got to Sooyeon’s the other night and her door was unlocked.”

“I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve done this to you, too.” He pulled you into his side.

You rested your head on his shoulder. “Jaehyun, I don’t really think it’s a bad thing that I’m overly cautious now.”

“No, I guess you’re right.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment before Jaehyun spoke up. “I just remembered something.”

“What is it?”

“Tomorrow is our anniversary, isn’t it?”

You checked the date on your phone. “Holy shit. I guess it is.”

“Good thing I took the whole weekend off.” His arm tightened around you as he kissed the top of your head.

While you were excited, a larger part of you wanted to do nothing. Everything had been so chaotic lately that you didn’t want your anniversary to become a huge ordeal. You would happily accept a quiet night in as a proper celebration considering everything the two of you had gone through lately. “We don’t have to do anything. I would be okay just hanging out with you.”

“In all honesty, I’m still scared to go anywhere in public in case someone sees you with me, but I want to do  _ something. _ ” He said. “We could do something here, but I don’t want it to feel like just another day. Plus, I miss you. It would be nice to just focus on you for 24 hours.”

“That’s pretty ambitious to say I get you to myself for a whole day.” You tried not to sound bitter but it really did feel like any time you wanted to be with Jaehyun, there was something standing in the way. You never got to just be with him anymore.

“I’m serious, ___. All day, just you and me.”

“Hm. I’ll believe it when I see it.” You teased him lightly. 

“Then I’ll show you.” He kissed you and while you expected a small peck, he lingered. His hand slipped around the back of your neck as he pulled you closer to him. Just as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip, a knock sounded on the door. Jaehyun mumbled something about constant interruptions while going to get the food you had ordered.

He came back with food in hand and a small frown on his face. 

“Hey, you did say that we had all day tomorrow,” you reminded him as you grabbed your food from him and settled back into the couch.   
He sat down next to you. “I plan on using every single minute of it, too.”

The two of you spent the rest of the night watching different movies and laying on the couch trying to discuss different plans for the morning. At some point, you had drifted off and woke up to Jaehyun carrying you back to your bedroom.

You woke up to the bed shifting and Jaehyun holding two plates filled with food. “Happy anniversary.”

You took a plate from him before kissing him. “A whole year. How do you feel?”

“Like a year isn't long enough.”

You hummed in agreement before kissing him again. “Let’s shoot to have another one next year.”

“Good plan.”

The two of you ate breakfast while you reluctantly asked Jaehyun about work. He talked about the division of the company and what all he would be in charge of. You were relieved to hear that while he will be helping Taeyong out some, he will be predominantly taking over Mark’s place in the company. Taeyong said it would be nice to have someone on that side who was familiar with the workings of the company as a whole. 

“My only fear is that I’m not ready. I really don’t have any business experience.” He leaned his head against the headboard, staring up at the ceiling.

“Neither did Mark. Wasn’t he 20 when he took over?”

“I guess you’re right. I just didn’t really think this through before offering to take the position” He admitted. “I just saw Taeyong hurting and I knew I had to do something.”

You forced him to look at you by placing a hand on his cheek, thumb rubbing back and forth across the skin. “Jaehyun, you are fully capable of running the company. Have faith in yourself.”

He nodded before letting out a small huff. “Okay, enough talk about work.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” You apologized. You didn’t want to bring it up but you wanted to know how things were going since you hadn’t been able to ask all week. 

“No. I’m glad you asked. I just don’t want to bring down the mood of the whole day.”

You sat for a second. “Jaehyun?”

“What is it?” He asked, turning towards you.

“Is it okay if we just lay here for a bit?” You don’t know why you were so nervous to ask. It just felt like Jaehyun really wanted to do something for your anniversary but now that it’s here, you wanted to do nothing. “I can’t remember the last time we weren’t doing something.”

“Sounds like an uneventful anniversary.” He teased you but you could tell he wasn’t disappointed by the slight upturn of his lips.

“No, it sounds like exactly what I want. I just want to be with you, no distractions.”

Jaehyun took his phone from the nightstand and turned it on silent before setting it back down. “Okay, no distractions.”

“What if someone needs to get ahold of you?” You asked, brows furrowed. While having Jaehyun completely to yourself sounded wonderful, it wasn’t realistic with the state the company was in.

“I have an emergency burner that they’re supposed to call if I don’t answer my main phone.” He opened the drawer of the nightstand, taking out a small flip phone to show you before putting it back in its spot.

“Do you have an answer to everything?”

He smirked. “I try to.”

“How come I don’t have the emergency burner number.” You pouted. You had no reason to have it, but it was the perfect opportunity to give him a hard time.

“Because I always answer when you call. I don’t always want to talk to the people at work and I’ve been known to ignore their calls before.”

You clicked your tongue. “That’s rather irresponsible, Mr. CEO.”

He hummed pulling you towards him, pressing a small kiss to your lips. “I just have priorities.”

He kissed you again, this time much deeper. You didn’t hesitate to climb into his lap and escalate this kiss further. Jaehyun’s hands slipped under your shirt and gripped your thighs, thumbs rubbing slowly over the skin there. He used his grip on you to put you exactly where he wanted you, closer to him while encouraging you to grind down by lightly pushing your hips. He groaned into your mouth when you willingly complied, moving in small circled over him.

“I missed you.” He whispered before trailing his lips down your neck. “So much.” His hands traveled up from your hips to your breasts where he massaged gently. His lips met yours once again as he slowly met your tongue with his own. You moaned when he pinched one of your nipples, rubbing the hardening bud between his fingers. He smiled against your lips. “I missed the sounds you make.” He took his other hand and pressed it between your legs, eliciting a small gasp from you. “And I missed the way you react every time I touch you.”

“Jaehyun,” you gasped as his fingers pressed harder and began rubbing on your clit. 

He groaned. “Fuck. I really missed the way my name sounds when you’re about to beg.”

Your head fell back as he sucked on the crook of your neck, lightly biting every now and then. His fingers still rubbed between your legs over the cloth of your shorts and you were tired of the barrier keeping you from feeling his fingers inside you. You lifted your hips off of his lap momentarily, pushing the waistband of your shorts down before he stopped you, rolling you over and pinning your hands above your head. 

“I want to be the one to take them off and I’m not done playing with you yet.” He positioned himself between you, pressing his hardening cock against you and you groaned.

“Jaehyun, please.” You begged again. You hadn’t been with him like this in longer than you’d like to admit and you didn’t have to patience to wait.

He kissed you, biting your lip and tugging gently. “I plan on taking my time.”

You bucked up into him when his clothed tip hit your clit, desperately seeking out any sort of stimulation.

He lifted the hem of your shirt, urging you to sit up. After he discarded the fabric, he began trailing kisses down your chest, stopping at the waistband of your shorts. You were hopeful for just a second, but he worked his way back up to your breasts, lips wrapping around your nipple as he pressed his tongue flat against it, sucking lightly. You were relieved when one of his hands found its way back between your thighs, swirling around your clit lightly. You moved your hips up to encourage him to press harder but he kept his pressure the same, movements painfully slow. 

You pressed your palm against his erection, working back and forth before Jaehyun grabbed your wrist and once again pinning it above your head. “If you can’t keep your hands to yourself, I’ll tie them down.” He threatened.

The sudden dominance made heat pool in your stomach and you knew that your wetness had soaked through your panties with the way Jaehyun hummed when his fingers found your core once more. He finally pulled down your shorts and your underwear followed shortly after. One of his hands moved to keep your hands pinned above your head while he slowly inserted two fingers into you, slowly pumping the digits in and out of you. He swallowed your moans while he kissed you. Your sounds just encouraged him as he worked faster. His thumb swiped across your slit, gathering some of your wetness before moving to rub your clit. He worked in slow circles, pressing slightly harder each rotation before you couldn’t help but cry out at the stimulation. 

As soon as you felt like you were close, Jaehyun stopped, dragging his lips down your stomach and pressing small kisses from your hips to between your legs. 

He greedily licked into you, tongue pushing past your entrance before he removed it again. “I missed the way you taste, too.” He licked into you once more, humming against you before he licked up to your clit. He began sucking harshly while his fingers entered you once more. You fought the urge to run your fingers through his hair, knowing the action would only lead to him restraining you and interrupting the pleasure he was giving you right now.

“I’m about to cum.” You moaned through breathy speech. The sentence just made Jaehyun work faster and your back arched as you welcomed your orgasm, legs shaking around his shoulders. He continued to lap at your center, allowing you to ride out your orgasm before he stopped, leaning back and sitting on his heels.

“I want your dick inside me.” You told him. You were sure you looked completely fucked out, but you had not gone this long to not feel him inside you.

He chuckled at you. “Desperate are we?”

“When am I not?” You never had any shame in expressing what you wanted from him and you were not above begging. You spoke freely about your wishes and most of the time, Jaehyun had no objections.

He slid his sweats off of his body, finally freeing his erection that was undoubtedly straining against the fabric. He settled between your legs once again before leaning down to kiss you. You could taste yourself on him as you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him closer. He shot you a warning glance, reminding you of his previous threat.

“I want to touch, too. I’ve missed you.” You stuck out your bottom lip in a pout and he smiled before leaning down and catching it between his teeth and kissing softly.

“I’m scared you won’t take my threats very seriously if I let you do whatever you want.” He teased.

“You can punish me and make me listen next time.”

Jaehyun laughed at you. “What a convincing argument.”

“You’re not a very good dom if you’re getting to let me off that easy.” You smirked with a sense of triumph. It wasn’t often that Jaehyun gave into you, but you always felt accomplished when he did.

But as soon as you said it, you saw his entire mood shift. He grabbed you by your hips and moved you to where you were closer to the headboard. The drawer opened next to you as Jaehyun pulled out a dress tie, typing it around your hands and to one of the posts of the headboards. 

“You know, you almost had me convinced but you had to be a brat, didn’t you.” He growled, tightening the tie.

You couldn’t help but mock him even though he already showed that he was to be taken seriously. “You should have expected it.”

“Keep running your mouth and I’ll gag you, too. I bet your panties are still soaked. I’ll just use those.” He looked at you, eyes hooded and glinting with aggression. “Actually I have a better idea.”

He gripped the top of the headboard before settling above you and pressing his tip to your lips. You opened your mouth eagerly, taking him in as far as you could without gagging. Pressing your tongue to the underside of his shaft, you sucked lightly, eliciting a groan from Jaehyun. The explicit sound encouraged you and you sucked harder as your tongue trailed along his length. You watched as he hung his head between his arms, hissing from the stimulation.

“I missed your mouth, too. You take me so well.” He groaned before he pulled out of your mouth slowly and you lifted your head to follow his movements. After successfully pulling away from you. He moved down the bed, spreading your legs apart so he could slide in between them. “I would have finished like that but there’s one more thing I miss.”

“What is it?” You knew the answer but you needed him to say it, thriving of the praise he had been giving you.

He pushed past your entrance, letting out a low moan followed by your name. “I missed the way you feel around me when you cum.” He slowly thrust into you and you felt him graze past your g spot, causing your breath to hitch.

He took a deep breath before he continued his movements. He leaned over you, elbows resting on either side of your head as he leaned down to kiss you. His thrusts didn’t stop as he kissed you, tongue moving against yours matching the rate of his hips. One hand moved down to rub your clit as he moved in and out of you and you couldn’t help but to moan into his mouth.

“That’s it, baby,” he encouraged as he picked up the pace slightly and you already felt like you were on the edge from all the attention you had received earlier. “___, I’m close.”

You nodded. “I am, too. Keep going.” In just a few more thrusts, you were clenching around his cock. 

Jaehyun dropped his head to your neck groaned before biting lightly at your shoulder as he pulled out and moved to pump over his length before he was spilling over your stomach and chest. He sat up looking at you and the way you laid beneath him, hands tied and his cum covering you and he growled at the sight. “Okay. I lied. The last thing I missed was seeing you like this. Fucking beautiful.” He untied your hands before standing up and grabbing your t-shirt off the floor to clean you off.

“Okay, instead of doing nothing, why don’t we do  _ that _ for the rest of the day.”   
“I’ll consider it.” He teased before laying down next to you and you curled into his side, resting your head on his chest. His hand wove into your hair as he combed through it repeatedly. He kissed your forehead before dropping his head onto the pillow behind him.

As if on cue, a phone rang from his nightstand. “Polite of them to wait until I was finished,” he joked as he reached for the burner phone. He rolled his eyes before he flipped it open. “What?”

“Jaehyun. It’s Doyoung.” A voice echoed through the receiver loud enough for you to hear.

“What is it?”

“I found the leak.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woooooooo sorry for the wait yall. i had lots of exams this last week and was busy studying.
> 
> tell me what you think!
> 
> tumblr: lovingyong


	14. fourteen

_ Jaehyun’s POV _

“I found the leak.” Doyoung’s voice sounded panicked through the receiver.

“What do you mean you found the leak? We already knew it was Sicheng.”

“It’s not. It’s not Sicheng. It’s Johnny.”

Jaehyun’s blood ran cold and he sat up, gently easing you off of his chest where you were previously laying. You looked at him, brows furrowed. He was unsure just how much you were able to hear of the phone conversation.

This entire time, Jaehyun had been defending Johnny. He had been trying to find every way to prove him innocent and now he felt like nothing more than a fool. He let his guard down and trusted someone just because he considered them a friend. All of Taeyong’s barriers made sense now that Jaehyun was experiencing betrayal first hand. This man had your number and he knew what you looked like. Not only had Jaehyun endangered his best friend, but he also put you at risk as well. The once of hope he held onto that Johnny wasn’t actually the leak stemmed strictly from fear of your safety.

“It can’t be Johnny.”

“I thought the same thing, but I’m sitting here watching their main hideout and someone just gave him a huge bag of their drugs. I don’t know how he’s pulling off selling both but he is.” Doyoung’s voice had somewhat returned to normal. It was evident that he was still shaken up, but he seemed to be trying to control his emotions.

Jaehyun felt the opposite. While Doyoung was calming down, his emotions were escalating. He felt angry and disappointed, but more than anything, he was scared. He was scared of Johnny and scared of himself for letting someone earn his trust so easily. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“We can’t let him know we know.”

“I know that, but I don’t know how we’re going to get rid of him. He knows we’re investigating everyone. It’s only a matter of time before something else happens.”

“I know. We’ll figure it out, okay? Just… don’t do something stupid.”

“Get out of there before he sees you.”

“I’m already back in the office. I’m about to go talk to Taeyong.”

“Okay. I’ll be in the office tomorrow. If anything else happens, let me know.” He hung up before Doyoung could respond and cradled his head in his hands. Your hand trailed up and down his back, reminding him that you were still here. It was still your anniversary and he was living in blissful ignorance just moments ago.

“It’s Johnny, isn’t it?” You whispered carefully. He could tell you were unsure about asking but he appreciated you acknowledging it. It would have been near impossible for him to continue the day pretending like nothing was wrong.

He nodded, answering your question. “I feel so stupid.”

“Don’t. He put up a good front. He established himself as the nice guy in the office so that all his attempts to corner Taeyong seemed as if they were coming from a good place.” The continual patterns you drew on his back in addition to your comforting words did put him slightly at ease. What frustrated Jaehyun the most was seeing how sloppy Johnny became recently and knowing that he always gave him the benefit of the doubt despite the position the company was in.

“It’s so obvious now. I don’t know why I didn’t see it.”

“It’s obvious now because you know the truth. Don’t beat yourself up over this, please.”

“It’s hard not to when now your life is on the line.”

You shook your head at him. “Do not worry about me. I’m serious. I don’t want you making a mistake because your thoughts are on me instead of getting rid of Johnny.”

It was times like these that made Jaehyun wish he had never dragged you into the mess he was living. He didn’t deserve you. He never would and he had come to accept that months ago. Why you were still here was beyond him but he was thankful for every day he woke up with you still beside him.

After Jaehyun accepted this job, he never thought he would be able to have any kind of relationship. When he was guarding Taeyong, the possibility was there but it was so small the thought of one wasn’t even worth entertaining. Once he had become an assassin, he knew a relationship was now impossible. The night his target spiked your drink was the night Jaehyun knew he couldn’t trust himself around you. As he took you to his car, his mind raced with the most inhumane way to kill that man. You sat limp in the car next to him and all Jaehyun felt was the fierce need to protect you. He had yet to speak a single word to you and he already felt like it was his job to watch over you even if it was just for the night.

The next morning when you woke up and walked into the kitchen in nothing but his shirt, all he wanted was for everything to be under different circumstances. The fact of the matter was that when he first saw you, it had nothing to do with feelings and everything to do with the fact that a relationship was something Jaehyun desired and he had been ignoring that fact for years. 

When you sat eating your breakfast while taking bites between banter, that was when the feelings developed. He had never met someone so unashamed of speaking honestly with someone they had never met. You challenged him when he said he never watched the news and continued to challenge anything you didn’t quite agree with. Despite the situation you were in, it felt like the two of you had always been the way you were in that moment. It felt like an average Saturday morning to Jaehyun and it was when he realized he couldn’t let you go without at least some sort of an effort to see you again. What he didn’t expect was for you to agree after the rushed and unsure words left his mouth. On his way to pick you up for your first date, he feared that he was only doing this to fulfill a selfish need to no longer be alone. By the end of that first night, he knew that wasn’t the case and that his feelings were genuine. It was a relief but it was also easily the most terrifying thing he had experienced to date. He knew nothing about you and therefore had no clue what to expect.

He learned fairly quickly that you’re full of surprises. You’re quick witted and always willing to participate in verbal friendly fire. While you can be upfront, candid, and at times sarcastic, you’re also kind, gentle and supportive in ways that he to this day does not feel like he deserves. You’re independent and tend to put up a front to hide your struggles even though Jaehyun knows better by now. On your very first date, you let your facade slip and he didn’t mind a bit. You seemed worried that you had scared him off when you actually had done the opposite. He was drawn to your vulnerability. It took strength, to be honest when you didn’t want to and he admired you. What you probably considered to be a moment of weakness was the moment he realized you were one of the most courageous people he had ever met.

His respect and admiration for you grew at the same rate his feelings deepened. It wasn’t long before doubt and insecurity took over. You had no idea what he did for a living and at some point, he would have to tell you. He spent countless nights debating with himself when and how he would do it. Just how would he open the door to the world he had tried to keep you away from so far. He also knew that no one in their right mind would willingly stay with someone who killed for a living. The night you met Johnny was the night that Jaehyun realized it wasn’t a matter of if you found out but when. He felt like he had a ticking time bomb over his head waiting to explode. Of course, it would only be a few months later that you caught him wrapping up a job. 

Never would Jaehyun had been so risky, but it was a high priority target and Taeyong was beginning to lay the pressure on thick. Seeing a man so dangerous anywhere close to you was what made him snap and decide to go through with the shoddy plan. When he saw you standing in that doorway after he pulled the trigger, every fear he had every imagined rushed to the surface. Various emotions came in waves as he tried to convince you to give him a second of your time that he didn’t deserve. He had wasted enough of it already now drag you through hell on earth. 

That night when you decided to stay with him, he knew he had to do everything in his power to protect you. You were officially aware of what he did but that didn’t mean you had to be involved. Then you signed the contract and got thrown into an assignment and it was like any control he had over the situation was gone. He no longer felt like he had any way to protect you if this was the way that things would be going. Thankfully since then, things have settled down in terms of your involvement, but his life had become increasingly more hectic.

You were his rock, the foundation that remained when everything around him seemed to be crumbling. Without you, he would be in utter shambles and the thought alone of being without you after all this time was honestly terrifying. He had to find a way to get rid of Johnny. You had just said not to worry about you, but that was all he could think about. He had to get rid of Johnny to keep you safe.

“Babe?” Your voice jerked him back to reality. “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet for a bit.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” He rubbed his face before looking at you. “I just needed to think through some stuff. Can we finish our anniversary?”

You agreed with him by giving him a subtle nod. He noticed the underlying concern in your eyes but he chose to ignore it. The least you deserved was his attention for the rest of the day and he was bound and determined to give it to you.

* * *

Walking into the office the next morning, Jaehyun forced himself to keep a straight face, He knew that Johnny would be in the office seeing as he had to turn in his sales from the last week. All he wanted was to make it to the safety of Taeyong’s office without being bothered by unwanted communication. It was almost if fate had it out for him because the second he got off the elevator, he bumped into the person he wanted to see the least.

“Jaehyun! It’s so good to see you! How was your week off?” Johnny looked at him with a huge smile gracing his face.

Jaehyun looked back at him, smile probably looking as forced as it felt. “I mean, it wasn’t really a week off. We were working from home.”

“You’re right. Yeah of course,” Johnny said apologetically. “Still ___ must have been excited to have you home so much.”

Jaehyun rubbed the back of his neck. He almost wished that you were here to make conversation because you seemed to be better at it. All those months ago at Sooyeon’s art show, you carried on effortlessly when Jaehyun froze. “It was almost worse because we were working all night trying to sort out who this leak is.”

“Any news? I’m sure that must be really stressful.”

“We think we’ve got them figured out and we plan on taking action today.”

Johnny faltered momentarily. “Hey, at least your hard work paid off.”

“I guess so.” Jaehyun nodded, trying to walk away.

Johnny grabbed his arm, stopping him. Jaehyun felt like at that moment the world slowed down. His senses were heightened and he was completely on edge. It took everything he had not to take his gun out of his holster and shoot him in the middle of the office. The only reason he didn’t was because he didn’t feel like dealing with any possible ramifications that could follow a move so hasty. Instead, he turned and looked at Johnny.

Johnny looked at him with brows furrowed. He could probably see the way Jaehyun was clenching his jaw. “Hey, before you go, are you feeling alright? You’ve been acting weird.”

“Yeah. I’m just tired. It was me and ___’s anniversary yesterday so long night, to say the least.” He let out a small laugh to hopefully drive the innuendo home. He didn’t care what he had to do or say, he wanted Johnny gone.

Johnny laughed, seeming to accept that as a proper answer. “Yeah, of course. Well, I’ll let you go. I have some early morning clients so I’m heading out. It was nice to see you. Get some more rest tonight.”

After the elevator closed guaranteeing Johnny’s exit, Jaehyun let out the breath he was holding. His strengths definitely were in staying hidden and getting the job done. He very rarely had to interact with a target and that was obvious with the way he handled that situation. He couldn’t shake the feeling that Johnny was onto him. Something had to be done and fast before Johnny could realize they were onto him.

His saving grace, in the form of Kim Doyoung, poked his head out of Taeyong’s office and called him inside. “Hey, how did it go talking to him?” He asked as soon as the door was closed behind them.

“I mean, as good as it could have gone considering I wanted to stab his chest 30 times while he was standing in front of me.”

“I had to take Taeyong’s gun before he came in to deliver his reports. He had another increase in sales and I just don’t get it. How could he be selling both?”

“Sell both but let him keep the revenue from them and that’s how they pay him for his information.” Taeyong sighed, flipping through the report. “And, I don’t see why we couldn’t have killed Johnny when he came into my office. We had him cornered.”

“Because then everyone in the office would have seen it,” Doyoung said and it felt like he had explained this to him before. “It would cause absolute chaos on the floor and you would have to explain everything to them. Plus, over half of them haven’t killed or watch someone kill anyone before. Do you really think killing someone they consider a friend is the best way to go about that?”

“They would understand eventually.” He gruffed, throwing the papers into the trash. 

Jaehyun understood what Doyoung was saying. It would be best to not kill old employees in the office for multiple reasons. He also wanted to get revenge, but it needed to be done somewhere that wouldn’t put everyone in the office in the middle. Doyoung living with Taeyong now was probably for the best because Jaehyun just wasn’t sure he could have held his ground like Doyoung does. 

“Eventually isn’t the point. It would have royally fucked things up for a while and that’s the last thing we need when we’re trying to transition the company.” Doyoung tried to reason with him but it was clear Taeyong’s rage was returning.

“I honestly don’t give a fuck anymore. He killed my brother and I do not want him anywhere near me for the time being.”

“I’ll take care of it. It’ll be done before the end of the week.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

“We have to get rid of Sicheng.”

Taeyong looked at him, brows furrowed. “I’m not killing someone innocent.”

“We don’t have to. We just have to pretend to.” Jaehyun explained.

“Can’t we just fire him and then bring him back later? It would be easier to explain to everybody.” It would be easier to explain to everybody, but what Doyoung didn’t realize was that Johnny was more observant than he lead everyone to believe. They needed to treat this like a severe case.

“When would Taeyong ever just fire someone in this company? Regardless of the fact that we’re framing him for Mark’s death, anyone who gets fired from the company is a walking time bomb. They have too much information that could bring the whole company down.”

“Okay, okay. I just don’t know how we’re going to pull this off.” Doyoung admitted.

“Call Sicheng in.”

“We don’t even have a plan.”

“Let me do the talking,” Jaehyun said. Taeyong didn’t seem to care what happened but Doyoung seemed to still be concerned.

Despite not fully understanding Jaehyun’s plan, Doyoung called Sicheng into the office where he sat down in front of the three of them.

“You killed Mark.” Jaehyun spit the accusation with a flat expression and he only hoped the other two looked the same while Sicheng searched their faces in panic.

“What the fuck? No, I didn’t.” He defended, eyes wide.

Jaehyun sighed, sitting down on the corner of the desk in front of the man. “I know that and you know that, but we need everyone else in this office to think that you did.”

“For what? I’m not going to die just to progress some fucking revenge plan.” The panic subsided and anger was starting to take over. Jaehyun could see how he was upset when he provided such little explanation.

“I wouldn’t ask that of you,” Jaehyun continued. “You’re a valuable employee and I see no need to just have you killed. What I need you to do is storm out of this office, hit a few things on your way out if you really want. Go buy a burner phone and call me from it. Do not give this number to anyone else or I will not hesitate to kill you, too. Do you understand me so far?”

Sicheng nodded.

“Good. After that, I need you to go home and turn off your phone, your computer, anything that could connect you to the outside world. If someone knocks on your door, do not answer. I don’t care if it’s your mom or your girlfriend or whoever else it may be from your personal life. The door stays shut. The last thing I need is for you to not come into work until I call you on the burner phone and tell you it’s okay.” When Jaehyun finished, he looked at Sicheng expectantly. Everything was depending on whether or not he would cooperate. 

“Sounds easy enough.” He shrugged.

“It should be. We just need to convince this office you’re dead so I can get to the real threat.”

“Is this when I leave and act all pissed off?”

“If you don’t have any questions.”

“Only one. Am I getting paid for this?” He asked, a small smirk appearing on his lips.

Jaehyun cracked a smile. “Sure. Giving you some paid time off wouldn’t hurt us.”

“Okay, sounds good.” Sicheng stood up, his face fell as he towards the door and slamming it as hard as he could behind him. Through the dimmed glass you could see his figure knocking stuff off desks on his way to the elevators. From Taeyong’s monitor, you were able to see that he even went so far as to continue his fit on the main floor before security had to forcefully remove him from the building.

“So why did you decide to go ahead and pick Sicheng for this?”

“Besides the fact that he was our original suspect, he told me a while ago that he wanted to be an actor but money in his family was low and he couldn’t afford to risk pursuing a career he may never get big in.” Jaehyun moved to sit in the chair the man was one in, facing Taeyong who had an amused expression on his face.

“You thought more about it then we probably would have given you credit for. We honestly thought you were just going to wing it.”

“I did wing it. I didn’t think of using a distraction to make Johnny more comfortable until I ran into him and I could tell he was uneasy.” Jaehyun admitted. He spent all night awake trying to think of how to get Johnny off his back, but he couldn’t think of anything until he ran into him this morning. 

Taeyong laughed. “I respect that. I should have known you could think quick on your feet.”

Doyoung still sat in disbelief. “Well, now what?”

“Now we wait.” Jaehyun stood up. “I’m gonna go grab some reports from the other side to make sure productivity is still up while we’re not paying attention.”

“Does anyone know you’re their new boss yet?” Doyoung asked, leaning against the wall. Jaehyun wasn’t sure how he felt knowing that Jaehyun would be taking Mark’s position. He had never expressed any bitterness, but it must be at least somewhat frustrating having a degree in business and working so closely to Taeyong just to have the company assassin take the position. He almost wished they could both be in the position, but he wasn’t sure if Taeyong trusted Doyoung enough for that just yet. Maybe one day soon with everything that has happened the past couple of weeks.

“No. I plan on telling them I’m Taeyong’s little errand boy for the time being.”

Jaehyun left the office and spent the remainder of the day wandering through various floors and taking notes on each department’s standards and average productivity rates. He decided to be somewhat lenient for this week’s low rates only because he was sure that the office was nothing short of absolute chaos.

It was nice to know that he wouldn’t have to be responsible for killing anyone anymore, but at the same time, he knew he couldn’t leave everything in Ten’s hands. He would either have to continue working as the hitman or hire and train someone else to do the job.

Once he made his way to the top floor, he found that Mark’s side mirrored Taeyong’s. The only difference was that he didn’t need a keycard for his elevator. He made his way over to the glass wall that separated Mark’s old office from the rest of the desks. It felt weird to look into the space he had spent so many lunches and breaks in just to see it empty. All of Mark’s belongings had been cleared out by Taeyong’s request seeing as he couldn’t do it himself and he didn’t trust his mother to not turn around and sell everything she cleaned out. 

It was like the final nail in the coffin knowing that as early as next week, his stuff would be filling that space and he would be working where Mark no longer could. The sting in his chest was almost unbearable while he realized that the hardest part of the job wouldn’t be balancing an entire company or having a workload for the first time in his life. The hardest part of all of it would be the constant reminder that he only had this position because Mark was dead. 

He fished out his phone, dialing your number after walking into the large office space.

You thankfully picked up relatively quickly. “Hey, you caught me on my way home. What’s up?”

“I’m in what’ll be my new office.”

“Oh! That’s exciting! How do you feel?”

“It was Mark’s.” It wasn’t an answer but he hoped it would explain enough.

“Oh. I see.” Your tone was somber, but it lacked any pity. That was something he loved about you. No matter what situation he found himself in, you never pitied him. Instead, you empathize and work through it with him as opposed to being an observer of his pain.

He cleared his throat and tried not to let tears break through. “It’s just weird, I guess. I wish I could explain how I feel right now.”

“It’s okay. I get it. I mean, I don’t get it because I have no idea what it’s like to be in your position, but I know you well enough to understand what you mean.”

He pressed the palm of his hand to his eye, wiping away the stray tears. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I’m about to start cooking. Will you be home soon?”

“Yeah. I’ll be on my way now. I just have to drop some stuff off with Taeyong really fast.” He flipped through the notebook, proud of how thorough of a job he did. It really came relatively easy to him and he hoped it continued to be that way. Working so closely with Taeyong the past few years had prepared him more than he realized.

“I’ll try to have everything ready when you get home.”

“I love you.” He was so thankful for you. It was such a short phone call, but he already felt at peace now that he was ready to hang up.

“I love you more.”

“Impossible, but whatever you say.” He hung up and took one look around the office before making his way out of the room. Next time he came in here, it would be his office and he would do his best to honor Mark’s legacy.

* * *

The next morning, Jaehyun gave you a kiss goodbye and made his way into the office. He knew someone was going to have to make an announcement about Sicheng’s elimination and he took the time to really figure out just what he wanted to say. He wasn’t ever very close with him so at least he didn’t have to act remorseful. Maybe he could figure out what to say, give it to Taeyong, and keep his head low the rest of the day. The only problem was that he needed to run into Johnny and hopefully be convincing of the fact that Sicheng was the leak.

The stress had worn on him all night and you had tried to help him settle down by rubbing his shoulders and talking him through it. Unfortunately for him, there was only so much you could do for him. You usually were able to calm him down easily but this situation was different. He would have to kill someone he used to consider a friend.

The elevator doors opened and Jaehyun immediately spotted Taeyong standing in the general office space. He gave him a small smile before turning back to the wide span of cubicles as Jaehyun approached his side.

“Today’s the day,” Taeyong said quietly and Jaehyun nodded. Maybe he wouldn’t have to worry about what to say seeing as Taeyong seemed to be ready to tell everyone already.

“Everyone. Can I have your attention please?” The entire office turned their gaze to their boss. It wasn’t often that Taeyong came out and addressed the floor as a whole. Even in company meetings, it seemed to be directed to certain areas of the company as opposed to every one. Jaehyun searched the space to find Johnny looking up from his desk.

“Today is a day of celebration and now that everyone is here, I wanted to share the big news.”

“Wait, Sicheng isn’t here yet.” Yuta pointed out, a frown playing on his lips.

Taeyong nodded. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk about. Sicheng was the one responsible for Mark’s death. He was the one leaking information to the group we have been working so hard to keep under control. As of last night, he will no longer be a threat.”   
Jaehyun watched as Johnny’s face was focused on Taeyong’s, a small smile gracing his lips. He really thought that he had won. He thought he was in the clear until he took his next plan of action. He was probably thrilled thinking that Taeyong would be overcome with guilt when he realizes he killed the wrong person. Everything was going right for Johnny. Jaehyun couldn’t help but feel the smallest pride from his accomplishment of making the man feel so comfortable.

He made his way to sit at his desk which coincidentally was right next to his new target.

“So you offed the leak?”

Jaehyun nodded. “Yeah, it was a long night, but I’m glad Taeyong can rest easy now.”

“Seriously, though.” Johnny laughed as if to acknowledge Taeyong’s copious amount of stress. “Hey, we should celebrate!”

“I would love to but I think Taeyong is still recovering from his lack of sleep.”

“Yeah, definitely. Where do you wanna go? We could go to mine.”

Going to Johnny’s place would be like walking into a trap. If the two of them went to Jaehyun’s place, it would give him the upper hand but Johnny may be suspicious. If he somehow managed to mention you, Hopefully, Johnny would know that he wouldn’t willingly invite danger when you could be around. “We could have it at my place. ___ won’t be home until late tonight. Plus, I just bought a bottle of rum and I’ve been needing a reason to crack it open.”

“Sounds like a plan. I have to go out and make a few sales, so I’ll see you after work.”

After Johnny had left, Jaehyun sent you a quick text telling you to go to Sooyeon’s until he came and got you. All he had to do was get Johnny in his apartment and kill him. Everything sounded so simple and straightforward. The only thing he was worried about was whether or not Johnny had a similar plan.

The rest of the day seemed to drag on and whether it be from stress or the intense amount of strategizing Jaehyun was doing with Taeyong. At the end of the day, Jaehyun finally sent Johnny a text with his address and told him he was on his way back home. Taeyong walked him through everything he was to do one more time before sending him on his way. He knew that Taeyong’s nerves were far greater than his because while Jaehyun could lose his life, Taeyong could lose the only person he had left in this world. Jaehyun had to stay alive for Taeyong and he had to stay alive for you. 

He bumped into Johnny in the lobby of his apartment. Johnny offered to take some of the bags from the food he had just picked up and they made their way inside together. His guest talked on about one of his crazy regular customers whose brain had deteriorated from countless borderline overdoses. Johnny laughed while Jaehyun grimaced. How anyone could find that situation funny was upsetting to him but he played it off, hoping not to cue Johnny into his obvious discomfort.

Instead, he changed the subject to work and how he was juggling keeping an eye on all the other groups when his focus was on the current threat. He knew it didn’t matter what he said because hopefully, Johnny would be dead by the end of the night anyway.

Jaehyun opened the door to the apartment and let Johnny slip past him. His suit jacket shifted just enough that Jaehyun could see the holster and gun still attached to his hip. His breath caught in his throat knowing that he would have to be able to make a clean shot before Johnny could even get a chance to use his own weapon. This would be his hardest assignment yet.

Johnny moved to the bar while Jaehyun reluctantly turned his back to him to take plates from the cabinet. He heard the click of a magazine being slipped into a pistol prompting him to laugh and draw his own gun, pointing it at his target. “You really don’t waste any time do you?”

“How long have you known?” Johnny asked him.

“A few days. How long have you been sneaking around?”

“Since I got this job. I’ve been working for them longer than I’ve been working for Lee. The only reason I worked my way up in this stupid company was to get rid of Taeyong. He’s been holding us back for far too long and I’m fucking tired of it. How’d you catch me anyway? You couldn’t have just figured it out.”

“Doyoung saw you,” Jaehyun admitted. There was no point in lying.

He nodded. “I thought that was him. He didn’t do a good job of checking his surrounding before he left his hideout.”

“I’m sure sloppy mistakes happen when you find out someone you trusted is the reason the company could fall apart.”

“Maybe you should have both taken a page from Taeyong’s book. He has never trusted me. The only person he trusts is you.” Johnny laughed. His gun was still pointed at the center of Jaehyun’s chest. Neither of them dared to move, knowing it would only lead to the death of both of them. “Speaking of, I feel as if I should congratulate you on your new position.”

“Since I’m the CEO now, I feel as if it’s my business to know just how you made your sales increase while you were sneaking around behind our back.”

“They use the regular coke as a base for their recipe. Makes it easier if they already have the real stuff and they can just lace it. I give them coke and they give me the same amount in their stuff. I report all the sales to you guys in order to be able to keep giving them information.” Johnny smiled at him, clearly proud of the plan he had concocted. 

“Smart.” Jaehyun edged his hand just slightly to the right, shooting Johnny’s hand. 

The gun fell from Johnny’s grip and he screamed in agony before lunging over the counter and tackling Jaehyun. His head hit the countertop behind him, and his vision became blurry as Johnny had managed to situate himself above him, knees pinning his arms by his side. Jaehyun tried to knee the man’s back but he remained unphased as the adrenaline coursed through him. At some point when Jaehyun had fallen, his gun had slipped from his grip and Johnny now had it pointed at his chest.

“I don’t give a fuck about killing Taeyong anymore. I know now that the way to hurt him most is to take everyone he cares about first.”

“Taeyong’s not a fucking idiot.” Jaehyun spit. “He knows it’s you.”

“I’m not going back to the office after today. There’s no point in continuing to work for him after I take the last thing he cares about in this world. Maybe he’ll do me a favor and just off himself.”

Jaehyun gave another swift knee to Johnny’s back and he faltered slightly. The man pulled the trigger as his hand moved, sending a bullet into Jaehyun’s left shoulder. He screamed from the impact of the bullet while Johnny just laughed at him.

“I could do this all day. What do you think Taeyong would do if he found your body filled with bullets, huh?”   
Johnny made a second shot into his right shoulder and Jaehyun couldn’t help but react to the pain coursing through his upper body, another cry escaping through his lips.

“Fucking pathetic. You can kill people all day long but you can’t handle a couple of bullets.” Johnny returned the barrel of the gun to Jaehyun’s chest. “This game isn’t as fun as I thought it would be. I was hoping you’d be able to take more than that but now I’m scared you’ll pass out from the pain before I’m even finished.”

As soon as he finished talking, a third gunshot rang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what you think! i know its yet another cliffhanger im so sorry lol
> 
> tumblr: lovingyong
> 
> i'll see y'all next saturday!


	15. fifteen

The lights all turned off around you as your production crew cleaned up from the on-site set. You nodded at them and thanked them for another successful show before you fished around in your purse for your phone. Dead. Great. You liked to call Jaehyun when you were on your way home so you knew whether or not to pick up dinner or just make it depending on what was in the fridge. You sighed, figuring the two of you could just figure it out together once you got back to your shared apartment.

Once you got back to your apartment, you made your way from the elevator to your door. While you dug through your purse for your keys, you heard a deep yell coming from the inside. Your focus switched from your keys to the small pistol that Jaehyun made you carry around. You eased the door open as quietly as possible, leaving it open seeing as you were the only one on your floor. You didn’t want to draw attention to yourself when you didn’t know what was happening further inside the apartment. When you heard yet another pained cry, you peeked your head around the corner to see Johnny pinning Jaehyun’s arms down pressing a gun to his chest.

Time seemed to slow down as you watched blood soak Jaehyun’s button down. You knew he had been in compromising situations before, but this one seemed to have no escape. He was pinned down by a man larger than him and left without a weapon. If you didn’t do something now, you knew he could be killed. You lifted the gun, able to position yourself behind Johnny, taking aim for the man.

“This game isn’t as fun as I thought it would be. I was hoping you’d be able to take more than that but now I’m scared you’ll pass out from the pain before I’m even finished.” 

You watched as Jaehyun continued to squirm under his grip but you both knew it was no use. Johnny’s finger moved tighter around the trigger and before he could make the fatal shot, you shot your own gun. The bullet landed slightly off its planned trajectory, but the pain coming from his right arm caused Johnny to drop the gun and clutch his bicep in pain. 

Jaehyun took the opportunity to overpower him and flip him on his back, grabbing the gun and delivering a shot to his chest. When Johnny looked like he was about to sit up and try and fight back with the little time he had, Jaehyun shot another bullet into the base of his neck. He stood up, wobbling slightly, before spitting on the man underneath him. “You don’t deserve the gratification of killing me.”

Johnny sputtered, unable to respond because of the blood filling his throat from the bullet wound. It wasn’t too much longer before he stopped moving, signaling Jaehyun’s success. 

Your boyfriend attempted to walk towards you. His legs were unharmed but you couldn’t imagine the pain he was feeling on top of the blood loss from the holes on both sides of his chest. You rushed to him, trying to help him stay upright, but he slouched to the ground, leaning against the cabinets behind him.

“___.” Jaehyun reached for his phone in his pocket but winced from the pain. You stopped him, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. 

You went to ask him what he wanted you to do but he was already passed out from the pain. You knew you couldn’t call the police for a multitude of reasons so you did the only thing you could. Dialing Taeyong’s number, you pressed the phone to your ear.

“Jaehyun?” He asked expectantly. He was probably waiting for him to report back on what happened with Johnny.

“Taeyong. It’s ___. Jaehyun is hurt.” You looked down at the man beside you, brushing his hair out of his face. You tried to remain calm knowing that getting upset wouldn’t get Jaehyun help any faster. “Can you please send someone? We’re at the apartment and I-”

Taeyong interrupted you.“We’re on our way. Apply pressure.”

Before you could answer, Taeyong hung up and you tossed the phone to the side. Tears finally ran down your face as you tried to figure out just how to stop the bleeding. None of the bullets were in any vital positions but the loss of blood could kill him depending on how long it took Taeyong to reach you.

“Shit, Jaehyun.” You cried as you shifted him from sitting up to laying on his back. Positioning yourself over him, you pressed both hands over the bullet wounds. If he wasn’t already passed out, he would have been after this. You weren’t even sure if what you were doing was the right thing but you continued anyway. It was better than nothing and you knew that you couldn’t just leave him like that. 

It wasn’t too much longer before Taeyong and Doyoung were barging through the open door and to where you sat in the kitchen. You took your hands off the wounds and moved out of the way to allow them to assess the damage. Taeyong went over to Johnny’s body, kicking it before telling Doyoung he was confident about him being dead. 

Doyoung tried to wrap Jaehyun’s shoulders to provide just a little bit of aid while they were transporting him, but he seemed to be having some trouble just because of where the bullets landed. “Johnny really did a number on him.” Doyoung sighed, beckoning Taeyong over to help him.

“I don’t understand how he even was able to shoot him. Jaehyun usually finishes the job before the target even gets a chance to do anything.” Taeyong lifted Jaehyun’s legs while Doyoung had a grip under his arms. Taeyong looked at you before walking towards the door of the apartment. “___, come with us. You need to sit in the back and be there if he wakes up.” 

“Leave the door unlocked. Jungwoo will be here to clean up Johnny’s body here in a minute. Put a key on the counter and he’ll lock up when he leaves.” Doyoung added as they made their way to the elevator.

You nodded, grabbing Jaehyun’s keys from the hook on the entryway before throwing them on the counter and chasing after the two carrying your unconscious boyfriend.

“Jaehyun. I swear to God if you die on me, I’ll never forgive you.” Taeyong whispered. Your own hurt and fear subsided momentarily while you thought about everything Taeyong must be going through. 

Doyoung looked at the man sympathetically. “I’ll drive. You watch Jaehyun and help ___ if she needs it.”

Taeyong propped Jaehyun’s upper body on his knee while opening the door before carefully easing him into the back seat. You made your way onto the other side of the car, cradling his head in your lap, carefully brushing his hair out of his face. Despite the intense pain his body face probably in, his face still looked peaceful. It was hard to imagine what might happen if he had lost too much blood and was beyond repair. His shirt was practically soaked and he had already soaked through the rushed bandages Doyoung applied before you left. By the time you had reached the hospital, Jaehyun’s coloring had faded tremendously.

Employees from the hospital rushed out while Taeyong said something to them, following the group of nurses wheeling Jaehyun through the hallway. He eventually had to stop as they reached a checkpoint where only medical personnel could proceed. Taeyong turned, running his hands through his hair and gripping at the root to pull at it.

You stood in the middle of the hallway, tears drenching your face and watched. Unlike the last time you saw Taeyong like this, you shared his pain. You felt all the fear Jaehyun said he had for you. It was like all of a sudden, you had a deep insight into the burden your boyfriend was carrying for months knowing he was endangering you.

“What happened? I need to know what happened.” Taeyong yelled at you and Doyoung, eyes in a panic.

Your eyes pleaded with him as you all stood in the middle of one of the general waiting rooms. Everyone there seemed to be staring at you. All of your clothes were covered in Jaehyun’s blood and you couldn’t imagine what it would be like to see a sight like this. “I walked in at the last second. I can tell you, but we need to go somewhere more private.”

Taeyong didn’t even answer, just took off in the direction that you came. Doyoung made quick strides to follow him and you were left almost jogging behind. After you made it to the about as secluded of a space as you could get, the two men looked at you expectantly.

You took a deep breath, trying to get your emotions under control the best you could. “I shot Johnny.”

Taeyong looked at you. “What would have happened if you didn’t?”

“He would have died.”You admitted. It was hard to know that if you wouldn’t have walked in when you did, Jaehyun wouldn’t be with you anymore. That was the severity of the situation. “He has him pinned down with a gun to his chest. The only reason he got out was because I shot Johnny’s arm and Jae was able to grab his gun.”

Taeyong stood for a second, seemingly processing the situation Jaehyun was in before turning to his friend. “Doyoung, I need you to do something for me.”

Doyoung simply nodded.

“I need you to go back to the office and take over for a bit. I’m not leaving until Jaehyun does.”

“I can do that.” Doyoung gave him a weak smile. No one wanted to leave but there was no way all three men could be away from the office.  “Keep me updated.”

“I will,” Taeyong assured him before continuing. “On your way to the office, call Jungwoo and make sure everything went okay. The last thing I need is him somehow slipping out and surviving.”

Doyoung muttered an acknowledgment before turning and leaving the hospital. 

Taeyong looked at you, eyes brimming with tears. At this point, you knew that between the two of you, there had been nonstop crying from the stress, fear, and realization of what was happening.

“We should probably head back to the waiting room, huh?” Taeyong asked.

You looked at the two of your appearance and remembered that you were both covered in a fair amount of Jaehyun’s blood from the transport. “Can we buy some different shirts first? I don’t want to be wearing a constant reminder that my boyfriend could die.”

“Could die, but won’t. I trust Dr. Qian. I will not lose Jaehyun, too.” His voice still shook a little bit and on top of the pain you felt, you also felt fear for him. 

The two of you managed to change into some slightly scratchy sweatshirts from the gift shop before making your way back to the seating area. You sat in silence knowing that you wouldn’t be sure he was okay for an indefinite amount of time. Saying anything would be a reminder of the fact that you could both lose him. 

You placed a hand on Taeyong’s knee in hopes of letting him know that you were there for him. You were going through this together and the last thing you wanted was for him to feel alone at a time like this. He patted your hand in acknowledgment before looking at you. “I’m sorry for the way I treated you at first.”

“Taeyong, after knowing you for a bit, I know it was to protect yourself and Jaehyun. I’m not mad at you for it.”

“I know but just… seeing you with him and seeing you now. I feel like shit for treating you how I did and making you jump through all these hoops. I should have trusted Jaehyun’s judgment.”

“To be fair, we met in a bar.”

“You were drugged.” Taeyong reminded you.

“Yes, but that is a part that I choose to avoid mentioning to any friends and family.” You tried to joke. The time and place were all wrong but you were so desperate to not think about what was happening behind those doors.

“Just accept my apology.” Taeyong sighed in teasing exasperation. “I don’t say sorry often.”

“I forgive you, Taeyong.” It was sincere. You felt like the two of you had come a long way since you first met him. Your first interaction with him left you absolutely terrified. You saw a powerful man in charge of a powerful company. He was stern and cold, his face usually emotionless. The day you signed the contract was the day you saw just a small glimpse of his real personality. You wanted so badly to respect him and like him since he was Jaehyun’s closest friend. It grew increasingly harder as you watched Jaehyun express frustrations towards the man on multiple occasions.

The day you wound up in his office asking for respect was the biggest turning point for you. It was the first time Taeyong talked to you like a human being instead of someone who was forced to run around and do his biddings for him. You saw just how much he loved and cared for Jaehyun, regardless of how short the conversation was. You no longer hated the man, you felt bad for him. He seemed to dislike himself as much as he thought everyone else did.

When he lost Mark, it was the first time you ever hurt for him. Seeing him in that state was a reminder that it didn’t matter how big and powerful you were, you were still a person. It was obvious that Taeyong didn’t trust a lot of people so losing someone so close to him was devastating. You were able to see the friendship that he and your boyfriend had built for years during that time of mourning. For the first time, you were able to see why Jaehyun cared for him. He was passionate and if he loved you, he loved with all he had. He genuinely cared about people and only pretended to act like he didn’t in order to not be taken advantage of.

Looking at the man next to you now, you knew it was clear the whole time that everything was a front. Everything was a different man entirely and he was only able to do it because he knew it would protect the ones he loved. The man you knew now was stronger than the corporate business mogul. He was wise and kind. Everything he did was to give people a chance at living. The entire reason he decided to let crime run as long as it was controlled was because he was able to understand that some people were doing this because they had to to get by. He inherently saw the good in people but was smart enough to keep everyone at a reasonable distance. The facade was so that people would take him seriously, but you think maybe he could accomplish more by being unabashedly him.

“I have a lot of respect for you, honestly,” you admitted. “Running a company isn’t easy and you do it well.”

“Not well enough to keep Jaehyun out of the hospital.”

“Taeyong, that isn’t your fault.”

“It’s hard not to feel like it is. I dragged him into this. I’m the reason he was even in that position. He should have finished college and been an accountant or something else that’s safe.”

You felt like you were having the conversation you so frequently had with Jaehyun. He always felt bad for dragging you into this world but you walked into it after learning the truth by staying with him. “It’s it dragging him into this if he came willingly.”

“He didn’t know what he was signing up for.”

“And he could have left once he learned.” You lowered your voice before continuing. “You wouldn’t have killed him and I think we all know that.”

“It’s hard to think that way when the only person you have left is possibly dying.”

“Hey, don’t think that way. You said it yourself. He won’t die.”

He nodded.

“And you keep saying you only have Jaehyun, but Doyoung does anything you ask of him. I’m here talking to you and trying to help you when I could be sitting on the opposite side of the room, wallowing in my own fear and anxiety. You have more people than you realize.”

“I’m being so selfish. It’s your boyfriend.”

“But it’s your best friend and partner. My pain is not any greater than yours.” You told him.

He looked at you for a second, mind clearly going a mile a minute with the way his eyes scanned your face. “I couldn’t have picked anyone better for Jaehyun than you. I want you to know that.”

“Thank you, Taeyong.”

You both rested back in your chairs. The day had been very taxing emotionally and you were beginning to feel the effects throughout your body. You needed to rest for a moment, but you were scared that if you did, you would miss the doctor coming out to talk to you.

Taeyong seemed to notice the way your blinks were slowing and your eyelids were heavy. “Go to sleep. We don’t know how long it will be before we can see him. I’ll wake you up when Dr. Qian comes out.”

“What about you?”

“My adrenaline is still pumping from seeing him like that. I don’t think I can sleep right now.”

You nodded before closing your eyes and attempting to greet sleep.

* * *

Taeyong woke you up by shaking you lightly. “Hey, the doctor is here and I don’t want to talk to him without you.”

You nodded, blinking away the remaining fatigue and standing up. You were about to find out the state that Jaehyun was in and you couldn’t help the way your heart was pounding in your chest. Taeyong led you to the man waiting for you too by the door.

“Taeyong. I wish I could say it was nice to see you again, but I’m very sorry about the circumstances.”   
“Thank you, Kun.” He shook his hand. “How is he?”

“Let’s take a walk.” Kun nodded down the less crowded hallway. “I’m Dr. Qian, by the way. I haven’t met you before.” He spoke to you.

“___. I’m Jaehyun’s girlfriend.”

“Lucky him.” He gave you a smile. His presence was very comforting. He spoke relatively softly and without any stressed tones which made you feel better about the state Jaehyun was in.

Once you reached a more private area, Dr. Qian faced the two of you. “I’m going to be honest with you. He lost a lot of blood. One short was directly into his shoulder so that’s not anything of serious concern. The other grazed his subclavian artery by his collarbone. We were able to control the bleeding and have a successful blood transfusion, but he’s going to be very weak for the next few days.”

“That’s incredible.” Taeyong let out a huge breath, clearly relieved.

“Now he did also receive a concussion. Unfortunately, we aren’t aware of the severity of it yet and we’ll have to perform a few tests when he wakes up. Other than that, he is okay. He’s in stable condition. After we figure out the severity of his brain injury, you’ll be able to see him.”

“Thank you, Kun. For everything. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course.” He nodded towards him. “Hopefully, I’ll be back soon to be taking you to see him.” He turned and walked away leaving you and Taeyong stand in the hallway.

“Holy shit. He’s okay.” Taeyong clasped his hands behind his head, letting out a long breath.

All you could do is stand in stunned silence. You had never been more thankful in your life. Knowing Jaehyun was okay relieved you of so much stress and you couldn’t wait until you were able to see him again. 

Taeyong turned towards you, pulling you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around him while he rubbed your back. When you broke away, Taeyong put his hands on your shoulders, looking into your eyes. “Thank you again. If he didn’t have you, he would be dead right now.”

“Let’s not think about the what if’s. He’s okay.”

Taeyong nodded before fishing out his phone from his pocket. “You go back to the waiting room. I’m going to call Doyoung.”

Making your way back to the waiting room was a surreal experience. You were going to be able to see Jaehyun again. You didn’t realize just how much was at stake until you realized he was safe. Whether it be out of protection for yourself or denial to admit what was happening, nothing was truly processed until now. A wave of various emotions coursed over you. First, it was anger followed shortly by anxiety. Last was joy. You had to stop in the middle of the hallway, the intensity of your sobs making it hard to continue walking to your destination. You leaned up against the wall, sinking down to the floor. Cradling yourself, you let the feelings wash over you. Tears soaked through the knees of your suit pants as you tried to work through all that you were feeling. 

It was hard. Everything about this situation was. Up until now, being with Jaehyun had been easier than expected. Yes, there had been some trials but it was nothing compared to the constant stress and fear you expected to be in when you first agreed to continue your relationship. Now that you had almost lost Jaehyun, the reality of this life and his job was finally resonating with you. Everything that had happened up until this point hadn’t truly affected him or you. The mission you went was a temporary space in time and neither you or Jaehyun had to face any consequences for killing that man besides a few nightmares. You both had managed to remain removed from the downfalls of the position he carried. 

When Mark was killed, it hurt Jaehyun but it still didn’t exactly endanger him. You were able to excuse every single thing that had happened so far since Jaehyun was left unharmed. Now that he was laying in a hospital bed after narrowly escaping bleeding to death, you realized that this outcome was a possibility that was present all along. At any point in time, Jaehyun could have been killed. Up until this very circumstance. Jaehyun had been lucky. He was smart and good at his job, yes, but someone could have easily caught him off guard and killed him as they did with Mark.

It wasn’t long until you felt a pair of arms pull you into them. Taeyong sat with you while you continued to let out your cries that had possibly been bottled up since the beginning. He didn’t say anything and you were thankful. It was nice to have someone there with you, but you needed this time to process what all was happening. It seemed unfair that it was all hitting at once during a time like this, but you took the opportunity to let so many things go. You were finally moving past the night in the alley. You were finally leaving the night in the club behind. You could finally be present and with Jaehyun to the fullest knowing that you were relinquishing all the pain and fear that had been building since the one night in the restaurant with too many courses.

When you had finally calmed down, Taeyong rubbed your back and encouraged you to stand up. “Let’s go okay? I bet he’ll be awake soon.”

“I probably look like shit.”

“You really don’t. It just looks like you’ve been crying.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

Before you could even reach the waiting room, Dr. Qian found you. “He’s awake if you would like to go see him. He has a mild concussion, but he should be fine and back to normal in about six weeks.” He turned to Taeyong. “He’s gonna need some time off.”

“He’s going to be getting plenty. There’s no way he could shoot a gun in his state.”

“You think he’s going to want to keep his position?” Dr. Qian asked, brows furrowed.

Taeyong shook his head. “He’s taking Mark’s place. I’m going to urge him to pick someone to take his place.”

“I have a feeling he already plans on doing that. Especially after today. He was never really a huge fan of his old position even though he’s incredibly good at it.”

“No, I guess you’re right.” Taeyong acknowledged. “Well, thank you again.”

“I hope to see you soon on better circumstances.”

“Yes, with both of our crazy amounts of free time.” Taeyong joked.

Kun laughed softly. “Go see Jaehyun. He was asking for you two.”

After he walked away, you looked at Taeyong before asking the question that you'd been wondering since you first met the doctor. “He knows?”

He nodded. “He knows everything. He was an acquaintance in college and I knew he was going to be a doctor. The first time someone in my company got hurt, I called him in a panic. I told him everything because I was scared of the questions I might get and what might happen to the company. He agreed to take any of my employees and he would never question what happened or how. He would help them and release them.”

“I’m glad you have that.”

“Me too, or multiple people would have been left to die for fear of the police finding out,” Taeyong admitted.

When you finally got to Jaehyun’s room, you opened the door slowly. He looked at you and gave a small smile. “Hey.”

“Hey, babe. How are you feeling?” You asked, making your way over to the side of the bed to sit in a chair there.

He grabbed your hand. “My mouth is dry, my head hurts, and my shoulders feel like a bullet ripped through them. Other than that, I’m fine.”

“Still have a sense of humor, I see.” Taeyong pointed out, leaning against the wall behind you. 

“I would be shrugging right now but I think I’m gonna keep my shoulders still.” Jaehyun tease, voice still cracking in places.

“You wanna talk about what happened?” You whispered, running your thumb along the back of his hand.

He turned his head a little more so he could see you better. “Yes, but first do you wanna tell me why you came home when I specifically told you to stay with Sooyeon?”

“You never told me that.” You looked at him confused. You remember the doctor saying he had a mild concussion, but surely that wasn't enough to make him think something happened when it didn't.

“Yes, I did. I texted you.” He looked at you, frustrated for what he thought was knowingly throwing yourself into harm's way.

“My phone died.”

“Well, I guess I should be thanking your phone because if it weren’t for you I would have been dead.” He took a deep breath. “Were you aiming for his arm?”

“His neck.” You admitted. You intended to kill him but it didn’t exactly go as planned.

Jaehyun gave a small nod. “Well, you shooting him in the arm worked better because it made him drop the gun.”

“You’re alive, Jaehyun. That’s all that matters.” Taeyong told him.

“Yong, he knew. He knew I was the CEO. He knew we were onto him. He basically pulled his gun the second we got into the apartment.”

He nodded in response. “I had a feeling that was the case. Why else would he want to go to an apartment to celebrate instead of one of the clubs.”

“I know. It was stupid of me to agree, but I saw this as a chance.” Jaehyun sighed. You could tell he was disappointed in himself for making a mistake like this when he had been in the field for so long.

“I don’t want you taking chances anymore,” Taeyong told him sternly.

“I won’t I just-”

Taeyong interrupted him and you remembered what he told Kun in the hallway. “No, I mean I don’t want you to be our assassin anymore. Being a CEO is enough.”

“I was planning on doing that, I just didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to leave it all to Ten.” Ten probably wasn’t the ideal candidate to take on such an important role from what you had seen in the few times anyone had talked about him. You were relieved to hear that Jaehyun had planned on stepping down even though it was your first time hearing of it.

“Pick someone else and train them.”

“Okay. I will.”

“Thank you.” You could practically see the fear and stress leaving Taeyong’s body once he received that affirmation from Jaehyun.

“If you don’t mind, I may go to sleep again.” You tried to stand up but Jaehyun stopped you. “___, stay here. Please.”

You sat back down next to him while Taeyong left the room. Even though he was going back to sleep, It felt good knowing that you still had him. Hopefully, you would continue to have him for the rest of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this didn't make you love taeyong, idk what will
> 
> let me know what you think!
> 
> tumblr: lovingyong


	16. final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for mimi and chris. thank you for your continued support

The next few days were nothing short of difficult. Not only was it hard to watch Jaehyun be in pain, you also had to remind him constantly that the only way he was going to get better was to rest. You were somehow able to take off work, which was miraculous considering all the days off you had in the year alone. Since you didn’t have to be anywhere, you hadn’t left his side for longer than a few minutes to go grab food, shower, and change. Jaehyun insisted that you go home and actually get rest, but you knew that you would be tossing and turning in the bed without him beside you. 

The nightmares had progressed so much since you had first found out about Jaehyun being an assassin, but you think that the ones recently may be the worst. You had to sit and watch what might have happened if Johnny successfully pulled the trigger each and every time you tried to sleep. You would shoot awake in a panic that would only continue once you saw Jaehyun in a hospital bed in front of you. It took a few minutes to remember that he was fine and you didn’t have to worry about losing him for the time being.

That, of course, reminded you of the fact that you could still lose him. Just because he survived this, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have more targets on his back once he publicly accepted his new position. It was a harsh reality to face and your stomach dropped every time you thought about the potential new dangers. You almost wished he would just have stayed an assassin, but you knew that was never a possibility. 

Your thumb rubbed over the back of his hand lazily as you scrolled through various new articles on your laptop. Just because you weren’t in the studio, didn’t mean you could stay out of work completely. You had offered to help write scripts and put together segments from home in order to reduce any potential frustration that could come from your absence. No news of Jaehyun’s condition had gotten out and you were sure that Taeyong would do anything in his power to keep it that way. Instead, the news was filled with the second bust on the underground group. The important higher-ups were successfully arrested and the group's involvement in various illegal activity was slowly coming out. It was a relief to know that Taeyong had successfully gotten the group under control, but you didn’t know how long it would be before other problems arose. You tried to be thankful for the momentary peace without focusing too hard on situations that may not even happen.

Jaehyun’s hand tensed under yours momentarily and you looked up the see him slowly blinking, trying to wake up fully.

“Good morning, sunshine.” You smiled at him, closing your laptop and turning towards him.

He looked at you, brows furrowed. “Did you sleep?”

“Enough.” You hadn’t slept since he had been in the hospital with the combination of the uncomfortable chairs and chilling nightmares. 

“Where?”

“Here. I just put my head on the bed next to you.” You patted the small amount of space on the uncomfortable cushion. Despite the small creak in your neck, it was the best option for you because of its proximity to him

“Baby, you need to go home.”

“I’m not going to sleep in that apartment until you’re beside me.” Leaving his side wasn’t an option. It was one thing to know he was okay and another to be at home knowing that anything could happen if there wasn’t someone by his side.

“Then stay with Sooyeon.”

“Why? So I can stress out about being away from you? Just let me stay.”

“I’m just worried about you.” He reached for your hand, intertwining your fingers once more. He stared at your hands resting on the bed, releasing a sigh.

You understood his worry but you were sleep deprived while he was hospitalized for two gunshot wounds, a mild concussion, and severe blood loss. “I think I’m more worried about you, therefore, I win. I’m staying here until you get released.”

He shook his head, giving a small smile. “Didn’t know that this was a competition.”

“I’m just ready for you to get to go home.” You admitted.

“Yeah, no kidding.” He rested his head on the pillow behind him. “When do you think Taeyong will stop by?”

Taeyong had stayed the first night with you before having to return to work the next day. The past few days Taeyong had come by during his lunch breaks as well as sleep on the couch in the room. Neither of you were supposed to be in the room past visitor hours, but Kun made sure to tell the nurses to leave you alone. You would wake up in the mornings and Taeyong would already be gone, but it was honestly nice to have him there. Jaehyun felt at ease being filled in on what he missed while also getting to have his best friend here with him. 

“Well, considering we just woke up, I would say a few hours.” You leaned back in your chair.

“I just… I hate that I can’t work. I don’t know how much work Taeyong is having to do on his own.”

“He has Doyoung.” You reminded him.

“I know.” He said it, but it didn’t sound like he really meant it. He may know Doyoung is there, but you knew he didn’t have a lot of trust for anyone right now. 

“No matter how much Taeyong says he only has you, it isn’t true. I would say a lot of people in your office would help Taeyong if he gave them the chance to.” You lowered your voice, hoping to provide him with some sort of comfort.

“He definitely won’t now that Johnny almost killed me.”

“I know that, but just know that the company will not crumble without you there.”

“How long did Kun say I’m supposed to be in here? Six days?”

“At least.” It was hard to watch his growing frustration with the situation. No one  _ wants _ to be in the hospital for a week. It gets even harder when you’re scared that your best friend’s life is on the line the longer you’re unable to help.

He squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck.”

“It’s okay, Jae. Just focus on getting better and you’ll get out faster.” You both knew that wasn’t how things worked. Jaehyun couldn’t sit there concentrating on forcing his muscles to fuse back together, but at this point, it was the only comfort you had. The more he rested, the sooner he could get out. It was the only way he would actually try to take it easy.

Jaehyun sat quietly for a minute. “You know, now that I’m hurt, I’m realizing we should have had sex more. I took that for granted.”

Your laugh echoed around the room. “Is that seriously what you’re thinking about right now?”

“You don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone.” He jokingly mourned, eyes low. He was acting as if the two of you never slept together when that was far from the truth. There had been times where the two of you weren’t together for a week or two, but it was because of various things happening that made you emotionally unavailable. You had always thought that you had a healthy sex life. It was funny to hear him talk like this now.

“I think it’s safe to say we’ll have sex again.”

“Yeah, but I can’t perform any strenuous activities.”

“For a few weeks.” You looked at him in mock annoyance. “Plus, is it strenuous if I do all the work?”

He laughed, squeezing your hand. “I like the way you think.”

“A nurse is going to walk in and I’m going to be embarrassed.” You shook your head, attempting to change the subject.

“I won’t be.” He smirked, a corner of his lip turned upwards.

“Go to sleep.” You positioned your chair slightly away from him and opened your laptop again, searching for any new articles you would need to gain information from. You had spoken to Officer Minjun a few times to receive information on the blooming case, but you didn’t want to be a bother by calling him again.

Jaehyun watched you scroll, eyes trailing across the screen to read about the ongoing case. He knew more than the public ever would, but he liked to know how much was surfacing in order to better do his job in the future. If too much information got out, it could put Lee Enterprises at risk.  

“Sit on the bed with me.” He patted the space next to him, trying to scoot over.

You shook your head without even looking up from your computer. “I would have to lean back on your shoulder and it would hurt you.”

“I miss you.” For the first time in your whole relationship, you heard Jaehyun genuinely whine. You started to question just how hard he really hit his head.

“I’m right here," you stated, tone light.

He groaned, reaching for your arm but you were just out of reach. “It’s not enough.”

“You’re awfully needy when you’re bedridden.” You teased, a smirk gracing your face.

“I’m holding you for a week once I get out of this damn place.” Jaehyun had always been affectionate and forward about his feelings but it was slightly amusing to see him like this. 

When you didn’t answer, Jaehyun either decided to watch you work quietly or just go back to sleep because you were able to compile a somewhat cohesive script for the nightly segment with space for any new developing stories throughout the day. When you finished, you turned back around to see Jaehyun resting peacefully and it gave you some sort of relief. Every time he gave his body a break, you knew that you were one step closer to going home. 

Taeyong came in at about lunchtime, food in hand. The two of you ate at the couch, not wanting to wake up Jaehyun. The majority of the lunch was relatively quiet. While the two of you had come a long way in your relationship with each other, you weren’t quite comfortable enough to be able to constantly maintain a conversation. It was at least a comfortable silence until Taeyong spoke up.

“How do I tell Jaehyun I don’t want to talk about work without him catching on that things aren’t going so smoothly?”

“What do you mean?” You asked before taking a bite of food. From Taeyong’s daily reports, everything seemed to be going fine. You asked

Jaehyun if he thought he was telling the truth and he confirmed he was. Apparently, Taeyong can lie to anyone except the people he’s close to.

“I don’t want him to be eager to get back to work when he needs to be resting, but,” he swallowed his current bite of food before dropping his voice to a whisper. “We weren’t able to catch one of the leaders. He fled and none of us know where he is. Doyoung can’t find him anywhere. We think he’s trying to get a new group together.”

You weren’t really sure how to process the information. If there was still just one person out there, there was still a threat for both Jaehyun and Taeyong. It was too early to say that this second bust was the end of your stress, but you didn’t think it would turn out like this. “You have to lie to him.”

“I can’t lie. He’ll find out everything when he gets back to the office. The problem is, I need him to tell me who his replacement is so we can start working with him. I cannot continue to have Ten be our only defense when he’s as unreliable as he is.” He rubbed his forehead. This wasn’t the ideal situation by any means but you knew it could be worse. One person was hard to track down, but it would take him a while to get enough support to really be a threat. The company should have plenty of time to train a new assassin and come up with a feasible game plan.

It took you a second to figure out how to word things. Jaehyun’s suspicions were high and he spent way too long analyzing everything Taeyong said. This had to be delivered perfectly or Jaehyun’s stress would skyrocket. “Just say that you want to train them on the basics so that when Jaehyun gets out, he can work on the more complicated things. You can teach someone to shoot but you can’t teach him to be Jaehyun. I think he would understand wanting to speed up the process, especially if you emphasize it’s for his protection.”

Taeyong nodded, considering it. “It was pretty risky of us to talk about it in front of him when he could just be pretending to be asleep.”

You looked towards your boyfriend, asleep in the hospital bed. His mouth was slightly open with his head turned to one side. “I don’t think he would be drooling if he was pretending.”

You earned a laugh from Taeyong and it was loud enough to cause Jaehyun to stir slightly. He had been asleep for a few hours now, so you were no longer too upset about disturbing his rest. His eyes opened slowly, looking towards you and his best friend and at the bags of food on the table. 

“Did you bring me something, or are you going to make me eat slop and jello?”

Taeyong reached down and grabbed a bag by his feet before walking over to Jaehyun. “I hardly think the hospital food is slop, but yes I did bring you something.”

Jaehyun hummed in appreciation, carefully lifting his arms to eat. He had been saying that the pain wasn’t too bad, but you knew that occasional movements were at least uncomfortable with the way his eyebrows would furrow for a second. Sometimes he would let out a small hiss from the pain.

“Can I talk to you really fast?” Taeyong asked, sitting in the chair that you usually sat in.

Jaehyun nodded, taking bites of his rice.

“Who did you want to take over your role? I’m just trying to sort some things out and it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start preparing them for the position.”

Jaehyun stilled. “Sort what things out?”

“Payroll and unofficial positions. Plus, I just don’t feel comfortable with Ten being our only offense.”

Jaehyun sorted. “Yeah, absolutely not. I was thinking Sicheng.”

Taeyong looked surprised. “I don’t know who I was expecting but it wasn’t him.”

“When I asked him to disappear, he did. Without any questions.” He was about to take another bite but froze. “Did anyone tell him he could come back to work?”

Taeyong nodded, “Doyoung called the burner after Jungwoo confirmed the cleanup.”

“Okay good. Anyway, he’s also just incredibly smart. All of his plans are incredibly thought out with plenty of other options. He’s the opposite of Ten and I think it would help cancel out the recklessness Ten has regarding assignments.”

Taeyong nodded. “Okay. I’ll talk to him this afternoon.”

“Get him ready for me so when I get out of here, we can start working on strategy and techniques.”

“I know you got the promotion, but I’m still your boss. I don’t think you get to tell me what to do.” Taeyong teased.

Jaehyun tsk’ed in return. “We’re partners now.”

Taeyong stood up, walking away from him. “I have to get back to the office. I don’t think I’ll be back tonight Since I’ll work with Sicheng right away.”

Jaehyun nodded, watching Taeyong leave the room. He turned his attention to you. “He didn’t give me any updates.”

“There probably weren’t any updates to give, Jae. Maybe that’s why he wants to start working with Sicheng. There’s finally a break.” It was hard to deter him from his skepticisms when he began questioning things, but you knew that you had to put up a convincing front for the sake of his health.

Jaehyun considered it for a moment. “I guess you’re right. The whole thing just felt rushed. We barely talked.”

“He was here for a while before you woke up.”

“I feel like I’m going crazy.” He whispered. It was hard to see him so defeated. His instinct was right. There was definitely something going on, but he would find out the details when he was ready. Until then, the whole situation didn’t matter.

The week passed slowly with Jaehyun’s frustrations growing more and more each day. By the eighth day, Kun allowed Jaehyun to go home if he promised he would take at least another week off of work. He agreed, knowing that he could work from home and help in a way that wouldn’t put his body at risk. 

Doyoung and Taeyong were there when he was released to help set everything in the apartment up in a way that wouldn’t take a lot of lifting or strain. Jaehyun had to sit on the couch and watch all the adjustments be made to his home. It undoubtedly affected his pride, but none of you wanted for him to get hurt all over again because he was too stubborn to ask for help.

Once the two men left, you walked over to the couch, laying down and resting your head in his lap. His fingers threaded through your hair softly. “I love you.” You whispered.

“I love you, too.”

You sat up to give him a small kiss before laying back down on his lap.

“I have a favor to ask you.” He mumbled.

You hummed in response, unsure of what he may be asking you to do.

“We’re having a press conference to announce my new position since I’ll be handling the more public side of the company. I want you to be there.”

“Okay. Do I need to ask off? When is it?”

“No, I need you to report on it. If you’re the one giving the story, I can ensure nothing gets said that might endanger the company.”

“What would even be said?” You didn’t think the police were aware of the company’s involvement in organized crime. They also were currently unaware of Johnny’s disappearance as far as you knew. He was another homebody just like Jaehyun and Taeyong. If he was too busy selling the copious amounts of man-made drugs, he didn’t have a lot of time for personal relationships.

“I don’t know,” Jaehyun admitted. “I would just feel a lot more comfortable if I knew you were giving the story. Plus it would be a guarantee that you could be there.”

“We love a trusty press pass.”

Jaehyun paused for a second. “I also would like to go to dinner afterward to celebrate, so it would be nice if you didn’t have to be in the primetime news.”

“I bet if I cover the press conference, they’ll let me out early anyway. I’ll say something to them tomorrow.” Usually, if you gave a report on something during the day, they switched one of the day time reporters to the evening segments. Or they would just go ahead and bypass one of the on-scene segments.

“It’s going to be on Friday.”

* * *

You put on your headset outside of Lee Enterprises that Friday afternoon. A rather large crowd had gathered outside the building, waiting for the news that Taeyong would deliver shortly. Your camera crew was currently in front of the podium, setting up to film what would be the announcement in order to broadcast it live on the channel. You wouldn’t be able to report on the speech until it was over, but it was nice to know what would be said so you could prepare your segment in advance. The whole report was approved by Taeyong and Jaehyun so you knew you wouldn’t accidentally say something you didn’t mean to.

When you had finished untangling the cord from your microphone, you looked up to find the front door opening. A security team walked out first, flanking either side of the stage. Taeyong followed immediately with Jaehyun and Doyoung standing on either side of him. Once he reached the podium, he gave a small bow before adjusting the microphone. 

“Thank you for coming this afternoon. As many of you know, my brother, Mark, was shot and killed not too long ago. This not only was difficult for the company because of the loss of a great leader, but it was difficult for me. My brother and I were very close and leading this company together was always something that was very important to us. I have always known that I could never do this on my own. This past month has been proof to me that I would need help. I have been lucky enough to have people by my side who were willing to go the extra mile and help me. The company was able to continue smoothly because of these people.”

Doyoung stepped forward before Taeyong continued his speech. “There were two people in particular that I want to acknowledge. Kim Doyoung was the previous Director of Marketing. He has helped me maintain a positive public image in the midst of a situation that should have been chaos. He is level headed and able to focus on the bigger picture while I may be lost in the details. He cares about this company and about the way it impacts our city and country. Because of this, he will now operate as our Chief Marketing Officer.”

There was a small round of applause as Doyoung bowed before stepping back slightly. Jaehyun then stepped forward and you could feel pride spread throughout our body as you teared up. Taeyong nodded towards him before turning his attention back to the press. “The second person has been a dear friend of mine for a long time. Jung Jaehyun is a man of dignity, honesty, and diligence. He has never met a problem he doesn’t face head-on with a well-constructed solution. He has helped me without me asking for years now and he never once complains or asks for anything in return. I can confidently say that there is only one person Mark would ever truly feel confident passing his position onto and it is the man beside me. This has been a family run business since it first started and it will remain that way. Jaehyun is as much family to me as blood and has been since the beginning of our friendship. Because of this, Jaehyun will be operating by my side as Chief Executive Officer from this day forward.”

You quickly padded at the tears on your cheeks with the sleeves of your blazer. You didn’t want to have to explain why you were so emotional when no one you worked with knew of your relationship with Jaehyun. You smiled as Jaehyun bowed and stood up to shake Taeyong’s hand. All the fear you had regarding the promotion dissipated for a few moments as you watched the two of them together. You had seen the two men in action and knew that they were a force to be reckoned with. Despite all of your worries, you knew that there couldn’t be a better thing to do for the two of them.

The three men bowed a final time before making their way back into the building. The camera crew rushed back to where you were currently set up. You watched Simon and Hyunjin discuss the press conference while the crew positioned the cameras and lights to be on you. Nerves coursed through your body as you tried to sort through what you were supposed to say. 

The segment went smoothly with little questions from either anchor, allowing you to carry through with your previously rehearsed speech with few interruptions. You found yourself trying not to get emotional talking about Jaehyun’s successes and the importance of the new position. Regardless, you managed not to give too much information away or let too many emotions show.

You wrapped up your headset and microphone while trying to calm your nerves for the dinner tonight. It had been a while since the two of you were out in public together and with the new promotion being announced today, it wouldn’t be surprising if Jaehyun was recognized. There was a chance of you being recognized as well but the possibility was much smaller. Jaehyun was now the head of the most important business in South Korea and people were bound to know him eventually. It was a weird feeling to know that you would never have the same level of privacy again, but it was something that you were willing to deal with if it meant he was no longer killing people for a living.

You walked into your apartment and straight to your bedroom, dropping your stuff at the door. Jaehyun was currently in the bathroom adjusting his tie when you peeked your head around the corner.

“Mr. CEO.” He smiled at you and you walked up to him, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “I’m so proud of you.”

Jaehyun wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “I saw you crying.”

“I didn’t cry.” You lied.

He smiled, kissing your nose. “Go get ready. The dress I got you is hanging up in the closet.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Look at you going all out. You haven’t done that since our 6 months.”

“I would have done it at our year, but we had other stuff going on.”

You pressed your forehead to his before walking out of his grasp. “I preferred the way we had it.”

You had told him countless times before, but you prefered to eat takeout on the floor with a boring movie playing in the background as opposed to some upscale restaurant that you felt uncomfortable even breathing in. It was his day and his moment so you wanted to let him have it however he wanted. If he wanted to get all dressed up and go eat 18 different courses, you would go with him with nothing but a smile on your face.

Walking into the closet, you saw the black dress with a simple halter neckline. It was something that you would have probably picked out yourself. You appreciated that Jaehyun had gotten to know you well enough to pick something so closely resembling your own style. Slipping it on along with a pair of black heels, you walked into the bathroom to get ready.

“What if we just stay here and eat takeout,” Jaehyun asked.

You looked at him, knowing his true intention. “We would end up not eating at all because we got distracted. We can go get dinner and celebrate in other ways later.”

He seemed satisfied with your answer, pressing a kiss to your cheek before leaving the room.

Once you were ready, Jaehyun tried to convince you to stay home one more time before you actually made it to the car. The drive was filled with Jaehyun talking about his plans for his new office and how he’s going to have to find his own Doyoung. It wasn’t long before Jaehyun was pulling up next to the curb, exiting the car to come and open your door.

“Your super fancy place you’re taking me doesn’t have valet?” You asked.

He laughed, “Not exactly.”

The two of you walked down the sidewalk for a couple of minutes before you saw the familiar rows of food trucks lined up against the sidewalk. “This is not a super fancy place.” You stated as if it wasn’t obvious.

“When have we ever been the type to celebrate with food neither of us can pronounce? It’s the first Friday of the month. We had to celebrate with food trucks.”

You smiled at him, squeezing his hand a little tighter. “You just wanted to get all dressed up?”

“Really, I just wanted to see you dressed up because it takes my breath away every time, but I knew you wouldn’t wear a dress that nice if I wore sweats.”

You laughed while your cheeks burned from the compliment. “No, I definitely wouldn’t have.”

The two of you stopped at your favorite trucks, gathering a collection of food before heading to one of the tables at the park nearby. You stopped caring about the mess the food made and knew that the black material of the dress would be hard to stain. There is no other place in the world you would rather celebrate than here in the middle of the huge monthly food truck gathering.

“___, I want to say thank you,” Jaehyun said. His tone was much more serious than you were expecting, catching you off guard. The street lights in the park shone on his face and you couldn’t help but think that this was the most handsome he had ever looked. 

Your words caught in your throat but you forced them out anyway. “For what?”

“I wouldn’t be the man I am today if it weren’t for you.”

“You give me too much credit.” You said, attempting to brush off his statement. He was an incredible person when you met him and he was still incredible even now. It was hard to believe that it was all because of you.

He shook his head. “I’m serious. You make me someone I’m proud of being. You have given my life meaning and a purpose. I cannot imagine where I would be without you. This past year has been simultaneously the best and worst year of my life. So many things have happened and I’ve had so much loss, but all of that pain feels like nothing because I get to come home to you. You are my light in the middle of the darkness. You are the love of my life and I cannot imagine ever being without. I don’t even want to try.”

You could feel yourself tearing up. In your time knowing Jaehyun, you had felt more happiness than you could have ever thought imaginable. There was pain and a fair share of struggles but everything was worth it because you had him. Everything that he said about you was true regarding your feelings for him. You did not want to spend a single day of your life without him. “Jaehyun, I-”

Before you could finish, Jaehyun stood up and reached into his pocket. He got down on one knee in the middle of the park you had your first date and pulled out a box. “Will you marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my friends I am here to say that we have reached the end. while I am extremely excited to move forward and work on my upcoming projects, I feel overwhelmingly bittersweet. This project has been so important to me since this past december. I have learned so much about myself and my writing and I truly think that I wouldn't be half the writer I am today if it weren’t for this project. It warms my heart to know some of you enjoyed this work just as much as I enjoyed writing it, if not more so. It has been an absolute rollercoaster and I’m happy to say that while I am moving on from you may regret this, I am not forgetting it. A sequel will be coming. I cannot tell you when or how or what it will look like, but my heart is too attached to these characters to leave it. Until then, I have a large collection of short stories/one shots that I plan on releasing as well as Taeyong’s back story. These are all ideas that have been building in my brain while I pushed myself to finish this series and give it my full attention. If that interests you at all, please consider subscribing to my user on this site or following me on Tumblr so you can see my updates.
> 
> for everyone who has read this series to completion, thank you. for everyone who has left kudos and comments, thank you again. I appreciate each and every one of you more than this ridiculously lengthy a/n could ever even come close to capturing. 
> 
> i wish each of you the best and here’s to a busy summer with hopefully lots of released stories
> 
> much love,  
> kelsie
> 
> tumblr: lovingyong


	17. don't look back preview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here's an excerpt from what will probably be chapter 6 just because i'm so happy to be writing in this world again

_jaehyun’s pov_

Taeyong drove until about two miles out from where Ten was being held hostage. Doyoung and Sicheng would be waiting for them a mile up. They didn’t want to draw attention to themselves by meeting in the same area with luxurious sports cars and the two most recognizable men in business.

Jaehyun loosened his tie. It had been a while since he went on a rescue mission. Usually, Taeyong felt comfortable sending one person to do his bidding, but this was a different story. They had no clue how many people were there or where Ten was even located outside of his general location. The distress signal sent from his cuff links could only do so much. Taeyong had chosen to send in his best men which were, unfortunately, the four most important men in the company right now. Taeyong wasn’t a fighter but he and Doyoung were two of the brightest strategizers. Put them together and you could have a concrete plan in minutes. Combine that with Jaehyun and Sicheng’s stealth and accuracy and you had a practically invincible group.

Jaehyun should be relieved that this could be fast but all he felt was dread. He hadn’t shot a gun since the night when Johnny attacked him. At first, he had wanted to give himself time to heal from his injuries. After a few months though, he did it out of sheer avoidance. If he didn’t stay in practice with shooting, he could pretend that he really had left that life behind. He should have known that dream was too good to be true.

As the two approach the meeting spot, he prepared himself to go inside the building. Gun was loaded and equipment was pulled out of boxes that had begun to collect dust. The earpiece fit nicely in his ear and it instantly calmed his nerves. This was muscle memory. Despite his hatred for the job, he couldn’t deny that it had become second nature to him.

He looked up to find the two men leaning up against a sleek black G Wagon. Sicheng was loading his gun, nodding while Doyoung talked him through something. Jaehyun’s replacement caught his eye, smirking devilishly. The new man was already enjoying this way more than Jaehyun ever had but he was thankful Sicheng had a proper balance of crazy and collected in order to be successful in his new position

“What’s the situation inside, boss?” Sicheng asked him, nodding off to the building behind him.

Taeyong answered for him seeing as he was the one that had all the information. “Ten’s target was the daughter of the main arm’s dealer on the black market. He thought he could devise a plan that would resemble a trading deal. They smelt his intentions the second he tried to make arrangements.”

“When’s he going to drop the whole ‘close-range’ thing he has set up for himself?” Sicheng asked. He had just started working with the other assassin and he already saw the ruse that Ten put forth. It was nice to know that at least one of the pair had some sort of sense.

“Never. He feels more comfortable with a knife than a gun.” Jaehyun explained, exasperated by the idea of having to constantly clean up Ten’s mess even though he had moved up and away from his old job.

“He was going to take down an arms dealer with a knife?” Doyoung scoffed in disbelief. “Taeyong, this kid’s more trouble than he’s worth and we all know it. Why can’t we just leave him?”

“You know I don’t lose. Plus, this is an important target. She’s been working with the Blind Eye by feeding them weapons. We need to get rid of her before she can warn the others that we’re onto her. I will not lose an assassin and a whole gang of targets because of one fuck up.”

“Isn’t her father one of our biggest allies? Why not just capture her and make her talk?” Jaehyun asked. It wasn’t smart to anger a group who specialized in weaponry.

Taeyong shrugged. “She went behind his back. Her father told me that if she betrayed him, she was better off dead. She’s stubborn as hell and doesn’t answer to anyone. We won’t be getting any information out of her.”

“Saying your daughter is better off dead and having your daughter killed by an ally are different things.” Sicheng’s brows were furrowed. He didn’t believe in this plan and wasn’t afraid to voice it.

Taeyong’s gaze shifted to steel. “Should have chosen his words more carefully, then.”

“So this girl. What’s her deal? All I know is Yuta has the hots for her.” Sicheng grabbed his own equipment from the car. 

“Yuta likes her because she’s pretty and she knows her way around a gun. She would never give Yuta the time of day with how self-serving she is.” Taeyong spit. Jaehyun knew he had a history of working with the girl but it clearly didn’t go over well with the way he talked about her now.

“Can I take her on or not?” Sicheng asked blankly.

Jaehyun stepped forward, loading his own gun. “You’d have to shoot her without being seen. Plus, who knows how many of their men will be in there with her.” He stepped over to the blueprint of the building rolled out in the backseat. He pointed to a small room. “I’m guessing this is where they have him. I’ve been in this building before and it’s the best option for a hostage. The room has two entrances but it’s a maze to get outside of the building from there. Easy to get turned around with the design of the hallways.”

“We’re gonna split up, right?”

Jaehyun nodded. “Doyoung will be your eyes while Taeyong is mine. You shoot and distract them. I’ll clean up the stragglers and grab Ten.”

Doyoung huffed. “Then what do we do with him?”

“Honestly,” Taeyong sighed. “I don’t fucking know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please look forward to taeyong's sequel coming in july! i will start posting the sequel to this story in the fall!
> 
> tumblr: lovingyong


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